NEW ADDRESS.

I have moved. My new address is http://merle-3rdtimelucky.blogspot.com/ Thanks, Merle.

Yet Another Update.

On checking the 2nd update which Peter put on for me I noticed that he had put an s after merle, so I have deleted the s and the correct address is merle-3rdtimelucky.blogspot.com/ I can understand his slip as my sites have been so much trouble to him as well as me. Maybe we are on the right track now. Maybe !!! Take care my friends, Regards, Merle.

2ND UPDATE

The link to my new site is; that is; http://merle-3rdtimelucky.blogspot.com/ Some clarification of how to comment both to and from BetaBlogger and the old Blogger; If both sites are on Beta Blogger just fill in the WV and publish comment. From non-Beta to Beta sites; use "other" enter your "Name" (that is usually used when you comment) and then fill in your site URL below that, this allows me to get back to your site by clicking the link. (BTW for sites that have switched to Beta you need to allow "anyone" to comment in your Settings - Comments section.) To enable Beta Bloggers to comment on your site if you have not changed yet the options of "other" and "anonymous" need to be available, if they are not available on your comment section you need to go to your "settings" - "comments"and tick "anyone" where it asks who can comment on this blog, if you choose not to do this Beta Bloggers will not be able to comment on your site, as there is an ever increasing number of Beta users this will isolate you from an ever increasing number of commenters. The other thing that helps us find one another when things go wrong is to list an email address either on your profile or on the sidebar. That's the state of play at the moment, with all the changes that are going on who knows what it will be tomorrow. I will post this at third try as well so hopefully all my readers will see it.

Blog site update

Because there are some publishing problems and an irritating little message that delays the opening of Herons Nest I am going to continue using Third Try at least for the moment, Herons Nest will remain as an archive of my start as a blogger.

What is a Dad?

Good evening or good morning to my friends. Tomorrow

is Father’s Day in Australia, so I would like to wish all

the Aussie Dads a very happy day with their families,

and a bit of spoiling from them. Also the Grandfathers.

So of course, my topic tonight is --- “What is a Dad?”

<><><><>

A dad is a man who is especially honoured

At certain times of the year with titles such as,

Head of the family, King of the Roost and

Top Man of the organisation,

But more often his presence, his steadfastness,

And his support are taken for granted,

Like the foundations of a house.

To a Dad, life is a give-and-take proposition

He gives his time, energy, love and advice,

And usually has to take a lot in return:---

Complaints, noise, teasing, problems, criticism,

And often what seems to be a sad lack of appreciation.

<><><><>

Besides the requirements of being a man,

A Dad is expected to have the endurance of a camel

The shrewdness of a fox, the paiience of an elephant,

The industriousness of a beaver and the cheeriness

of a Robin,

Name anything – a Dad is supposed to fix it,

Mow it, paint it, train it, know all the facts about it,

Exterminate it. call for it or drop it off, spank it,

find it or pay for it.

Dads are not perfect !!

They don’t mind mentioning your faults;

They keep bringing up the subject of work

When you feel the least energetic.

<><><><>

Somehow though, whatever you do in life,

And whatever success you achieve,

One of the biggest, warmest and most gratifying

rewards of all

Is to know --- Dad is proud of you !!

You don’t always tell a Dad how much you love him

Because there are no words that really express feelings

So deep and sincere. Still you can’t help but feel,

He understands what’s in your heart --- Dads do !!

<><><> I miss my Dad. <><><>

Now for a joke called “Box of Chocolates.”

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or

wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you open a box of chocolates:-

<><> Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona

when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

<><>

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally. "What in bag?" asked the old woman.

<><>

Sally looked down at the white bag and said, "It's a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband". The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking

with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: "Good trade".

<><><><><>

A farmer had 30 free range chooks (chickens) and three

roosters. Every day they would peck their way around the

yards. But every night they would return to the hen house

to roost. Ten chooks and a rooster would take the bottom perch.

Ten chooks and a rooster took the second perch

above the first lot. Ten chooks and a rooster took the top perch,

above the other two perches.

<><>

The farmer didn’t own all these chooks. Which ones were his?

Only the chooks on the bottom perch, because all the others

were on higher perches. (Hire purchase.)

<><><><><>

And just a few quotes to close with ----

The best exercise for the heart is to bend over

backwards for someone else. –Anon.

<><><>

If a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking him if

there is anything you can do. Think of something

appropriate and do it. – E. W. Howe.

<><><>

Troubles shared are troubles halved. – Proverb.

<><><>

A comfortable home is a great source of happiness.

It ranks immediately after health and a good

conscience, -- Sydney Smith.

<><><>

A crank is a man with a new idea – until it catches on,

-- Mark Twain.

<><><>

You never get a second chance to make a good first

impression. --- Anonymous.

<><><>

Bye for now, till next time. Take care my friends, Merle.

This Age.

Hello again Friends ~~ Well it is the first of September,

the first day of Spring and the weather was here to prove

it. We had 23 degrees, which I think is about 70 degrees

Fahrenheit. Just very nice, so I plan to enjoy it until it gets

too hot, and then I will complain about that !!!

<><><><>

I have a recipe that I have not made yet, but it sounds as

though it would be very nice.

<><><> It is called Ham and Pineapple Bake. <><><>

Small can of Celery Soup

Small can of drained crushed pineapple

½ cup milk, pepper and salt, Teaspoon chopped parsley

4 medium sliced potatos – par-boiled

1 tablespn butter, 1 onion, 1 cup chopped ham

Chop onion finely and cook in melted butter,

add soup, milk, salt, pepper, parsley, pineapple and ham.

Put a layer of sliced potatos in a greased casserole,

add the other mixed ingredients and cover with a layer

of sliced potatos. Cook in moderate oven for ¾ hour.

<><><><><>

I hope that it turns out OK. I plan to make it myself.

I have a little poem for you called “This Age.”

<><><>

This is the age I had not cared to reach - - -

This outer edge of youth –- when, here and there

A strange new silver thread slips in the hair

And careless days grow further back with each

Additional birthday. These have been the years

I dreaded secrety, and suddenly find

It is a lovely age, and I was blind

To beauty that must follow when the ears

Are more attuned to listening, the touch

More sensitive, and the eyes have learnt at last

To see detail, and not go hurrying past

To newness always. And this age is much

More satisfying, now the heart has lately,

Found love’s not taking but giving greatly.

<><><><><>

And now a couple of blonde jokes -----

FINAL EXAM

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails.

Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out. During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm

rechecking my answers." >>>>>><<<<<<

THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back into the house.

<><>

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

<><>

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

(are you ready? this is a beauty .)

My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

<><><><>

And a few quotes from Pocket Positives, a book

of quotations - - - -

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will

land among the stars. – Les Brown.

It’s great to be great, but it’s greater to be human.

--- Will Rogers.

The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.

Ralph Waldo Emerson.

The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they

are to strong to be broken. – Samuel Johnson.

We spend so much time yearning for that special item

that will finally make us happy, that we don’t take time

to look around and discover that we already are. –Anon.

Bye for now, till next time, Take care, Merle.

<><><><><><>

Now She Is Gone.

Hi Everyone ~~ Back with you again after my trip to the

funeral. It was very nice, and I plan to post a reading

from it in a little while. Kath’s daughter Kerry spoke very

well, about her mother’s illness, her happier times and

her days as a child, when she and her brother would wag

school and have a day off. There were little anecdotes etc

and lots of memories, and Kerry did it beautifully. Her

husband spoke briefly, and the reading was by their son

aged 15. He read it very well which must have been hard.

Apart from that there were 8 first cousins there and it

was great to see and talk to them for a little while.

I am most grateful to John for taking me.

<><><><>

Reading : “Now She Is Gone.”

You can shed tears that she is gone

or you can smile because she has lived.

<><><>

You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll cme back

or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.

<><><>

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her

or you can be full of the love you shared.

<><><>

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live

yesterday or you can be happy for tomorrow

because of yesterday.

<><><>

You can remember her and only that she’s gone

or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

<><><>

You can cry and close your mind, be empty

and turn your back or you can do what she’d want

smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

<><><><> Read by Kath’s young grandson, Zachary.

A little poem called “Bless You” and I would like to

dedicate to you, my friends for the kindness and love

you have shown at this sad time. Thanks, and bless you.

<><><>

Bless you for all your kindliness,

for all you have done for me,

For little courtesies of heart with

No one near to see,

For moments when, without your smile,

I would have lost my way ---

For these, and all the other things,

Bless you so much !! I say.

<><><><>

Bless you for all the nights of prayer

And watch when I am ill,

When Faith shines like a steady flame

In long, dark hours, and still,

And bless you for your morning smile

When dawn breaks through at last.

Bless you --- you are in my heart ---

Where I will hold you fast !!

<><><><><>

And a couple of jokes now - - - -

A man is playing piano one night in a bar,

In walks an elephant who goes over to the pianist,

and suddenly starts to cry.

“There there,” says the pianist.

“Do you recognise the song?”

“No, no,” says the elephant.

“I recognise the white keys.”

<><><><><>

An elderly couple went to the doctor for Viagra.

The doctor advised against it because of the gent’s

age, but gave in with warnings to take a tablet one

night, then skip the next and so on.

<><><>

A week later the doctor bumped into te old chap’s wife

and discreetly inquired how things were going.

“Oh, my husband died,” she matter-of-factly replied.

The doctor was distraught. “I knew I shouldn’t have

given him the Viagra, but you both insisted,” he said.

“Oh. it wasn’t the Viagra that killed him doctor,” she

assured him. “It was all that skipping.”

<><><><>

And a few thoughts to finish - - - -

He who has roses in the garden also has roses in his heart.

-- Anonymous.

<><><>

In peace and quiet pass our days,

With nought to vex our craniums,

Our middle beds are all ablaze

With red and white geraniums.

<><><>

Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent

perspiration. – Albert Edison.

<><><>

You are surrounded by gifts every living moment of every

day. Let yourself feel appreciation for their presence

in your life and take the time to acknowledge their

splendour. ---Lon G. Nungesser.

<><><>

You give but little when you give of your possessions.

It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

--Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese poet and writer.

<><><><>

Bye now, till next time, Take care my friends, Merle.

<><><><><>

Just by Chance.

Hello my Friends ~~ This will not be a long post as I have

a big day tomorrow. My son is taking me to Maryborough,

Victoria which is about 2 ½ to 3 hour trip from here.

It is for the funeral of my cousin, and to see several other

cousins who will attend, as well as seeing how Kath’s husband,

daughter, and her three boys are coping. No post tomorrow folks.

