Repercussions.

Hi Folks ~~ I’mmmm Baaack!!!! I hope all is well with

you all and things are going well at your house. All

OK here at the moment… I have a great casserole

cooking in the crockpot. Steak and kidney and lots

of vegetables. It will cook overnight, and then in the

morning I will pop some dumplings in on the top of it.

<><><><>

I have a poem called “Repercussions” tonight.

One morning, Algernon McGurk

While getting dressed for work

A hole in his sock he did find ---

And angrily he spoke his mind !!

Accused of laziness his mate,

In words and manner most irate,

Provoked, his erstwhile gentle wife,

Distressed at such domestic strife,

Spanked and stood Junior in the hall

For scribbling on the bathroom wall.

Whence Junior, much incensed at that,

Vented his wrath upon the cat !!

A mighty tug he gave it’s tail,

And, with a loud protesting wail

It hurtled through the kitchen door

Just as the milkman went to pour

The milk into the waiting can . . . .

And on the steps the milk all ran !!

Poor Milko had to clean the mess,

Which made him late in seeing Bess

The house-maid at Old Wealthy’s place;

And she accused him to his face

Of gossiping with Bella Sweet

Who ran the milk-bar down the street.

Then Bess, in quite a nasty mood

Answered, in manner curt and rude

Her mistress, who later made a scene

At breakfast, and called Old Wealthy mean

Because he would not buy her mink

He held his peace, though ears went pink,

Until he went to his office at ten ----

And though he was mostly the mildest of men,

He made it unpleasant for all at work,

Especially ---you guessed it-– for Algie McGurk,

Who really was at quite a loss

To know what had provoked his boss.

<><><> So, this little story has a moral

Directed at those who love to quarrel . . .

Just pause before you fume and fuss,

Or your actions, alas ! may re-percuss !!!!

<><><><>

**** Now for a few funnies ---****

A Polish man moved to Australia and married a local girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got

along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s

office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce.

The lawyer ( L) said that getting a divorce would depend

on the circumstances, and this exchange took place

with the client ( C).

L – Have you any grounds ?

C – Yes, half a hectare and a nice little home.

L – I mean what is the foundation of this case ?

C – It made of concrete.

L – I don’t think you understand. Does either of you

have a real grudge ?

C – No , we have carport.

L – I mean what are your relations like ?

C – All my relations still in Poland.

L – Is there any infidelity in your marriage ?

C – We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

L – Does your wife beat you up ?

C – No, I’m always up before her.

L – Why do you want this divorce ?

C – She is going to kill me. I got proof.

L – What kind of proof ?

C – She is going to poison me. She got a bottle from

the super-market and put it on the bathroom shelf.

I can read, and it says , “ Polish Remover.”

<><><><><>

The Indian chief introduced his wife to a newspaper reporter. The reporter asked her name. The chief replied, "Three Horse." "That's a picturesque name," said the reporter. "Does it have a deep

symbolism?" "Yes," the chief replied. "Nag, nag, nag!"

<><><><><>

A man was sitting in a bar gulping down shot after shot

of whisky. His friend comes into the bar and sees him.

“Lou”, says the shocked friend , “what are you doing ?

I’ve known you for 15 years and I’ve never seen you take

a drink before. What’s going on ?”

<><><>

Lou replies without even lifting his bleary eyes from his

newly filled shot glass, “My wife just ran off with my best

friend,”and he throws back another shot in one gulp.

<><><>

“But Lou,” says the other man, “I’m your best friend.”

The man turns to his friend, looks at him through bloodshot

eyes, smiles and then slurs, “Not any more. He is !!”

<><><><><>

A few little bits out of the newspaper.

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.

---- Confucius.

Mini-skirts keep men polite. A man will always let a mini-

skirt on the bus or tram first.

Junk is stuff we throw away.

Stuff is junk we keep.

My thought for today – Don’t tell me what I can’t do,

let me show you what I can do.

<><> Bye for now, Stay well and happy. Take care, Merle.

<><><><><>

White Lies.

Hello my friends ~~ Well all stocked up again AND I

did not forget anything this time. So that is a nice

change. The weather is so nice these days, it is a

pleasure to be able to move away from the heater and

the power bills and gas should be lower for awhile. At

least until the cooling brings them up again. What fun !!

