Monday, May 01, 2006

Little Tony.

LITTLE TONY ON MATH A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little TONY. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."

LITTLE TONY ON MATH (Part 2) Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3,'" I said "6", replies TONY. "But that's right!" says his dad. "Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3 x 2?'" "What's the f-ing difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!"

LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" TONY says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful." Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.

The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!" LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2) One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f-ing beautiful!'" <><><><><><><><><><> A bit rough, that one. Sorry. A couple of quick ones: <><><><><><><> How many egotists does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds on to the light bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him. <><><><><><><> How many voyeurs does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but they'd much rather watch someone else doing it. <><><><><><><> How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end. <><><><><><><><>

10 comments:

dragonflyfilly said...

hey Merle and fellow Gemini person (man, there sure are a lot of us around)...anyway...i saw you over at Miss Meow's site, which i love...and thought i would "check you out"...anyway, i will drop by again to spend more time but my egg timer went off 5 minutes ago...that means, back to the kitchen for me....

later,
pj (at Flamingos Hideaway)

Granny said...

I'd say shame on you but I'm too busy rolling on the floor laughing.

Tony says what many of us may be thinking but are unable to say.

JunieRose said...

MY,MY!

That little Tony is a very knowing boy for his age! :)

June

Peter said...

Rightoh Tony, what have you done with my nice refined sister Ya little s**t.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Tony's knows a bit too much for his age. *LOL*

Granny said...

My problem with laundry is that I have more closet space than drawers so most of their clothes hang on vertical rods - five items to a rod. It's pretty tricky hanging without pulling the whole thing down.

They fold and put away towels and washcloths and their underwear though (usually).

Now if I could just keep them from pulling out six things and wearing one. Girls.

Jacqui said...

Hi Merle, it wasn't so much being brave, it was the realisation of a dream that I never thought would come true, and I was just excited and had the love and prayers of my family, and simply went forward i n faith. It sure was worth it.

doubleknot said...

Just love the Tony jokes. Your pictures are nice. Thanks to AIP for sending you that prayer.
I have found that the Laws of the Univere are very true and try not to let them get me down but let them make me laugh.
Have a nice day.

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