I will find a poem for you and then there is an article about

“women” that my friend Sandy sent to me.

Thanks so much Sandy.

<><><><>

<><><> Poem -- Just by Chance. <><><>

Just by chance you came along,

You smiled as you passed me by,

Just by chance I saw you smile ---

And grinned back in reply.

<><>

Just by chance I heard you laugh,

When the world seemed dull and grey,

Just by chance I laughed aloud,

And the sun shone right away.

<><>

Just by chance you sang a song,

The tune embraced the air,

Just by chance I heard your lilt,

And softly said a prayer.

<><><><>

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..

. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra... A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

One friend who Always makes her Laugh... And one Who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE..

. A good piece of furniture not previously owned by Anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

Eight matching plates, Wine glasses with stems, And a recipe for a meal that will Make her guests feel honored.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

A feeling of control over Her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

How to fall in love Without losing herself...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

HOW TO QUIT A JOB

BREAK UP WITH A LOVER

AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING

THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

When to try harder... and

WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

That she can't change The length of her calves, The width of her hips, or

The nature of her parents...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

That her childhood May not have been Perfect... but; It's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

What she would and Wouldn't Do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

How to live alone... even if She doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

Whom she can trust, Whom she can't, And why she shouldn't Take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

Where to go.. Be it to her best friend's kitchen table.. Or a charming inn in the woods... When her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

What she can and can't accomplish In a day... A month... And a year.

<><><><><>

And a few quotes, from my book, “Pocket Positives.”

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of

them ? -- Abraham Lincoln.

<><><>

Animals are such agreeable friends --- they ask no questions,

they pass no criticisms. --- George Eliot.

<><><>

You can always tell a real friend; when you’ve made a fool

of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.

--- Laurence J. Peter.

<><><>

What are you looking forward to in the next year ?

The next ten years ? Isn’t it exciting to imagine all the

possibilities the future holds. – Anonymous.

<><><>

The best thing about the future is that it only comes one

day at a time. --- Abraham Lincoln.

<><><><>

Bye for now. I will be back posting on Thursday. Take care

and be happy. Cheers, Merle.

<><><><><><>

It Shows in Your Face.

Hello my Friends ~~ And what great friends you are !!

I feel overwhelmed with your kind and sympathetic

words and I thank you most sincerely.

I learnt today that Kath enjoyed their usual Sunday roast

dinner and apple pie, and very soon after had a heart attack,

so it was very sudden and unexpected, but better for Kath.

Now to find something of interest to post.

<><><><><>

<><><> A Poem called “It Shows In Your Face.” <><><>

You don’t have to tell how you live each day,

You don’t have to say if you work or play;

A tried, true barometer serves in place ---

However you live, it will show in your face.

<><><>

The false, the deceit, that you bear in your heart,

Will not stay inside where it first got the start,

For sinew and blood are thin veils of lace ---

What you wear in your heart, you wear in your face.

<><><>

If your life is unselfish, if for others you live,

For not what you get, but how much you give;

If you live close to God in His infinite grace ---

You don’t have to tell it – it shows in your face.

<><><><>

<><> Another called “Count Your Gardens” <><>

Count your garden by the flowers,

Never by the leaves that fall;

Count your days by golden hours,

Don’t remember clouds at all.

Count your nights by stars, not shadows,

Count your life with smiles, not tears;

And with joy, through all your lifetime,

Count your age by friends, not years.

<><><><>

This joke was in the Melbourne Herald Sun today ---

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk,

they connect and they end up leaving together.

They get back to his apartment and she notices that

his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly

teddy bears. Hundreds of cute little bears on a bottom

shelf all the way along the floor. Cuddly medium sized

ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears

on the top shelf along the wall.

<><><>

The woman is surprised that this hunky guy would have

a collection of teddy bears, but she decides not to

mention how impressed she is by his sensitive side.

Things progress and they get down to an intense night

of passion.

Afterwards, lying side by side, the woman rolls over and

asks smiling, “Well, how was it?”

<><><>

Macho man says; “ Help yourself to any prize from the

bottom shelf.”

<><><><><>

<><><> And now some quotes to finish with <><><>

We all have faults. It’s important to recognise your own,

but try to turn a blind eye to the faults of others. –Anon.

<><>

Love your enemies, for they will tell you your faults.

--Benjamin Franklin.

<><><>

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

-- John F. Kennedy.

<><><>

Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is youself. But we

shouldn’t be harder on ourselves than we would be on others.

--Anon.

<><><>

Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.

-- Kris Kristofferson.

<><><>

So long as we are loved by others I should say that we are

almost indispensable; and no man is useless while he has a

friend. – Robert Louis Stevenson.

<><><><>

Bye for now and thanks for being blogging friends who

are so kind and caring. Take care, till next time, Merle.

<><><><><>

IT'S EASY.

Hello my Friends ~~ Tonight will be shorter, and a lot

different. Thank you to those who commented , as I probably wont get round much tonight. I had the sad news today that my cousin, Kath lost her battle with breast cancer after an awful fight, with a mastectomy, chemo, radiation, and 2 brain

operations, the first to remove brain tumours and the recent one to remove scar tissue, that they suspected was another tumour.

The saddest part for me, I spoke to her Friday and told her that I had arranged to visit her next Saturday.Kath was pleased and so was I, but I should have done it sooner.

She leaves a husband, a daughter and 3 grandsons and was only 71, a year younger

than me. R.I.P. dear Kath.

<><><><>

I chose a short verse to post, so I hope there wont be too many typing errors. It is called “IT’S EASY.”

It’s easy to smile on the bright days

It’s harder to smile when they’re blue

The best way to make bad days right days

Is to smile when it’s hardest to do.

<><><>

All things must have a beginning

Now is the moment to choose

Everyone smiles when they’re winning ---

Let’s see you smile when you lose.

<><><><><>><>

I have a joke for you that my friend Sue sent me, so a big thank you Sue. I sure don’t feel

a lot like finding jokes, so it was very timely.

An Answered Prayer

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only

two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert like island.

The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agree

that they had no other recourse but to pray to God.

<><>

However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they

agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on

opposite sides of the island.

<><>

The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the

first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he

was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land

remained barren.

<><>

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray

for a wife. The next day, another ship was wrecked, and the only

survivor was a woman who swam to his side of the land. On the

other side of the island, there was nothing.

<><>

Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The

next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However,

the second man still had nothing.

<><>

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife

could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked

at his side of the island. The first man boarded the ship with his

wife and decided to leave the second man on the island. He

considered the other man unworthy to receive God's blessings,

since none of his prayers had been answered.

<><>

As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from

heaven booming, "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?"

<><>

"My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for

them," the first man answered. "His prayers were all unanswered

and so he does not deserve anything."

<><>

"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "He had only one prayer,

which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any

of my blessings."

<><>

"Tell me," the first man asked the voice, "what did he pray for

that I should owe him anything?"

<><>

"He prayed that all your prayers be answered."

<><>

For all we know, our blessings are not the fruits of our prayers

alone, but those of another praying for us.

<><><><><>

Just a couple of thoughts -- the first on Faith

Without winter, there can be no spring.

Without mistakes there can be no learning.

Without doubts, there can be no faith.

Without fears, there can be no courage.

My mistakes, my fears and my doubts are my

path to wisdom, faith and courage.

<><><><><>

Do all the good you can,

By all the means you can,

In all the ways you can

In all the places you can

At all the times you can,

To all the people you can,

As long as ever you can….. John Wesley.

<><><><>

Say I love you to all the people you love.

Bye for now, Merle.

<><><><><><><>

Drivers etc

Hi Everyone ~~ The end of another week here in

Australia with the weekend looming. One of the things

I do regularly is to run my security scans on Saturday.

And so far they have not found any serious problems,

for which I am very thankful.

<><><><>

I have a recipe for a sweet that I make in Summer.

It is called Passionfruit Cream.

1 packet Passionfruit or Pineapple jelly

¾ cup of boiling water. Make jelly and cool.

½ cup sugar or sugar substitute

1 egg . Beat these together.

Add ¾ cup of milk and stir together

Add the pulp of 1 passionfruit.

Then add to cooled jelly and refrigerate.

<><><><> Not too inspiring, but it is very nice. <><><><>

Now I am going to alienate all the male drivers!!!

<><> What is a man Driver ? <><>

A man driver is the supercilious counterpart of that

intelligent user of the roads – a woman driver ( one of

which is me). A man driver is so smug about his

comparative prowess that he cannot see past the end of

his nose, which is probably why he makes so many mistakes

while driving. A man driver is a person who thinks that a

split second should be defined as a period of time between

the moment the traffic light turns green, and the moment

he should start blowing his horn.

<><><>

Man drivers come in many varieties, but from my experience,

they all have one thing in common – they adore hugging

curves. The main trouble is to convince them that the curves

they should hug are the ones that border the roadside. A man

driver seems to think that the faster he drives the smarter

he is regarded, but he’d do well to remember that the best

way to see 90 is not to try to see it on te speedo.

<><><>

The only reason a man driver is so much to the fore is that

there happens to be more of them, but I would remind him

that quantity is not nearly so important as quality. I am

quite sure, especially speaking as an experienced woman

driver, that I am more than prepared to give any man driver

on the highway, the half of the road to which he is entitled ---

that is, provided he can make up his mind which half he wants.

<><><><><>

Sorry fellas, please keep in mind that I no longer drive !!

<><><>

Here’s a joke for the menfolk.

A man woke up one morning to see his wife standing by the

bed in a skimpy negligee, She was carrying a velvet rope.

She purred at him: “Tie me up and do anything you like.”

So he tied her up, and went fishing.!!!

<><><><><>

A man had just read a book called “You can be the Man of your

House. He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to

his wife. Pointing a finger in her face he said sternly :” From

now on, you need to know that I am the man of the house, and

my word is law.

You will provide me a gourmet meal tonight and when I’m

finished that you will serve me a sumptious dessert.”

(Note frm Merle, I think this lad is heading for trouble !!)

“Then after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me,

and we will do what I want.

After that, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax.

You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.

Then you will massage my feet and hands. After that is done

guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?”

His wife replied: “ The funeral director would be my guess.”

<><><><><><>

<><><> The Guy To Watch <><><>

You watch the guy who drives ahead

And the guy who drives behind;

You watch to the left, and watch to the right,

And drive with a calm clear mind.

<><>

But the guy you really have to watch

On the highway, you will find

Is the guy behind the guy ahead,

And ahead of the guy behind.

<><><><><>

<><> Finally a few thoughts for you. <><>

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

--Elbert Hubbard.