<><><><>

<><><><> A Poem Called White Lies. <><><><>

In hospital beds side by side they lay,

The youth with fair hair, the old man with grey.

The older man chatted as days went by,

But from the youth, there came no reply.

<><><>

Then to the man came a wonderful thought,

The youth’s attention at last he caught,

“Here, from my window by my bed,

The nicest things I can see,” he said.

<><><>

“Here comes a lad with the tiniest pup,

It’s lagging a bit, he’s picked it up,

A couple of cars – a narrow squeak that !

And here’s a girl with the cutest hat.”

<><><>

And so it went on, for quite a long spell,

Till the old man went home, having been made well !

When the nurse came around, the young man said,

“Please nurse, may I have the old man’s bed ?”

<><><>

In the bed by the window the youth now lay,

Eagerly waiting for break of day.

Then what did he see ? Why nothing at all,

Nothing, except a tall, bare, brick wall !!!

<><><><><><><>

<><>Probably you have read it before, but it is a nice one.<><>

<><><> Now for a joke or so. first “The Bull” <><><>

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of their first stops was the

breeding bull exhibit. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign

attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."

<><><> The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "See he mated

50 times last year ... once-a-week." They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This

bull mated 120 times last year." The wife gave her husband a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice

a week! You could learn a lot from him."

<><><> They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital

letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said,

that's once-a-DAY. You could REALLY learn something from this one." The husband looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with

the same old cow."

<><><> NOTE: The husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable

and the doctors say after months of rehab and a couple more surgeries he

will likely be okay.

<><><> One Day at the Doctor’s Office. <><><>

An elderly couple showed up at the doctor’s office

together one day The doctor asks “What can I do for you ?”

The man said, “We’d like you to watch us have sex, and

make sure everything is all right.”

<><><>

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple

finished, the doctor daid,”There’s nothing wrong with the way

you have sex, everything id fine.” He charged them $50. and

they went on their way.

<><><>

The next week, they showed up again with the same request,

and the next week and several weeks in a row. The couple would

make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor

and leave. Finally the doctor asked, “ Just exactly what

are you trying to find out ?”

<><><>

The old man said, “We’re not trying to find out anything. She

is married and we can’t go to her house. I’m married and we can’t

go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90.

The Hilton charges $109. We do it here for $50. and I get

$43. back from Medicare.”

<><><><> And a few thoughts for you <><><><>

Do not be afaid to take a big step if one is required.

You cannot cross a chasm in two small jumps.

n David Lloyd Gearge.

<><><>

May you have food and raiment,

A soft pillow for your head.

May you be half an hour in heaven,

Before the devil knows you’re dead.

<><><> Irish Blessing.

No one ever hurt their eyesight by looking at the bright

side of life. – Anonymous.

<><><>

If you can’t see the bright side, polish the dull side. Anon.

<><><>

If you don’t like it, change it. If you don’t want to change

it, it can’t be that bad. – Anonymous.

<><><>

You can be whatever type of person you choose to be.

Your habits, your behaviours, your responses, are all

your choice. –Anonymous.

Goodbye for now, enjoy your lives, Cheers, Merle.

<><><><><><>

Butcher Dance.

Good evening People or Good morning ~~ Whatever.

I had an e-mail from a friend warning of a possible

cause of breast cancer. It said that we should not

use anti-perspirants, as apparently we are meant to

perspire to get the bad stuff out of us. It seems that

deodorants are OK, but not the anti-perspirants. I

thought I would pass it on as something to consider.

Shopping day tomorrow and as it is only once every

two weeks, I get excited about it. No hope for me !!

<><><><>

<><><> This is a joke called the Butcher Dance. <><><>

A guy spent five years traveling all around the world making a documentary on Native dances. At the end of this time, he had every single native dance of every indigenous culture in the world on film -- or so he thought. He wound up in Australia, in Alice Springs, so he popped into a pub for a well earned beer. He got talking to one of the local Aborigines and told him about his project. he Aborigine asked the guy what he thought of the Butcher Dance. "Butcher Dance?" he said, confused. "What's that?" "What? You didn't see the Butcher Dance?" "No, I've never heard of it."