Whoever retains the natural curiosity of childhood

is never bored or dull. Anonymous.

On Death.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn’s rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there, I did not die. Anon.

<><><>

In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there

was in me an invincible summer. –Albert Camus.

You don’t drown by falling in the water.

You drown by staying there. –Anon.

That’s it for tonight. Stay well and stay happy, Merle.

<><><>

Delinquent.

Hello My Friends ~~ Another day gone by. It has been

trying to rain, but not a lot so far. I hope there will be

more overnight, as the farmers and water storages do

need it so badly. What we had has watered my garden.

I have a nice patch of Broad Beans in flower, so they

will be great fairly soon. Some camelias and azaleas

have started flowering and some other things also.

<><><><><>

First tonight is a story “How to Make a Delinquent.”

Begin from infancy to give the child everything he wants

. . .this way he’ll grow up to believe that the world owes

him a living.

<><><>

When he picks up bad words, laugh at him . . . . it will

encourage him to pick up cuter phrases that will blow the

top of your head off later on.

<><><>

Never give him any spiritual training . . . . wait till he’s 21

and then let him decide for himself.

<><><>

Avoid the use of the word “wrong”. . . . it may develop a

guilt complex, and this will condition him to believe later

when arrested for stealing a car that society is against him

and he’s being persecuted.

<><><>

Pick up everything he leaves lying around – books, shoes,

clothes, etc . . . do everything for him, so he’ll be experienced

in throwing all responsibility on to others,

<><><>

Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be

careful that silveware and drinking glasses are sterilised, but

. . . let his mind feed on garbage.

<><><>

Quarrel frequently in his presence . . . this way he won’t be too

shocked when the home is broken up.

<><><>

Give him all the spending money he wants . . . . why should he

have things as tough as you did.

<><><>

Take his part against neighbors, teachers and policemen . . . .

They’re all prejudiced against him.

<><><>

Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See

every essential desire is gratified . . . denial may lead to

harmful frustrations.

<><><>

Prepare yourself for a life of heartache . . . .you will have it.

<><><><><>

<><> Political correctness when talking about Men. <><>

He does not have a beer gut

He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage.

<><>

He is not quiet.

He is Conversational Minimalist.

<><>

He is not stupid.

He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.

<><>

He does not get lost all the time.

He discovers Alternative Destinations.

<><>

He does not get falling down drunk.

He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.

<><>

He does not talk constantly about cars.

He has Vehicular Addiction.

<><>

He is not balding.

He is in Follicle Regression.

<><>

He is not a male chauvinist pig.

He has Swine Empathy.

<><>

He does not eat like a pig.

He suffers from Reverse Bullimia.

<><><><><>

A senior citizen said to his 80 year old chess partner,

“So I hear you are getting married ?”

“Yep,” was the firm reply. “Do I know her?” he asked.

“Nope,” was another firm reply.

“This woman, is she good looking?””Not really,” said the

prospective groom. “Is she a good cook?”

“Can’t cook to save herself,” the old fella said.

“Does she have lots of money?”

“No, poor as a churchmouse,” he said.

“Well the, she must be good in bed?”

“I”I don’t know,” was the surprising answer.

“Why in the world do you want to marry her?”

“Because she can still drive.”

<><><><><><>

A man was bragging to his mates about his sister, who

disguised herself as a man and joined the army.

“But wait a minute,” said one of his mates. “She’ll have to

dress with the boys and shower with them too, won’t she?”

“Sure,” said the bragger.

“Well, won’t they find out ?”

“Yeah, but who’s gonna tell?”

<><><><>

<><> And a few thoughts for you. <><>

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle

of the road. They get run over. –Aneurin Bevan.

Confidence is realising that although you aren’t best at

something, you still enjoy doing it. Anon.

What the hell –you might be right, you might be wrong-

-- but don’t just avoid. –Katharine Hepburn.

And to finish -- An Irish Blessing

May the road rise up to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

May the rain fall soft upon your fields

And until we meet again

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Bye for now, Take care, Have a great day, Merle.

<><><><>

Repercussions.

Hi Folks ~~ I’mmmm Baaack!!!! I hope all is well with

you all and things are going well at your house. All

OK here at the moment… I have a great casserole

cooking in the crockpot. Steak and kidney and lots

of vegetables. It will cook overnight, and then in the

morning I will pop some dumplings in on the top of it.

<><><><>

I have a poem called “Repercussions” tonight.

One morning, Algernon McGurk

While getting dressed for work

A hole in his sock he did find ---

And angrily he spoke his mind !!

Accused of laziness his mate,

In words and manner most irate,

Provoked, his erstwhile gentle wife,

Distressed at such domestic strife,

Spanked and stood Junior in the hall

For scribbling on the bathroom wall.

Whence Junior, much incensed at that,

Vented his wrath upon the cat !!

A mighty tug he gave it’s tail,

And, with a loud protesting wail

It hurtled through the kitchen door

Just as the milkman went to pour

The milk into the waiting can . . . .

And on the steps the milk all ran !!

Poor Milko had to clean the mess,

Which made him late in seeing Bess

The house-maid at Old Wealthy’s place;

And she accused him to his face

Of gossiping with Bella Sweet

Who ran the milk-bar down the street.

Then Bess, in quite a nasty mood

Answered, in manner curt and rude

Her mistress, who later made a scene

At breakfast, and called Old Wealthy mean

Because he would not buy her mink

He held his peace, though ears went pink,

Until he went to his office at ten ----

And though he was mostly the mildest of men,

He made it unpleasant for all at work,

Especially ---you guessed it-– for Algie McGurk,

Who really was at quite a loss

To know what had provoked his boss.

<><><> So, this little story has a moral

Directed at those who love to quarrel . . .

Just pause before you fume and fuss,

Or your actions, alas ! may re-percuss !!!!

<><><><>

**** Now for a few funnies ---****

A Polish man moved to Australia and married a local girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got

along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s

office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce.

The lawyer ( L) said that getting a divorce would depend

on the circumstances, and this exchange took place

with the client ( C).

L – Have you any grounds ?

C – Yes, half a hectare and a nice little home.

L – I mean what is the foundation of this case ?

C – It made of concrete.

L – I don’t think you understand. Does either of you

have a real grudge ?

C – No , we have carport.

L – I mean what are your relations like ?

C – All my relations still in Poland.

L – Is there any infidelity in your marriage ?

C – We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

L – Does your wife beat you up ?

C – No, I’m always up before her.

L – Why do you want this divorce ?

C – She is going to kill me. I got proof.

L – What kind of proof ?

C – She is going to poison me. She got a bottle from

the super-market and put it on the bathroom shelf.

I can read, and it says , “ Polish Remover.”

<><><><><>

The Indian chief introduced his wife to a newspaper reporter. The reporter asked her name. The chief replied, "Three Horse." "That's a picturesque name," said the reporter. "Does it have a deep

symbolism?" "Yes," the chief replied. "Nag, nag, nag!"

<><><><><>

A man was sitting in a bar gulping down shot after shot

of whisky. His friend comes into the bar and sees him.

“Lou”, says the shocked friend , “what are you doing ?

I’ve known you for 15 years and I’ve never seen you take

a drink before. What’s going on ?”

<><><>

Lou replies without even lifting his bleary eyes from his

newly filled shot glass, “My wife just ran off with my best

friend,”and he throws back another shot in one gulp.

<><><>

“But Lou,” says the other man, “I’m your best friend.”

The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot

eyes, smiles and then slurs, “Not any more. He is !!”

<><><><><>

A few little bits out of the newspaper.

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.

---- Confucius.

Mini-skirts keep men polite. A man will always let a mini-

skirt on the bus or tram first.

Junk is stuff we throw away.

Stuff is junk we keep.

My thought for today – Don’t tell me what I can’t do,

let me show you what I can do.

<><> Bye for now, Stay well and happy. Take care, Merle.

<><><><><>

White Lies.

Hello my friends ~~ Well all stocked up again AND I

did not forget anything this time. So that is a nice

change. The weather is so nice these days, it is a

pleasure to be able to move away from the heater and

the power bills and gas should be lower for awhile. At

least until the cooling brings them up again. What fun !!

<><><><>

<><><><> A Poem Called White Lies. <><><><>

In hospital beds side by side they lay,

The youth with fair hair, the old man with grey.

The older man chatted as days went by,

But from the youth, there came no reply.

<><><>

Then to the man came a wonderful thought,

The youth’s attention at last he caught,

“Here, from my window by my bed,

The nicest things I can see,” he said.

<><><>

“Here comes a lad with the tiniest pup,

It’s lagging a bit, he’s picked it up,

A couple of cars – a narrow squeak that !

And here’s a girl with the cutest hat.”

<><><>

And so it went on, for quite a long spell,

Till the old man went home, having been made well !

When the nurse came around, the young man said,

“Please nurse, may I have the old man’s bed ?”

<><><>

In the bed by the window the youth now lay,

Eagerly waiting for break of day.

Then what did he see ? Why nothing at all,

Nothing, except a tall, bare, brick wall !!!

<><><><><><><>

<><>Probably you have read it before, but it is a nice one.<><>

<><><> Now for a joke or so. first “The Bull” <><><>

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the

breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign

attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."

<><><> The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See he mated

50 times last year ... once-a-week." They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This

bull mated 120 times last year." The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice

a week! You could learn a lot from him."

<><><> They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital

letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said,

that's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one." The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with

the same old cow."

<><><> NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable

and the doctors say after months of rehab and a couple more surgeries he

will likely be okay.

<><><> One Day at the Doctor’s Office. <><><>

An elderly couple showed up at the doctor’s office

together one day The doctor asks “What can I do for you ?”

The man said, “We’d like you to watch us have sex, and

make sure everything is all right.”

<><><>

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple

finished, the doctor daid,”There’s nothing wrong with the way

you have sex, everything id fine.” He charged them $50. and

they went on their way.

<><><>

The next week, they showed up again with the same request,

and the next week and several weeks in a row. The couple would

make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor

and leave. Finally the doctor asked, “ Just exactly what

are you trying to find out ?”

<><><>

The old man said, “We’re not trying to find out anything. She

is married and we can’t go to her house. I’m married and we can’t

go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90.

The Hilton charges $109. We do it here for $50. and I get

$43. back from Medicare.”

<><><><> And a few thoughts for you <><><><>

Do not be afaid to take a big step if one is required.

You cannot cross a chasm in two small jumps.

n David Lloyd Gearge.

<><><>

May you have food and raiment,

A soft pillow for your head.

May you be half an hour in heaven,

Before the devil knows you’re dead.