<><><> "Mate, you're crazy," the Aborigine replied. "How can you say you filmed every native dance if you haven't seen the Butcher Dance?" "Umm. I got a Corroborree on film just the other week. Is that what you mean?" "No, no. The Butcher Dance is much more important than the Corroborree." "Oh," the man said, his curiosity piqued. "Well how can I see this Butcher Dance then?" "Mate, the Butcher Dance is way out in the wilderness. It'll take you many days of travel to go see it." "Look, I've been everywhere from the forests of the Amazon, to deepest darkest Africa, to the frozen wastes of the Arctic filming these dances. Nothing will prevent me from recording this one last dance." "Ok, mate," the Aborigine replied, shrugging. "You drive north along the highway towards Darwin. After you drive 197 miles, you'll see a dirt track veer off to left. Follow the dirt track for 126 miles till you see big huge dead gum tree -- the biggest tree you've ever seen. Here you gotta leave car, because it's much too rough for driving. You strike out due west into the setting sun. Walk three days till you hit a creek. You follow this creek to the northwest. After two days you'll find where the creek flows out of some rocky mountains, but it's much too difficult to cross the mountains there, though. So you head south for half day until you see a pass through mountains. The pass is very difficult and very dangerous. It'll take you two, maybe three days to get through it. On the other side, head northwest for four days until you reach a big huge rock -- twenty feet high and shaped like a man's head. From the rock, walk due west for two days, and then you'll find the village. You'll be able to see the Butcher Dance there." <><><>

So the guy grabbed his camera crew and equipment and headed out. After a couple of hours, he found the dirt track. The track was in a shocking state, and he was forced to crawl along at a snail's pace, and so he didn't reach the tree until dusk, where he was forced to set up camp for the night. He set out bright and early the following morning. His spirits were high, and he was excited about the prospect of capturing on film this mysterious dance that he had never heard mention of before. True to the directions he had been given, he reached the creek after three days and followed it for another two, until he reached the rocky mountains. The merciless sun was starting to take its toll, and the spirits of both himself and his crew were starting to flag; but wearily they trudged on, finally finding the pass through the mountains. Nothing would prevent him from completing his life's dream. The mountains proved to be every bit as treacherous as their guide had said, and at times they despaired of ever getting their bulky equipment through. But after three and a half days of back breaking effort, they finally forced their way clear and continued their long trek. When they reached the huge rock, four days later, their water was running low, and their feet were covered with blisters, but they steeled themselves and headed out on the last leg of their journey. Two days later they virtually staggered into the village. To their relief, the natives welcomed them and fed them and gave them fresh water, and they began to feel like new men. Once he recovered enough, the guy went before the village chief and told him that he came to film their Butcher Dance.

<><><>

"Oh mate," he said. "Very bad you come today. Butcher Dance last night. You too late. You miss dance." "Well, when do you hold the next dance?" "Not till next year." "Well, I've come all this way. Couldn't you just hold an extra dance for me tonight?" "No, no, no!" the chief exclaimed. "Butcher Dance very holy. Only hold once a year. You want see Butcher Dance, you come back next year." Understandably, the guy was devastated, but he had no other option but to head back to civilization and back home. The following year, he headed back to Australia and, determined not to miss out again, set out a week earlier than before. He was quite willing to spend a week in the village before the dance is performed in order to ensure he was present to witness it. But right from the start, things went wrong. Heavy rains that year turned the dirt track to mud, and the car got bogged down every few miles. Finally they had to abandon their vehicles and slog through the mud on foot almost half the distance to the tree. They reached the creek and the mountains without any further problems, but halfway through the mountain pass, they were struck by a fierce storm that raged for several days, during which they were forced to cling forlornly to the mountainside until it subsided. Then, before they had traveled a mile out from the mountains, one of the crew sprained his ankle badly, slowing down the rest of their journey greatly. Eventually, having lost all sense of how long they had been traveling, they staggered into the village right at noon. "The Butcher Dance!" the man gasped. "Please don't tell me I'm too late to see it!" The chief recognized him and said, "No, white fella. Butcher Dance performed tonight. You come just in time."