<><><> Irish Blessing.

No one ever hurt their eyesight by looking at the bright

side of life. – Anonymous.

<><><>

If you can’t see the bright side, polish the dull side. Anon.

<><><>

If you don’t like it, change it. If you don’t want to change

it, it can’t be that bad. – Anonymous.

<><><>

You can be whatever type of person you choose to be.

Your habits, your behaviours, your responses, are all

your choice. –Anonymous.

Goodbye for now, enjoy your lives, Cheers, Merle.

<><><><><><>

Butcher Dance.

Good evening People or Good morning ~~ Whatever.

I had an e-mail from a friend warning of a possible

cause of breast cancer. It said that we should not

use anti-perspirants, as apparently we are meant to

perspire to get the bad stuff out of us. It seems that

deodorants are OK, but not the anti-perspirants. I

thought I would pass it on as something to consider.

Shopping day tomorrow and as it is only once every

two weeks, I get excited about it. No hope for me !!

<><><><>

<><><> This is a joke called the Butcher Dance. <><><>

A guy spent five years traveling all around the world making a documentary on Native dances. At the end of this time, he had every single native dance of every indigenous culture in the world on film -- or so he thought. He wound up in Australia, in Alice Springs, so he popped into a pub for a well earned beer. He got talking to one of the local Aborigines and told him about his project. he Aborigine asked the guy what he thought of the Butcher Dance. "Butcher Dance?" he said, confused. "What's that?" "What? You didn't see the Butcher Dance?" "No, I've never heard of it."

<><><> "Mate, you're crazy," the Aborigine replied. "How can you say you filmed every native dance if you haven't seen the Butcher Dance?" "Umm. I got a Corroborree on film just the other week. Is that what you mean?" "No, no. The Butcher Dance is much more important than the Corroborree." "Oh," the man said, his curiosity piqued. "Well how can I see this Butcher Dance then?" "Mate, the Butcher Dance is way out in the wilderness. It'll take you many days of travel to go see it." "Look, I've been everywhere from the forests of the Amazon, to deepest darkest Africa, to the frozen wastes of the Arctic filming these dances. Nothing will prevent me from recording this one last dance." "Ok, mate," the Aborigine replied, shrugging. "You drive north along the highway towards Darwin. After you drive 197 miles, you'll see a dirt track veer off to left. Follow the dirt track for 126 miles till you see big huge dead gum tree -- the biggest tree you've ever seen. Here you gotta leave car, because it's much too rough for driving. You strike out due west into the setting sun. Walk three days till you hit a creek. You follow this creek to the northwest. After two days you'll find where the creek flows out of some rocky mountains, but it's much too difficult to cross the mountains there, though. So you head south for half day until you see a pass through mountains. The pass is very difficult and very dangerous. It'll take you two, maybe three days to get through it. On the other side, head northwest for four days until you reach a big huge rock -- twenty feet high and shaped like a man's head. From the rock, walk due west for two days, and then you'll find the village. You'll be able to see the Butcher Dance there." <><><>

So the guy grabbed his camera crew and equipment and headed out. After a couple of hours, he found the dirt track. The track was in a shocking state, and he was forced to crawl along at a snail's pace, and so he didn't reach the tree until dusk, where he was forced to set up camp for the night. He set out bright and early the following morning. His spirits were high, and he was excited about the prospect of capturing on film this mysterious dance that he had never heard mention of before. True to the directions he had been given, he reached the creek after three days and followed it for another two, until he reached the rocky mountains. The merciless sun was starting to take its toll, and the spirits of both himself and his crew were starting to flag; but wearily they trudged on, finally finding the pass through the mountains. Nothing would prevent him from completing his life's dream. The mountains proved to be every bit as treacherous as their guide had said, and at times they despaired of ever getting their bulky equipment through. But after three and a half days of back breaking effort, they finally forced their way clear and continued their long trek. When they reached the huge rock, four days later, their water was running low, and their feet were covered with blisters, but they steeled themselves and headed out on the last leg of their journey. Two days later they virtually staggered into the village. To their relief, the natives welcomed them and fed them and gave them fresh water, and they began to feel like new men. Once he recovered enough, the guy went before the village chief and told him that he came to film their Butcher Dance.

<><><>

"Oh mate," he said. "Very bad you come today. Butcher Dance last night. You too late. You miss dance." "Well, when do you hold the next dance?" "Not till next year." "Well, I've come all this way. Couldn't you just hold an extra dance for me tonight?" "No, no, no!" the chief exclaimed. "Butcher Dance very holy. Only hold once a year. You want see Butcher Dance, you come back next year." Understandably, the guy was devastated, but he had no other option but to head back to civilization and back home. The following year, he headed back to Australia and, determined not to miss out again, set out a week earlier than before. He was quite willing to spend a week in the village before the dance is performed in order to ensure he was present to witness it. But right from the start, things went wrong. Heavy rains that year turned the dirt track to mud, and the car got bogged down every few miles. Finally they had to abandon their vehicles and slog through the mud on foot almost half the distance to the tree. They reached the creek and the mountains without any further problems, but halfway through the mountain pass, they were struck by a fierce storm that raged for several days, during which they were forced to cling forlornly to the mountainside until it subsided. Then, before they had traveled a mile out from the mountains, one of the crew sprained his ankle badly, slowing down the rest of their journey greatly. Eventually, having lost all sense of how long they had been traveling, they staggered into the village right at noon. "The Butcher Dance!" the man gasped. "Please don't tell me I'm too late to see it!" The chief recognized him and said, "No, white fella. Butcher Dance performed tonight. You come just in time."

<><><>

Relieved beyond measure, the crew spent the rest of the afternoon setting up their equipment and preparing to capture the night's ritual on celluloid. As dusk fell, the natives started to cover their bodies in white paint and adorn themselves in all manner of birds' feathers and animal skins. Once darkness had settled fully over the land, the natives formed a circle around a huge roaring fire. A deathly hush descended over performers and spectators alike as a wizened old figure with elaborate swirling designs covering his entire body entered the circle and began to chant. "What's he doing?" the man whispered to the chief. "Hush," the chief whispered back. "You first white man ever to see most sacred of our rituals. Must remain silent. Holy man, he asks that the spirits of the dream world watch as we demonstrate our devotion to them through our dance, and, if they like our dancing, will they be so gracious as to watch over us and protect us for another year." The chanting of the holy man reached a stunning crescendo before he removed himself from the circle. The rhythmic pounding of drums boomed out across the land, and the natives began to sway to the stirring rhythm. The guy became caught up in the fervor of the moment himself. This was it. He realized beyond all doubt that his wait had not been in vain. He was about to witness the ultimate performance of rhythm and movement ever conceived by mankind.

<><><> The chief strode to his position in the circle and, in a big booming voice, started to sing: "You butch yer right arm in. You butch yer right arm out. You butch yer right arm in, and you shake it all about....

<><><><><> It is a long one , but I thought it was funny. <><><><>

<><> I found this is the local paper and laughed. <><>

Some questions asked of technical support personel

about computer problems. . . . . .

Tech support –What kind of computer do you have?

Customer _ A white one.

Customer – Hi this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.

Tech support – Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer – Yes, sure, but it’s really stuck.

Tech Support –That doesn’t sound good. I’ll make a note.

Customer – No, wait a minute. . . I hadn’t inserted it yet. . .

it’s still on my desk . . . Sorry . . . .

Tech Support – Click on my computer icon on the left of screen

Customer – Your left or my left?

Tech Support – Good day, how may I help you?

Male customer – Hello . . . I can’t print.

Tech support – Would you click on “start” for me and . . .

Customer – Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me.

I’m not Bill Gates.

Customer – Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha.. I can’t print.

Every time I try, it says “Can’t find printer”. I have even lifted

the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer

still says he can’t find it. . .

Customer - I have problems printing in red . . .

Tech support – Do you have a colour printer?

Customer – Aaah . . . thank you.

Tech support – What is on your monitor now, ma’am?

Customer – A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me.

Customer – I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen

saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse

it disappears.

Tech support – How may I help you ?

Customer – I’m writing my first e-mail.

Tech support – OK, what seems to be the problem?

Customer – Well I have the “a” in the address, but how do I

get the circle around it ?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem

with her printer.

Tech support - Are you running it under Windows?

Customer – No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good

point. The man in the next cubicle next to me is under the

window, and his printer is working fine.

Tech support – Okay Bob, let’s press the control key and escape keys at the same time.That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.

Customer – I don’t have a P.

Tech support – On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer – What do you mean?

Tech support – “P” . . . on your keyboard, Bob.

Ccustomer – I’m not going to do that !!!

<><><><> I hope you got a few laughs folks. <><><><>

<><><> Just a few thoughts. <><><>

The secret of making something work in your lives is first of

all, the deep desire to make it work; then the faith and belief

that it can work; then to hold clear definite vision in your

consciousness and see it working out step by step, without one

thought of doubt or disbelief. –Eileen Caddy.

<><> Believe nothing of what you hear, and only half of what

you see. --Proverb.

<><> Believe in the best, think your best, study your best, have

a goal for your best, never be satisfied with less than your

best, try your best and in the long run things will turn out

for the best. – Henry Ford.

<><> Good, better, best,

May you never rest,

Until your good is better,

And your better best. Anonymous.

Cheerio for now, Take care of each other, Merle.

<><><><><><><>

On Youth.

Hi Everyone ~~ It is Sunday evening here so my

weekend is over. I have had a quiet day, made the

potato cakes and hamburgers. The former need

to be cooked slowly or they burn (as I found ! )

I hope that you are all having a great weekend

and the weather is not too unpleasant for you.

As usual, my footy team, Carlton lost again. I

sure hope they do better next year !!

<><><><><>

<><><><> On Youth <><><><>

Youth is not entirely a time of life --- it is a state

of mind. It is not wholly a matter of ripe cheeks, red

lips or supple knees. It is a temper of will, a quality

of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions.

<><><>

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years.

People grow old only by deserting their ideals. You are

as young as your faith, as old as your doubt, as young

as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young

as your hope, as old as your despair.

<><><>

In the central place of every heart, there is a recording

chamber, so long as it receives messages of beauty and

hope, cheer and courage, you are young.

<><><>

When the wires are all down and your heart is covered

with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism,

then and only then have you grown old.

<><><><><>

<><><> Now for a joke or two <><><>

A husband and a wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage.

The counselor asks them what the problem is, and the wife goes into

a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years

they've been married. She goes on and on. Finally, the counselor gets

up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up, and sits quietly in a daze. The counselor turns to

the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs at least three times

a week. Can you do this?" The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off

here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays I golf."