<><><>

Relieved beyond measure, the crew spent the rest of the afternoon setting up their equipment and preparing to capture the night's ritual on celluloid. As dusk fell, the natives started to cover their bodies in white paint and adorn themselves in all manner of birds' feathers and animal skins. Once darkness had settled fully over the land, the natives formed a circle around a huge roaring fire. A deathly hush descended over performers and spectators alike as a wizened old figure with elaborate swirling designs covering his entire body entered the circle and began to chant. "What's he doing?" the man whispered to the chief. "Hush," the chief whispered back. "You first white man ever to see most sacred of our rituals. Must remain silent. Holy man, he asks that the spirits of the dream world watch as we demonstrate our devotion to them through our dance, and, if they like our dancing, will they be so gracious as to watch over us and protect us for another year." The chanting of the holy man reached a stunning crescendo before he removed himself from the circle. The rhythmic pounding of drums boomed out across the land, and the natives began to sway to the stirring rhythm. The guy became caught up in the fervor of the moment himself. This was it. He realized beyond all doubt that his wait had not been in vain. He was about to witness the ultimate performance of rhythm and movement ever conceived by mankind.

<><><> The chief strode to his position in the circle and, in a big booming voice, started to sing: "You butch yer right arm in. You butch yer right arm out. You butch yer right arm in, and you shake it all about....

<><><><><> It is a long one , but I thought it was funny. <><><><>

<><> I found this is the local paper and laughed. <><>

Some questions asked of technical support personel

about computer problems. . . . . .

Tech support –What kind of computer do you have?

Customer _ A white one.

Customer – Hi this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.

Tech support – Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer – Yes, sure, but it’s really stuck.

Tech Support –That doesn’t sound good. I’ll make a note.

Customer – No, wait a minute. . . I hadn’t inserted it yet. . .

it’s still on my desk . . . Sorry . . . .

Tech Support – Click on my computer icon on the left of screen

Customer – Your left or my left?

Tech Support – Good day, how may I help you?

Male customer – Hello . . . I can’t print.

Tech support – Would you click on “start” for me and . . .

Customer – Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me.

I’m not Bill Gates.

Customer – Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha.. I can’t print.

Every time I try, it says “Can’t find printer”. I have even lifted

the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer

still says he can’t find it. . .

Customer - I have problems printing in red . . .

Tech support – Do you have a colour printer?

Customer – Aaah . . . thank you.

Tech support – What is on your monitor now, ma’am?

Customer – A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me.

Customer – I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen

saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse

it disappears.

Tech support – How may I help you ?

Customer – I’m writing my first e-mail.

Tech support – OK, what seems to be the problem?

Customer – Well I have the “a” in the address, but how do I

get the circle around it ?

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem

with her printer.

Tech support - Are you running it under Windows?

Customer – No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good

point. The man in the next cubicle next to me is under the

window, and his printer is working fine.

Tech support – Okay Bob, let’s press the control key and escape keys at the same time.That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.

Customer – I don’t have a P.

Tech support – On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer – What do you mean?

Tech support – “P” . . . on your keyboard, Bob.

Ccustomer – I’m not going to do that !!!

<><><><> I hope you got a few laughs folks. <><><><>

<><><> Just a few thoughts. <><><>

The secret of making something work in your lives is first of

all, the deep desire to make it work; then the faith and belief

that it can work; then to hold clear definite vision in your

consciousness and see it working out step by step, without one

thought of doubt or disbelief. –Eileen Caddy.

<><> Believe nothing of what you hear, and only half of what

you see. --Proverb.

<><> Believe in the best, think your best, study your best, have

a goal for your best, never be satisfied with less than your

best, try your best and in the long run things will turn out

for the best. – Henry Ford.

<><> Good, better, best,

May you never rest,

Until your good is better,

And your better best. Anonymous.

Cheerio for now, Take care of each other, Merle.

<><><><><><><>

On Youth.

Hi Everyone ~~ It is Sunday evening here so my

weekend is over. I have had a quiet day, made the

potato cakes and hamburgers. The former need

to be cooked slowly or they burn (as I found ! )

I hope that you are all having a great weekend

and the weather is not too unpleasant for you.

As usual, my footy team, Carlton lost again. I

sure hope they do better next year !!

<><><><><>

<><><><> On Youth <><><><>

Youth is not entirely a time of life --- it is a state

of mind. It is not wholly a matter of ripe cheeks, red

lips or supple knees. It is a temper of will, a quality

of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions.