<><><><>

<><><> Unanswered Questions <><><>

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around

several times, does he become disoriented ?

<><><>

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people

from Holland called Holes ?

<><><>

Why do we say something is out of whack? What’s a whack?

<><><>

If a pig loses his voice, is it disgruntled ?

<><><>

When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say ?

<><><>

Why is a person who plays piano called a pianist, but a

person who drives a race-car not called a racist ?

<><><>

Why are a wise man and a wise guy Opposites ?

<><><>

“I am” is the shortest sentence in the English language

Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence ?

<><><>

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,

doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted,

musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed

tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed ?

<><><>

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licence of

bald men ?

<><><>

If it is true we are here to help others, then what exactly

are the others here for ?

<><><>

I was thinking about how people read the Bible a whole

lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me. . . . they’re

cramming for their final exam.

<><><>

No one ever says, “It’s only a game”, when their team is

winning.

<><><>

Ever wondered what the speed of lightning would be if it

didn’t zig-zag ?

<><><><><><><>

<><><> Some thoughts <><><>

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling

passes.

<><><>

With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.

<><><>

Without health you cannot enjoy wealth and happiness.

<><><>

Your boss will always be early when you are late and late when

you are early.

<><><>

Youth and skill are no match for age and cunning.

<><><>

<><><> Bye for now, Take care, I’ll be back !! Merle. <><><>

<><><><><><>

You and Yourself.

Hello again Everyone ~~ Another nice day here , hoping you had the

same. I did some washing, and even pulled a few weeds (very few)

and then watched Geelong beat Sydney in the football. Tonight I will

watch Fremantle play St Kilda. I know the coach of Freo as his

family used to live next door to us in Nathalia. Chris now lives way

over in Western Australia., but when he started school my two girls

used to take him to school as they were a bit older. In spite of this,

I would like to see the Saints win. (A Victorian team). Carlton play

tomorrow and I will have to listen to it on the radio, as there is no

TV coverage. My friend Val will barrack hard for us I’m sure.

<><><><>

<><> You and Yourself <><>

It is rewarding to find someone whom you like, but it is essential to

like yourself.

<><>

It is quickening to recognize someone as a good and decent human being,

but it is indispensable to view yourself as acceptable.

<><>

It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect, admiration,

and love, but it is vital to believe yourself deserving of these things.

<><>

For you cannot live in someone else. You cannot find yourself in someone

else. You cannot be given a life by someone else.

Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will

never leave nor lose.

<><>

To the question of your life, you are the only answer.

To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.

<><><><><>

<><> Now for some jokes that my friend Pea sent to me. <><>

Thanks Carole in Canada.

The Water Pistol

When my 3 year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother and

found a water pistol, he squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.

I was not so pleased. I turned to mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't

you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"

Mom smiled and then replied, "I remember."

*******

Sunburn...

A guy falls asleep on the beach for several

hours and gets a horrible sunburn.

He goes to the hospital, and is promptly

admitted after being diagnosed with

second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister,

and the severe pain he was in, the doctor

prescribes continuous intravenous feeding

with saline, electrolytes, a sedative,

and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse, who is rather astounded, says,

"What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?

The doctor replied,

"It'll keep the sheets off his legs."

**************

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the

husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she

sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drink right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!", says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?

<><><><><>

<><> Some funny ones there, I liked the last one best. <><>

<><> One Hundred Years From Now. <><>

One hundred years from now

It won’t matter

What kind of care I drove

What kind of house I lived in

How much money I had in the bank

Nor what my clothes looked like

BUT

The world may be a little better

Because, I was important

In the life of a child. Author unknown.

<><><> And some thoughts for you <><><>

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re

aboard, there is nothing you can do. You can’t stop the plane,

you can’t stop the storm, you can’t stop time. So one might as

well accept it calmly and wisely. --- Golda Meir.

<><><>

Grey hair is great. Ask any bald man. –Lee Trevino.

<><><>

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is

because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the

music which he hears, however measured or far away.

---Henry David Thoreau.

<><><>

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine

when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true

beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.

--- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

Bye for now, ‘till next time, Take care my friends, Merle.

<><><><>

Blonde Cookbook.

Hello my Friends ~~ Well how quickly the weeks go by, as it

is Friday again. I trust that all is well with you all and the world

is treating you well. I cannot complain, (well I can and do, but

wont here) as all is well with my part of the world.

I found an easy recipe that you may like. Or not !!

<><><>

<><><> Cheese and Potato Cakes. <><><>

2 cups of mashed potato

1 cup grated cheese

3 tablespns of melted butter or Margarine

2 beaten eggs

½ cup of flour Salt and pepper (I add a little chopped onion)

Mash the potatos and add melted butter, cheese and salt/pepper

and the 2 beaten eggs. Add flour. Shape into cakes (patties ?)

Dip in breadcrumbs and fry about 15 minutes in a little hot oil.

These would be nice with salad, and not much trouble.

<><><><>

In keeping with the recipes on Fridays, my son sent me these

Blonde Recipes jokes. Enjoy.

Blonde Cookbook! MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake.

The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice

enough to loan me some extra bowls.

<><><> TUESDAY: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve

without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought

a friend home for supper

<><><> . WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly

before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway.

I can't say it improved the rice any.

<><><> THURSDAY: Today Tom asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It

said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.

Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.

<><><> FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in

a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe.

When I got back, everything was the same as when I left

<><><> SATURDAY: Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken.

He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Tom keeps

counting to ten.

<><><>

SUNDAY: Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had

was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the

oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my

disappointment.

<><><> GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am

eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can

talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with

chocolate moose.

<><><><><><>

<><><> The Senility Prayer <><><>

Grant me the Senility to forget the People I never liked.

the good fortune to run into the People I do like.

And the eyesight to Tell the Difference.

<><><><>

<><> 25 Pun and Games with Words. <><>

1. PESSIMIST’s blood type is always B-negative

2. HANGOVER is the wrath of grapes.

3. A SUCCESSFUL diet is the triumph of mind over matter.

4. A GOSSIP is someone with a great sense of rumour.

5. A CHICKEN crossing the road is poetry in motion.

6. A BOILED egg in the morning is hard to beat.

7. A PLATEAU is a high form of flattery.

8. CORDUROY pillows are making headlines.

9. ACUPUNCTURE is a jab well done.

10. EVERY Calendar’s days are numbered.

11. DOES the name Pavlov ring a bell.

12. WHAT’S the definition of a will? A dead giveaway.

13. SHIP’S captains don’t like crew cuts.

14. ENERGIZER Bunny arrested for battery.

15. DI JON VU the same mustard as before.

16. WHEN two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

17. WHEN a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

18. WHEN you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.

19. WHEN an actor saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought

she’d dye.

20. READING while sunbathing makes you well red.

21. WITH her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

22. WITHOUT geometry, life would be pointless.

23. A MAN’S home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

24. A BICYCLE can’s stand on it’s own because it is two tyred.

25. IN democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.

<><><><><>

<><><> And a few thoughts. <><><>

To achieve great things we must live as though we were never

going to die. – Luc de Clapiers. French writer.

Do what you can with what you have, where you are.

--- Theodore Roosevelt.

Those who say a thing cannot be done should not stand in the way

of those who are doing it. Anon.

I prefer old age to the alternative. – Maurice Chevalier.

As a white candle in a Holy place,

So is the beauty of an old face. – Joseph Campwell.

<><>

Bye for now my friends, Have a great weekend, Merle.

<><><><>

Dirty Dishes.

Howdy Friends ~~ We are having some lovely weather

here at present and there are signs that Spring is on

it’s way. A few blossom trees around and the yellow

wattle trees everywhere.

I hope that as our Winter is leaving us, that the very

hot weather of the Northern Summer is easing up some.

I know it has been very trying for many of you.

<><><><>

<><><> A litle ditty called “Dirty Dishes” <><><>

Thank God for dirty dishes . . . .

They have a story to tell;

And by the stack I have, it seems that

We are living very well.

And whilst people of other countries starve

I haven’t the heart to fuss . . . .

For by this stack of evidence,

God’s awfully good to us !!

<><><><>

<><><> What is a Politician ? <><><>

The politician stands upright and straightens

up his tie and says: “My friends, unless it rains,

the weather will be dry.”

And when this thought into our brains has

percolated through, we common people nod our

heads and loudly cry, “How true !”

<><><>

The politician looks around, clears his august

throat and says, “The ship will never sink so long

as it’s afloat !”

Wherat we roll our solemn eyes, applaud with

main and might, and slap each other on the back,

while we say, “He’s right !”

<><><>

The politician waxes stern, his drone becomes a

roar. He yells, “I say to you, my friends, that two

and two make four !”

And thereupon our doubts dissolve, our fears are

put to rout, and we agree that here’s a man who

knows what he’s about.

<><><> Frightening isn’t it ? <><><>

And another joke from the newspaper.

Noah Webster and his secretary were spending

a great deal of time together working on the

latest Webster’s Dictionary.

After one very long tiring day, Noah suggested

to his attractive young secreyary, that they take

a break and rest on he lounge.

Noah, grateful for his secretary’s hard work,

slipped an arm around her waist and planted a little

kiss on her cheek.

Just then the door opened and there stood Mrs.

Webster. “Why Noah,” she exclaimed, I am

surprised,”

“No Martha,” Noah responded, “ You are astonished.

We are surprised.”

<><><><>

<><><> THE PLANE <><><>

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control

of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It is the

first time they have flown together and an awkward

silence between the two seems to indicate a

mutual dislike.

<><><>

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain

activates the auto pilot, leans back in his seat, and

mutters, “I don’t like Chinese”

“No rike Chinese?” asks the co-pilot, “why not?”

<><><>

“You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that’s why !”

“No, No,” the co-pilot protests, “Chinese not bomb

Pearl Harbor. That was Japanese, not Chinese.”

“Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese. . . doesn’t matter

You’re all the same.”

<><><>

There is a few minutes of silence. “No rike Jews !”

the co-pilot suddenly announces.

“Why not ?” asks the captain.

“Jews sink the Titanic,” the co-pilot responds.

“Jews didn’t sink the Titanic !” exclaims the captain.

“It was an iceberg !”

<><><>

“Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, no

matter . . . . all same !”

<><><><>

Finally a few thoughts . . . .

You are only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry.

Don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowes along

the way. – Walter Hagen – American golfer.

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny

matters, compared to what lies within us.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson.

God does not ask about your ability.

He asks about your availability. Anonymous.

If you can walk

You can dance.

If you can talk

You can sing. Traditional Zimbabwe.

Achieving starts with believing. Anon.

Bye for now, Take care of each other, Merle.

<><><><>

My Wish for You.

Hello my friends ~~ Here we go again with not

a clue what to post at the moment, so I will

have to look through a book or two to see what

I can come up with. I cooked a chicken in the

microwave today and roasted lot of vegetables

and dished up 9 dinners, so it’s good to sit down.

<><><><>

<><><> My Wish For You. <><><>

MAY YOU HAVE . . . .

Enough happiness to keep you sweet,

Enough trials to keep you strong,

Enough sorrow to keep you human,

Enough hope to keep you happy

Enough failure to keep you humble,

Enough success to keep you eager,

Enough friends to give you comfort,

Enough wealth to meet your needs,

Enough enthusiasm to look forward,

Enough faith to banish depression,

Enough determination to make each day

better than yesterday and lots of love.

<><><><>

A man met a beautiful woman and he decided

he wanted to marry her right away.

“But we don’t know anything about each other,”

she said. He said that was OK, they would

learn about each other as they went along.

So she agreed and they were married, and went

on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.

<><><>

One morning, they were lazing round the pool, when

he got up, climbed the 10 m board and did a perfect

2 ½ tucks followed by 3 rotations in jack-knife

position, straightened up and cut the water like a

knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back

and lay down on a towel.

“That was incredible !” she said. To which he replied:

“I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told

you we’d learn more about ourselves as we went along.

<><><>

So she jumped in the pool, and started doing laps.

After about 30 laps she climbed out and lay down on her

towel, hardly out of breath.

“That was incredible !” the man said. “Don’t tell me. You

were an Olympic distance swimmer?”

“No,” she said, I was a hooker in Venice and I worked

both sides of the canal.”

<><><><><>

A Red Cross office realised that the organisation had

never received a donation from the town’s most

successful lawyer.

The person in charge of contributions called to persuade

him to contribute.

“Our research shows that, out of a yearly $500,000, you

don’t give a cent to charity,” the Red Cross guy said.

“Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some

way?”. The lawyer mulled this over for a moment before

replying. “First, did your research show that my mother

is very ill and has medical bills several times her annual

income?” the lawyer asked.

<><><>

Embarrassed, the Red Cross rep mumbled: “Um, no.”

The lawyer interrupted, “Or that my disabled brother is

blind and confined to a wheelcair?”

The stricken Red Cross rep began to stammer out an

apology, but was interrupted again. “Or that my sister is

a recent widow, penniless with three children?”

<><><>

The humiliated Red Cross rep, completely beaten, said

simply: “I had no idea.”

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again.

“So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give

any to you?”

<><><><><><>

A smile is good for your health – and the health of others.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

Be grateul when you are feeling good, and graceful when

you’re feeling bad.

Be nice to your children – they choose your nursing home.

<><><><>

<><> Bye for now, ‘till next time, take care, Merle. <><>

It's All Very Funny

Hello to you all ~~ I hope everything is going

well at your place. Today I went to my 3 monthly

check up after having blood tests last week, and

I am happy to say that all is well. Thanks Doc !!

Then my son called in after being away for a long

weekend motor-cycle trip to Clare in Sth.Australia

which he enjoyed and showed me lots of photos.

He did just over 2,000 kilometres in 5 days.

<><><><>

<><><> IT’S ALL VERY FUNNY. <><><>

It’s rather strange that shoes have tongues

But never seem to talk;

And though a chair has four strong legs,

I’ve never seen one walk.

And have you heard a dog-fish growl?

Or a dandelion roar?

Or seen a tiger-lily prowl

Or a cat-fish miaow before?

I think a window must be sad,

For it always has a pane,

And are crossroads always grumpy?

And can a sugar-cane?

Although my legs have two fine calves,

I’ve never heard them moo,

Nor heard the bark upon a tree

Go “bow-wow-wow” – have you?

An elephant can swing his trunk,

But have you seen him pack it?

And would a whiting be a whiting

Should you ever chance to black it?

A river always has a bank,

But never any money. . . .

Oh dear, oh dear, it’s all so queer

That things should be so funny.

<><><><><>

Where in the company do you belong?

Take the prospective employees you are trying

to place and put them in a room with only a table

and two chairs. Leave them alone for 2 hours,

without any instruction. At the end of that time

go back and see what they are doing.

<><><><>

IF they have taken the table apart, put them in

Engineering.

IF they are counting the butts in the ashtray,

assign them to Finance.

IF they are waving their arms about and talking

loud, send them to Consulting.

IF they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a

good spot for them.

IF they are wearing green sunglasses and need a

haircut, Computer Information Systems is their

niche.

IF the room has a sweaty odor, perhaps they are

destined for the Help Desk.

IF they mention what a good price we got for the

table and chairs, put them into Purchasing.

IF they mention that hardwood furniture does not

come from rainforests, Public Relations for them.

IF they are sleeping, they are Management material.

IF they are writing up the experience, send them to

the Technical Documents team.

IF they don’t even look up when you enter the room,

assign them to Security.

IF they try to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, send

them to Marketing. <><><>

<<< style=""> A JOKE CALLED THE TEAPOT>>>

George was fixing the front door and he found

that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife

Louise to the hardwear store.

At the hardware store Louise saw a beautiful

teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for

Henry, the manager, to finish waiting on another

customer. When he was finished, Louise asked

“How much for the teapot?”

<><>

Henry replied. “That’s real silver and it is $500.”

<><>

“My goodness, that sure is a lot of money!” Louise

exclaimed. Then she proceeded to describe the

hinge that George wanted. Henry went to the back

room to find it.

<><>

From the back room Henry yelled, “Louise do you

wanna screw for that hinge?”

<><>

Louise hollered back, “Well, no. . . but I will for that

teapot !!”

<><><> Let’s finish on a nicer note <><><>

If I have brought a gleam of light

To cheer a darkened day,

If I held out a friendly hand

To help along the way.

Then in these acts of kindness done

It is not me you see,

But glimpses of that Loving One

Who chose to dwell in me.

<><> Bye for now, Take care Merle. <><>

I Must go Shopping.

Good Evening / Morning my Friends. Back again to see

what I can find to post for you. Thanks to all who left

comments about the chocolate rules and the football.

Thank you to Kate who suggested I go for West Coast.

Girl, I am a Victorian and faithful Blues supporter !!

My son supports the Eagles.

<><><><>

<><><> A story called I Must Go Shopping. <><><>

One of these days I must go shopping. I am completely

out of generosity, and I must get some more. I also

want to exchange the self-satisfaction I picked up the

other day for some real humility, which they say wears

better. And I must look at some tolerance, which I hope

will be worn as a wrap this season. And the examples of

kindness I saw, well, I am a little low on that, and one can

never have too much of it.

<><><>

And by the way, I must try to match some of the patience

I saw on a friend the other day. It looked very becoming

on her, and I think it might look equally well on me.

<><><>

And while I am shopping I will try on that little garment

of perfect charity they’re displaying, and I must remember

to get my sense of humour mended, and keep my eyes open

for some inexpensive goodness. It is surprising how quickly

one’s stock of goods is depleted. Yes I must go shopping !!

<><><><><>

<><><> A Quickie called MY FACE. <><><>

As a beauty, I’m not a star,

There are others more handsome, by far,

But my face, I don’t mind it

Because I am behind it . . . .

The people in front get the jar !!

<><><><>

To all the Kids Who Survived the 30s, 40s, 50s 60s and 70s.

First we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or

drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese

dressing and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

<><><>

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright

colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on mediciqne

bottles, doors or cabinets.

<><><>

When we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the

risks we took hitch-hiking. As children we would ride in cars with

no seat belts or air bags. We drank water from the garden hose

and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four

friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

<><><>

We ate cupcakes, bread and butter and drank cordial with sugar in

it, but we weren’t overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUT-

SIDE PLAYING. We would leave home in the morning and play all

day as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

<><><>

We would spend hours bulding our go-carts out of scraps and then

ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After

running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendos, X-boxes, no video games

at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround

sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or

Internet chat rooms…… WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside

and found them.

<><><>

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there

were no lawsuits from these accidents.. We made up games with

sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told

it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did worms

live in us forever. We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house

and knocked on the door, or rang the bell, or just walked in and

talked to them! No reason to be afraid of strangers.

<><><>

Sports had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who

didn’t had to learn to deal with the disappointment. Imagine that !!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law ! This generation has produced some

of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever !!

<><><>

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL !!

Are You one of them? CONGRATULATIONS !!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to

grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated

our lives for our own good.

Kind of makes you wany to run through the house with scissors,

doesn’t it ??

<><><><><><>

<><><><> A joke to end this post <><><><>

An old farmer in Far North Queensland had owned a large farm for

several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice, picnic

tables and some apple and pear trees planted around it. The pond

was fixed up for swimming when it was built.

<><><>

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he

hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to

bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices

shouting and laughing with glee.

<><><>

As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-

dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and

they all went to the deep end of the ond. One woman shouted to

him, “We’re not coming out until you leave.”

<><><>

The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies

swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.”

Holding up the bucket he said, “I’m here to feed the crocodiles.”

<><><>

Moral : Old age and cunning will triumph over youth and enthusiasm

every time. <><><> Bye for now, take care, Merle. <><><>

A Terrible Moment.

Hi Everyone ~~ Well my weekend is over as it’s Sunday

evening and it has been quite a nice couple of days. BUT

My football team, Carlton could not win - AGAIN !!

Thank Goodness there is more to life than football, but

it is a major source of entertainment. And disappointment.

There is always next year !!

<><><>

<><><> A story tonight called A Terrible Moment. <><><>

Her hair was in wild disorder. Her face was flushed, and her eyes flashing. She clenched and unclenched her fingers in

an agony of despair.

<><><>

Unless her looks belied her, she was a deeply injured and

desperate woman. Her indignation and anger were allied with

keen despondency.

“Cruel one; oh cruel one,” she cried, in anguished tones.

“I have borne with you too long ! You have injured me, you

have tortured me, and yet I could not bear to give you up.

When first we met,” she continued, “how your ease and

polish attracted me ! When you became my very own, how

my friends envied me ! But your understanding is too small

for my large soul. You have ruined my standing in society.

If we had never met, I might have walked in peace. So now

begone ! We part for ever ! ”

<><><>

There came a moment’s compulsive breathing, a gritting of

teeth and a sharp cry. It was all over. By an almost super-

human effort, she had pulled off her new shoes.