<><><>

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years.

People grow old only by deserting their ideals. You are

as young as your faith, as old as your doubt, as young

as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young

as your hope, as old as your despair.

<><><>

In the central place of every heart, there is a recording

chamber, so long as it receives messages of beauty and

hope, cheer and courage, you are young.

<><><>

When the wires are all down and your heart is covered

with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism,

then and only then have you grown old.

<><><><><>

<><><> Now for a joke or two <><><>

A husband and a wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage.

The counselor asks them what the problem is, and the wife goes into

a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years

they've been married. She goes on and on. Finally, the counselor gets

up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up, and sits quietly in a daze. The counselor turns to

the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs at least three times

a week. Can you do this?" The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off

here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays I golf."

<><><><>

<><><> Unanswered Questions <><><>

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around

several times, does he become disoriented ?

<><><>

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people

from Holland called Holes ?

<><><>

Why do we say something is out of whack? What’s a whack?

<><><>

If a pig loses his voice, is it disgruntled ?

<><><>

When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say ?

<><><>

Why is a person who plays piano called a pianist, but a

person who drives a race-car not called a racist ?

<><><>

Why are a wise man and a wise guy Opposites ?

<><><>

“I am” is the shortest sentence in the English language

Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence ?

<><><>

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,

doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted,

musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed

tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed ?

<><><>

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licence of

bald men ?

<><><>

If it is true we are here to help others, then what exactly

are the others here for ?

<><><>

I was thinking about how people read the Bible a whole

lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me. . . . they’re

cramming for their final exam.

<><><>

No one ever says, “It’s only a game”, when their team is

winning.

<><><>

Ever wondered what the speed of lightning would be if it

didn’t zig-zag ?

<><><><><><><>

<><><> Some thoughts <><><>

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling

passes.

<><><>

With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.

<><><>

Without health you cannot enjoy wealth and happiness.

<><><>

Your boss will always be early when you are late and late when

you are early.

<><><>

Youth and skill are no match for age and cunning.

<><><>

<><><> Bye for now, Take care, I’ll be back !! Merle. <><><>

<><><><><><>

You and Yourself.

Hello again Everyone ~~ Another nice day here , hoping you had the

same. I did some washing, and even pulled a few weeds (very few)

and then watched Geelong beat Sydney in the football. Tonight I will

watch Fremantle play St Kilda. I know the coach of Freo as his

family used to live next door to us in Nathalia. Chris now lives way

over in Western Australia., but when he started school my two girls

used to take him to school as they were a bit older. In spite of this,

I would like to see the Saints win. (A Victorian team). Carlton play

tomorrow and I will have to listen to it on the radio, as there is no

TV coverage. My friend Val will barrack hard for us I’m sure.

<><><><>

<><> You and Yourself <><>

It is rewarding to find someone whom you like, but it is essential to

like yourself.

<><>

It is quickening to recognize someone as a good and decent human being,

but it is indispensable to view yourself as acceptable.

<><>

It is a delight to discover people who are worthy of respect, admiration,

and love, but it is vital to believe yourself deserving of these things.

<><>

For you cannot live in someone else. You cannot find yourself in someone

else. You cannot be given a life by someone else.

Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will

never leave nor lose.

<><>

To the question of your life, you are the only answer.

To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.

<><><><><>

<><> Now for some jokes that my friend Pea sent to me. <><>

Thanks Carole in Canada.

The Water Pistol

When my 3 year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother and

found a water pistol, he squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.

I was not so pleased. I turned to mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't

you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"

Mom smiled and then replied, "I remember."

*******

Sunburn...

A guy falls asleep on the beach for several

hours and gets a horrible sunburn.

He goes to the hospital, and is promptly

admitted after being diagnosed with

second-degree burns.

With his skin already starting to blister,

and the severe pain he was in, the doctor

prescribes continuous intravenous feeding

with saline, electrolytes, a sedative,

and a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse, who is rather astounded, says,

"What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?

The doctor replied,

"It'll keep the sheets off his legs."

**************

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the

husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she

sits alone at a nearby table, until the wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drink right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!", says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?