<><><><>

<><><> Indeed – A Terrible Moment. <><><>

<><><>

Ever bought a new product and couldn’t quite understand

what all the advertising terms meant. We are here to help.

<><>

NEW – Different color from previous design

ALL NEW – Parts not interchangeable with previous design.

ADVANCED DESIGN – The advertising agency doesn’t

understand it.

EXCLUSIVE – Imported Product.

UNMATCHED – Almost as good as the competition.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION – No provision for adjustments.

IT’S HERE AT LAST – Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

FIELD TESTED –Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

HIGH ACCURACY – Unit on which all parts fit.

FUTURISTIC – No other reason why it looks the way it does

REDESIGNED – Previous flaws fixed – we hope.

DIRECT SALES ONLY – Factory had a big argument with

the distributor.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – We finally got one to work.

BREAKTHROUGH – We finally figured out a use for it.

MAINTENANCE FREE – Impossible to fix.

MEETS ALL STANDARDS = Ours, not yours.

SOLID STATE – Heavy as anything.

HIGH RELIABILITY – We made it work long enough to ship it.

<><><><><><>

<><><> 10 Chocolate Rules. <><><>

1. If you’ve got chocolate on your hands, you’re eating it

too slowly.

2. Chocolate covered sultanas, cherries, orange slices and

strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

3. The problem: How to get 2 blocks of chacolate home from

the shop in a hot car. Solution: Eat it in the car park.

4. Diet Tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It will take

the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

5. If calories are an issue, store your chocolates on top of

the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights and they will

jump out to protect themselves.

6. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white

chocolate. This equates to a balanced diet.

7. Money talks. Chocolate sings.

8. Chocolates have many preservatives. Preservatives make

you look younger.

9. Question: Why is there no such organization as Chocolates

Anonymous? Answer. Because no one wants to quit.

10. Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do.

That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

<><><> And lastly a quote …. <><><>

Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should

relax and get used to the idea !!!

<><> That is it Folks. I’ll be back, Merle. <><>

<><><><><><>

LIFE

Howdy Folks ~~ I’m back again !! It has been a nice day

here today about 17 degrees AND tomorrow we expect

19. How good is that ? And instead of being out in it I

will be watching Carlton try to win against Hawthorn.

Hopefully, we will get other nice days to enjoy.

<><><><>A small Poem called LIFE. <><><><>

At five I believed in the fairies’ spell,

At ten I believed in heaven and –- well,

At fifteen ‘twas sport and call of adventure’

At twenty, romance was my favourite venture.

Twenty-five brought marriage, with the mate of my choice.

At thirty, with children, I near lost my voice,

Thirty-five brought dawning of wisdom and wrinkle,

What’s to come later, I haven’t an inkle.

But believe in yourself and not all you hear

And from what Granny tells me,

You’ll have nothing to fear.

<><><><>

Some unusual very Punny Stories.

1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two

dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at them

and says, “I’m sorry gentlemen, only one carrion

allowed per passenger.”

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went

to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other

stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted

to much. The second one, naturally , became known as

the lesser of two weevils.

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when

they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again

that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

4. A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.

He sidles up to the bar and announces: “I;m looking

for the man who shot my paw.”

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused

Novocain during root canal. He wanted to transcend

dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and

were standing in the lobby discussing their recent

tournament victories. After an hour, the manager came

out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?”

they asked as they moved off. “Because,” he said, “I

can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One

of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal.

The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan.

Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth

mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband

that she wishes she had a picture of Amal. He responds,

“They’re twins ! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

8. There was a woman who sent ten different puns to friends,

in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them

laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

<><><> New Inventions made by Blondes. <><><>

The water-proof towel

Glow in the dark sunglasses

Solar powered flashlights

Submarine screen doors

A book on how to read

Inflatable dart boards

A dictionary index

Pen sharpeners

Powdered water

Pedal-powered wheel chairs

Waterproof tea bags

Zero proof alcohol

Reusable ice cubes

Skinless bananas

Do-it-yourself road map

Toe implants

An all white flag

Rolls Royce pick-up truck

Helicopter Ejecter Seat

<><><><> GERMs OF TRUTH. <><><><>

What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have not

yet been discovered. Ralph Waldo Emerson.

<><><>

A man should never plant a garden larger than his

wife can take care of. T. H. Everett.

<><><>

God made rainy days so gardeners could get the

housework done. Unknown.

<><><>

Give weeds an inch and they’ll take your yard. Anon.

<><><>

We can complain because rose bushes have

thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln.

<><><>

Gardening requires a lot of water --- most of it in the

form of perspiration. Lou Erickson.

<><><>

Gardens are not made by sitting in the shade.

Rudyard Kipling.

<><><>

One of the worst mistakes you can make as a gardener

is to think you’re in charge. Janet Gillespie.

<><><> Bye for now, Have a great weekend, Merle. <><><>

There isn't Time.

Hello My Friends ~~ The end of another week here

and all is well. I hope everything is going well for

you folks. I haven’t really got a recipe tonight, but

last night, I cut up 4 large chicken breasts, and cut

up 2 onions, and put these and a large can chicken &

corn soup plus more water. I cut up 2 carrots and

3 stalks of celery, and some bell pepper (capsicum)

and added some frozen peas and frozen corn..

All of the above, plus salt and pepper went into the

crockpot. This morning I made dumplings to go on top.

2 good tablespns of butter or marge, 2 cups Self-

raising flour and milk to make a dough. I used a scone

cutter and made nice rounds, which I put in top of the

crockpot and they cooked in about ½ hour (while the

casserole was hot). Then cooked heaps of vegies to go

with it. So no more cooking for a couple of days at

least. So that’s my Friday recipe. Ok ?

<><><><><>

<><> a Poem called “There isn’t Time”. <><>

There isn’t time in life – there isn’t time

To fret about each petty ill or wrong !

You’ll find folks love you better when you smile;

They do not want your frown – they want your song.

<><><><>

And when folks love you better, all the world

Grows brighter and more beautiful each day

The fret and worry of the common task,

Before a friend’s warm smile, will fade away.

<><><><>

There isn’t time for anger or for strife –

Your bitter word a deadly thing may prove;

There isn’t time in life – there isn’t time

For anything but courage, hope and love.!!

<><><><><>

The King and His Four Wives

----------------------------------------------------- Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best.

<><>

He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to

neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave

him for another.

<><>

He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and was always kind,

considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he

could confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult times.

<><> The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions

in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife

Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her!

<><> One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his

luxurious life and wondered, "I now have four wives with me, but when I die,

I'll be all alone." Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most,

endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now

that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walked away without another word.

<><> Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart. The sad King then asked

the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow

me and keep me company?" "No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to

remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold.

<><> He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've

always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave." Her answer struck him like a bolt of

lightning, and the King was devastated.

<><> Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was very skinny as she

suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should

have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"

<><> In truth, we all have 4 wives in our lives: Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it will leave us when we die. Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others. Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

<><> And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of us that will follow us to the throne of God and continue with us throughout Eternity.

<><><> Thought for the day: Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees,

you're in the perfect position to pray.

<><><><>

<><><> Another Blonde Joke <><><>

This blonde was sick and tired of all these blonde jokes.

She wanted to show her husband that blondes were smart.

She decided to paint a couple of rooms in the house while

he was at work.

<><><>

The next day, right after her husband left for work, she

got down to the job.

Hubby arrived home that evening and smelled the distinctive

aroma of fresh paint.

He walked into the living room and found his wife lying on

the floor in a pool of sweat.

He noticed she was wearing a ski-parka and a leather jacket

at the same time. He asked if she was all right.

<><><>

She said she was, so he asked what she thought she was doing.

She told him how she wanted to disprove the blondes were

dumb theory by painting the house.

Then he asked why she had a parka on over er leather jacket.

<><><>

She just pointed to the instructions on the can of paint, where

it said : “For best results, put on two coats.”

<><><><> Some thoughts for you. <><><><>

Generous is the man who gives of his wealth,

but wise is the man who gives of his heart

<><><><>

Open your eyes and see those things which are

around us at this hour. –Richard Jefferies.

<><><><>

The happiest moments of my life have been the few

which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family.

--- Thomas Jefferson.

<><><><>

The rules of a friendship are simple and true. Do unto

your friends as you’d have them do.

<><><><>

Well that is my little effort for tonight. Cheers, Merle.

<><><><><><><><>

Life 's Adventure.

Hello Everyone ~~ Just a quickie tonight as I had

a long phone call that held me up, although it was

nice to catch up with an old friend fom way back.

And then I cut up chicken and vegetables and

put all in the crockpot with a can of soup, so I am

quite late starting tonight. I hope blogger is being

co-operative and that will help a lot.

<><><><>

<><><><> LIFE’S ADVENTURE. <><><><>

What a happy adventure is life,

If we remember to view it that way,

And avoid, as we go, both dangers and strife,

As we make the very best of each day.

<><><>

If we pile up a record of deeds

That makes happy our neighbor as well,

If we introduce light where it’s dark,

And fear that torments, we dispel.

<><><>

If we radiate love from the heart,

And give every moment it’s fill,

Then it’s true, without shadow of doubt,

That life is a glorious thrill.

<><><><><>

The next item was sent to me by Sue

who is a blogging friend.

<><><>

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the

entertainment community.  



The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast

infection and trauma complications from repeated 

pokes in the belly.  He was 71 years old.

 

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

 

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their

respects, including Mrs.Butterworth, Hungry Jack,

 and the California raisins, Betty Crocker, the 

Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.



The grave site was piled high with flours.  Aunt

Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly

 described Doughboy as a man who never know how

 mch he  was kneaded.

 

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his

 later life was filled with turnovers.  He was not

 considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of 

his dough on half-baked schemes.  Despite being a

little flakiy at times he was still a crusty old

man and was considered a roll model for millions. 

 

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two

children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had 

one in the oven.  He is also survived by his 

elderly dad, Pop Tart.



The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

 

If tihis made you smile for even a brief second,

please take the time to  pass it on and share that 

smile with someone else that kneads it!!!

Have a Nice Day.  Quite clever !!

<><><><>

The Indian chief, Two Dogs, was asked how his wife

came to be named Three Horses.

He explained that it was a Traditional old Indian

name, which translates into NAG NAG NAG.

<><><><>

What does one call a male  Ladybird ?

<><><>

Then there was the dachshund who was wandering in

the park, when he came upon as tree.  He begins to

walk around the tree –round and round – until

finally, he met his end,

<><><><>

So live your life at home, that you need not coach the

children in good manners when they leave for a party.

<><><><>

Life is like a grindstone – whether it grinds a man down

or polishes him up, depends entirely on the material

he’s made from. 