<><><><><>

<><> Some funny ones there, I liked the last one best. <><>

<><> One Hundred Years From Now. <><>

One hundred years from now

It won’t matter

What kind of care I drove

What kind of house I lived in

How much money I had in the bank

Nor what my clothes looked like

BUT

The world may be a little better

Because, I was important

In the life of a child. Author unknown.

<><><> And some thoughts for you <><><>

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re

aboard, there is nothing you can do. You can’t stop the plane,

you can’t stop the storm, you can’t stop time. So one might as

well accept it calmly and wisely. --- Golda Meir.

<><><>

Grey hair is great. Ask any bald man. –Lee Trevino.

<><><>

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is

because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the

music which he hears, however measured or far away.

---Henry David Thoreau.

<><><>

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine

when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true

beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.

--- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

Bye for now, ‘till next time, Take care my friends, Merle.

<><><><>

Blonde Cookbook.

Hello my Friends ~~ Well how quickly the weeks go by, as it

is Friday again. I trust that all is well with you all and the world

is treating you well. I cannot complain, (well I can and do, but

wont here) as all is well with my part of the world.

I found an easy recipe that you may like. Or not !!

<><><>

<><><> Cheese and Potato Cakes. <><><>

2 cups of mashed potato

1 cup grated cheese

3 tablespns of melted butter or Margarine

2 beaten eggs

½ cup of flour Salt and pepper (I add a little chopped onion)

Mash the potatos and add melted butter, cheese and salt/pepper

and the 2 beaten eggs. Add flour. Shape into cakes (patties ?)

Dip in breadcrumbs and fry about 15 minutes in a little hot oil.

These would be nice with salad, and not much trouble.

<><><><>

In keeping with the recipes on Fridays, my son sent me these

Blonde Recipes jokes. Enjoy.

Blonde Cookbook! MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake.

The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice

enough to loan me some extra bowls.

<><><> TUESDAY: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve

without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought

a friend home for supper

<><><> . WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly

before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway.

I can't say it improved the rice any.

<><><> THURSDAY: Today Tom asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It

said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.

Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.

<><><> FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in

a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe.

When I got back, everything was the same as when I left

<><><> SATURDAY: Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken.

He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Tom keeps

counting to ten.

<><><>

SUNDAY: Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had

was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the

oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my

disappointment.

<><><> GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am

eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can

talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with

chocolate moose.

<><><><><><>

<><><> The Senility Prayer <><><>

Grant me the Senility to forget the People I never liked.

the good fortune to run into the People I do like.

And the eyesight to Tell the Difference.

<><><><>

<><> 25 Pun and Games with Words. <><>

1. PESSIMIST’s blood type is always B-negative

2. HANGOVER is the wrath of grapes.

3. A SUCCESSFUL diet is the triumph of mind over matter.

4. A GOSSIP is someone with a great sense of rumour.

5. A CHICKEN crossing the road is poetry in motion.

6. A BOILED egg in the morning is hard to beat.

7. A PLATEAU is a high form of flattery.

8. CORDUROY pillows are making headlines.

9. ACUPUNCTURE is a jab well done.

10. EVERY Calendar’s days are numbered.

11. DOES the name Pavlov ring a bell.

12. WHAT’S the definition of a will? A dead giveaway.

13. SHIP’S captains don’t like crew cuts.

14. ENERGIZER Bunny arrested for battery.

15. DI JON VU the same mustard as before.

16. WHEN two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

17. WHEN a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

18. WHEN you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.

19. WHEN an actor saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought

she’d dye.

20. READING while sunbathing makes you well red.

21. WITH her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

22. WITHOUT geometry, life would be pointless.

23. A MAN’S home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

24. A BICYCLE can’s stand on it’s own because it is two tyred.

25. IN democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.

<><><><><>

<><><> And a few thoughts. <><><>

To achieve great things we must live as though we were never

going to die. – Luc de Clapiers. French writer.

Do what you can with what you have, where you are.

--- Theodore Roosevelt.

Those who say a thing cannot be done should not stand in the way

of those who are doing it. Anon.

I prefer old age to the alternative. – Maurice Chevalier.

As a white candle in a Holy place,

So is the beauty of an old face. – Joseph Campwell.

<><>

Bye for now my friends, Have a great weekend, Merle.

<><><><>