<><><>  Goodnight from me, Take care, Merle. <><><>

Grandmas.

Hello ~~ It’s Me Again Margaret - The title of a great

Ray Stevens’ song. I hope all is well, all OK here. Well

today I went to the hairdresser by taxi and she permed

my hair which was long and terrible; now it is short and

looking much better. And no-one to see and nowhere to go !!

<><><>

Last night in Australia we had a Census form to fill out

and now wait to have them collected. I guess most of your

countries have them also. They work out where to build

schools, hospitals etc and count us every 5 years.

<><><><>

<><><> What is a Grandma ? <><><>

A grandmother is a lady who has no children of her own, so

she likes other people’s little girls.

(A Grandfather is a man Grandmother. He goes for walks

with the boys, and they talk fishing and things like that.)

<><><>

Grandmas don’t have anything to do except be there. It is

enough if they drive us to the supermarket where the

pretend horse is, and have lots of coins ready. Or if they

take us for walks, they slow down past pretty leaves and

caterpillars. They never say “Hurry Up.”

<><><>

Usually they are plump, but not too plump to tie kid’s shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear. They don’t have to

be smart, only answer questions like why dogs hate cats, and

how come God isn’t married.

<><><>

They don’t talk visitors’ talk like visitors do, because it is hard

to understand. When they read to us, they don’t skip words,

or mind if it is the same story again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, because they

are the only grown-ups who have time.

<><><><><><>

<><><><> Joke of the Day <><><><>

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York

City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of

how the store operates. You may only visit the store once.

<><><>

There are 6 floors and the attributes of the men increase as

the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch you may choose any man from a

particular floor or you may choose to go up a floor, but you

cannot go back down, except to exit e building.

<><><>

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign reads : Floor 1 --These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads : Floor 2 --These men have jobs and

love kids.

The third floor sign reads : Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love

kids and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” the woman thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

The sign reads : Floor 4 –These men ave jobs, love kids, are

drop dead good looking and helps with the housework.

<><><>

“Oh, my God !” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it.”

Still she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads “ Floor 5 –

These men have jobs, love kids, are drop dead gorgeous, help

wih the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

<><><>

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6^th floor and

the sign reads – Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to

this floor. There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible

to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

<><><><><>

<><><> Understanding Advertising Slogans. <><><>

A number of different approaches are being tried.

Translation – We are still grasping at straws.

Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured.

Translation – We are so far behind schedule the

customer should be happy just to get it delivered.

Test results were extremely gratifying.

Translation – We were so surprised the stupid thing worked.

The entire concept will have to be abandoned.

Translation -The only person who understood the thing quit.

We’ll look into it.

Translation – Forget it, we have enough problems for now.

Please read and initial.

Translation – Let’s spread the responsibility around for the

mistakes.

Rugged.

Translation – Too heavy to lift,

Lightweight.

Translation – Lighter than rugged.

Energy saving.

Translation – When the power switch is off.

<><><><><>

<><><> A Thought to Finish <><><>

Offering hope to others through a loving word, a thoughtful

act, or a simple smile is the surest way to lift your own spirit.

---- Lain Chroust Ehmann.

<><><> Bye till next time. Take care friends, Merle. <><><>

Never Alone.

Howdy Friends ~~ Here we are again. The shopping is all

put awayand so the cupboards are all stocked up again. I

am determined to always forget something and today it was

the very necessary Paracetamol which I need every day to

get through each day. However I try to stay ahead of most

things so I will have enough.

I bought a nice card to send to my cousin who is very ill with

cancer and I liked the words on it, and hope Kath will also.

It has a heading of “ You are never alone.”

<><><><><>

There’s a wonderful peace in just knowing

that God never leaves us alone,

And whether we feel He is with us or not,

He loves us and calls us His own.

His Word is our hope and our comfort,

A refuge when life brings our way

Those times we need wisdom and guidance

And strength to sustain us each day.

<><><><><>

<> A Short Fun Poem. called Order of the Day <>

“Rise ! ” says my brain to my body.

“To greet this splendid day !

Fling back the quilt with abandon,

Forthwith, without delay !”

<><><>

“Bound out of bed with vigour !”

My brain is quick to decree ……

While my body burrows down deeper,

And sleepily asks, “Who, ME ???”

<><><><>

<><><> And Some funnies. <><><>

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral.

A huge heart covered with flowers stood behind the

casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the

heart opened, and the casket rolled inside, sealing the

doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

<><><>

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.

When all eyes stared at him, he said, “I’m sorry, I was

just thinking of my own funeral… I’m a gynecologist.”

At that point, the proctologist fainted.

<><><><>

<><><> Exercise for Seniors <><><>

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you

have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5 kg (10lb) potato sack in each hand, extend your

arms straight out from your sides and hold them there

as long as you can. Try to hold for a full minute, then

relax. Each day, you’ll find that you can hold this position

for just a bit longer.

<><><><>

After a couple of weeks, move up to a 10 kg (20lb) sack.

Then 50 kg (100 lb) potato sacks and eventually try to lift

a 100 kg (200lb).

Put a potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight

for more than a full minute.

<><><><>

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each

of the sacks; … but be careful.

<><><><><><>

<><><> Some Thoughts <><><>

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody

else up. – Mark Twain.

<><><>

Those who are generous are blessed for they share their

bread with the poor. – Proverbs 22:9

<><><>

Open your eyes to nature’s many beauties, and your heart

will open to life’s many joys and possibilities.

<><><>

A happy home and family is the source of the greatest

human happiness.

<><><> Bye for now. Take care of each other, Merle. <><><>

<><><> <><><> <><><>

Lifetime Wish.

Hi There Folks ~~ Nice to be back with you again. I hope things

are going well at your places. All OK here, at present. I have

the fortnightly shopping day tomorrow to stock up on all the

things I will need for 2 weeks.

<><><>

Tonight I am posting about a lovely glass framed verse, that

was a gift from my second son, Geoff and his family. It is

called “A Lifetime Wish for You.” I hope you like it as

much as I do.

<><><>

May your blessings be many, your sorrows be few,

And may you find contentment in all that you do

And should you at times face misfortune or ills,

May you always remember to “Look to the Hills”

May your faith in yourself, and your faith in the Lord

Hold fast like an anchor to keep you secured.

<><><>

May you always be ready to reach for a star,

To know where you’re going, and know who you are.

May you have courage to follow your dream,

And recognise when things are not what they seem.

May kindness and thoughtfulness set you apart,

May you be blessed with a compassionate heart.

<><><>

May your thoughts and your actions show love for mankind,

For by thought and by deed is your Karma designed.

May wisdom be yours and, whatever life brings,

May you always see beauty in everyday things.

May you never lose sight of your own highest goal,

May you learn to let go and let God take control.

<><><>

May you always remember the Master is near,

That He knows who you are, and He knows why you’re here.

May you trust Him more fully with each passing day,

Allowing His Guidance to show you the way.

May the Light of all Lights fill your heart, soul and mind,

May your life with His Love be forever entwined.

<><>

May this year and future years be filled with

Love, Light, Learning and Laughter.

--- Jacqueline Ramm.

<><><> Nice one Geoff. <><><>

<><><> And now for some jokes. <><><>

A policeman was walking down the street when he saw a little girl desperately stretching to reach a door knocker.

”Can I do that for you?” he asked, and gave 3 loud raps on the door. “Brilliant,” said the little girl. “Now run like mad.”

<><><><>

This one is long, a bit rude, but I think it’s funny.

<><><><>

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one

of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?”

Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1^st grade. My sister

is in the 3^rd grade and I’m smarter than she is. I think I should

be in the 3^rd grade too.” Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took

Harry to the principal’s office.

<><><>

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained

to the principal what the situation was. He said he would give

the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he

was to go back to the 1^st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him

and he agreed to take the test.

<><><>

Principal : “What is 3 X 3?” Harry : “9.”

Principal : “What is 6 X 6?” Harry : “36.”

And so it went on with every question the principal thought a

3^rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms.Brooks and

tells her, “I think Harry can go to the 3^rd grade.”

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let he ask him some questions.

The principal and Harry both agreed.

<><><><>

Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I only have

two of?” Harry, after a moment : “Legs.”

<><><>

Ms Brooks : “What is in your pants that you have and I do not

have?” The principal wondered why she would ask such a question.

Harry replied : “Pockets.”

<><><>

Ms. Brooks : “What does a dog do that man steps into?”

Harry : “Pants.”

Ms. Brooks : “What starts with a C and ends with a T, is

hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin white liquid?”

Harry : “Coconut.” The principal sat forward with his mouth

hanging open.

<><><>

Ms. Brooks : “What is hard and pink then comes out soft and

sticky?” The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he

could stop the answer, Harry replied, “Bubble Gum.”

<><><>

Ms. Brooks : “What does a man do standing up, a woman does

sitting down and a dog does on three legs?”

Harry : “Shake hands.”

The principal was trembling.

<><><>

Ms. Brooks : “What word starts with an F and ends in K that

means a lot of heat and excitement?”

Harry : Firetruck.”

<><><>

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,

“Put Harry in the fifth grade. I got the last seven questions wrong…..”

<><><><><><>

Going from one extreme to the other, a thought or so from

my calender. Are you still with me ?

<><><><>

Absence makes the heart grow fonder – Setus Propertius.

<><><>

Remember the tea kettle; when it’s up to it’s neck in hot water

it sings. __ Early American Folk Wisdom.

<><><>

The world’s greatest treasure is the small, simple pleasure of

spending time with good friends.

<><><>

Mistakes are valuable. They show us the correct path to take

next time.

<><><>

Give a little love to a child and you get a great deal back.

--- John Rushkin.

Enough for this post, I hope you all have a great week ahead.

Bye, Take care, Merle.

<><><><>

The Shape I'm In.

Howdy my Friends ~~ I hope you have had a great weekend. It has been quite nice here, even signs that winter is on it’s way out. I spent some time today cooking as usual but if I want to eat, I have to keep doing that.

I spoke to all four of my kids by phone over the weekend, and all is well with them all.

<><><><>

<><> I have a Poem tonight called “The Shape I’m In.” <><>

There’s nothing the matter with me;

I’m just as healthy as I can be;

I have arthritis in both my knees

And when I talk, I speak with a wheeze.

My pulse is weak and my blood is thin

But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in

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I think my liver is out of whack;

I have a terrible pain in my back;

My hearing is poor and my eyes are dim;

Most everything seems to be out of trim.

I’m likely to fall most of the time;

But, all things considered, I’m feeling fine.

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