FRIDAY RECIPES

FRIDAY RECIPES ~ 5 Ingedients or Less

SCOTCH SHORTBREAD.

250 grams Butter ~~8 oz or ½ lb

125 grams caster sugar ~~ 4 oz or ¼ lb

500 grams plain floue, sifted ~~ 16 oz or 1 lb

<><><><><><>

Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees Celsius ~ 350 Fahrenheit

In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar until light.

Add flour and knead well. Roll out to about 1 cm ~ ½ inch.

Cut into desired shapes. Crimp edges with a fork and

prick well. Bake for 20 ` 25 minutes.

<><><><><><> FRUIT SLICE repeated. <><><><><><>

1 kilo (2 lb) Dried Mixed Fruit

2 ½ cups of Orange Juice

2 ½ cups Self Raising Flour (All Purpose Flour?)

<><><><><><>

Soak fruit in a bowl overnight with the O J

Next morning, add the flour. Use same measure for

juice and flour. Mix well together.

I use 2 biscuit tins, ( 8” X 12” ) Spray with cooking spray

and spread all around the edges wth clean tissue or paper

towel. Add mixture to 2 tins and bake 1 hour at 160 Degrees No higher

as it can burn easily. 325 Fahrenheit. When cool cut into slices or squares.

It can be all put into a fruit-cake tin and cooked about

1 ½ hours.

But my way, it goes further and is very popular.

No eggs, butter or sugar, so is fairly healthy.

<><><><><><><><><><>

F

The Way to Happiness.

Hi Everyone ~~ It is raining here, which is wonderful. So far

we have had just over an inch and a half, and by the look of

the sky may get some more. I hope other places that badly

need rain are getting their share.

<><><><><><>

Well our socceroos are still in the World Cup, as we drew with

Croatia this morning (our time) so still have a chance.

Tonight my Australian Rules team Carlton are playing against

the Kangaroos. Both teams having a dreadful year and only

have 2 wins each. After tonight, one of them should have 3 wins. Go Blues !!!!

<><><><><><> The Way to Happiness <><><><><><>

I met a man the other day

Whose sunny manner seemed to say

That he had found the happy way.

I asked the secret of his smile.

He gave a thoughtful look the while

And answered somewhat in this style:

“Six things have I that spell content,

A peaceful mind,

A grateful heart,

A love for all that’s true,

A helpful hand,

Real tolerance,

And lots of things to do.”

I took my way with courage new,

With kindlier feelings, broader view,

Trying to think his answer through.

That man had found the secret key

Of how to love and what to be,

And passed it on to you and me.

Then let us try his simple plan

Of faith in God and love to man,

And imitate him if we can.

<><><><><><> A Couple of Puzzles <><><><><><>

Homer’s mother had 4 children. She named the 1^st Spring,

the 2^nd Summer, and the 3^rd Autumn. What did she name No4?

<><><><><><>

Test your entertainment knowledge…..

An easy one to start……

Who is The Divine Miss M? Of course Bette Midler.

Who has these nicknames?

The master of suspense?

The Kid?

The Old Groaner?

The Man in Black?

The King of Cool?

<><><><><>

What nicknames are these entertainers better known by?

Elvis Presley?

Marlon Brando?

Eric Clapton?

Bruce Springsteen?

Edith Piaf? Answers in comments. (If I remember)

<><><><><><> Battles of the Sexes <><><><><><>

He said…What have you been doing with all the grocery money

I gave you?

She said… Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

<><><><><>

He said.. Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said… That’s a good idea.. you stand by the ironing board

while I sit on the sofa and fart.

<><><><><><>

He said… How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet

paper?

She said.. We don’t know. It has never happened.

<><><><><><>

He said…Why are married women heavier than single women?

She said… Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge

and go to bed. Married women come home, see

what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

<><><><><><>

She said… What do you call a woman who knows where her

husband is every night?

He said … A widow.

<><><><><><> A couple of funnies <><><><><><>

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should

brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have

to wait so long for our coffee.”

The husband said, “You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it,

because that is your job, and I can wait for my coffee.

“No you should do it, besides, it is in the Bible that the man

makes the coffee.”

The husband replied, “I can’t believe that; show me.”

So she brought out the Bible and opened the New Testament

and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed

says……. HEBREWS

<><><><><> Lucky last for tonight <><><><><>

A woman invited a bunch of people to dinner.

At the table, she turned to her 6 year old daughter and asked

her to say grace.

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the little girl replied.

“Just say what you hear Mummy say,” the woman suggested.

The daughter bowed her head and said: : Lord, why on earth

did I invite all these people to dinner?”

<><><><><><> Bye for now, Cheers, Merle. <><><><><><>

Read the Book.

Hello Folks ~~ I hope all is well with you and your family.

I had a call from my daughter today saying that she and

her husband and 3 youngest children are coming to visit

just for the weekend. I haven’t seen them since Christmas

so am looking forward to seeing them. The oldest two kids

will do the milking on their dairy farm, which is on the coast

of Victoria, close to the Twelve Apostles and the Great

Ocean Road. A tourist attraction of some note.

<><><><><><><>

Thanks to the folks who commented on The Mayonnaise Jar.

I edited it today and it is easier to read and enjoy. Blogger

does like to mix things up at times.

Now to find something to post……..

<><><><><> Read the Book <><><><><>

A man bought his wife a flash new car and as he handed her the manuel says: “Here’s everything you need to know about your new car.” He laid it down and shouted, “Come on, we’re going into town to celebrate your birthday.”

<><><><><>

Just as she headed out the door, the phone rang. It was their

neighbor wondering if anything was wrong, as the car horn was

honking continually.

<><><><><>

She hurried outside and said, “For Heaven’s sake, turn off the horn.”

He said :”I can’t. I’m not touching it and it still honks.”

“At least roll down the window, so I don’t have to shout.”

“ Can’t. They won’t work.”

“Well start the motor. Maybe that will stop the horn.”

“Can’t. Already tried it. It won’t start.”

<><><><><><>

“Look in the manual and see what it says,” she said, between giggles.

“Can’t. The manual is in the house on the ktchen counter. Go in

and get it and read it to me.” His voice was getting hoarse from trying to shout

above the horn.

She hurried into the house, grabbed the manual and ran outside, and began to

thumb through the pages, then trying hard not to laugh while reading to him.

<><><><><><>

“Okay. have you got the remote?”

He held it up for her to see.

“Okay. Just push the unlock button.”

For once he did not query the wisdom of this. He pushed “unlock” and the horn

quit honking, the door unlocked and when he turned the key, the motor

immediately leapt into action and purred like a kitten.. Then he opened the door

and walked around to the other side, saying, “You drive.”

<><><><><><><> Joke of the Day <><><><><><><>

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded

up Jack’s mini-van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got

caught in a terrible blizzard.

So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive

woman who answered the door if they could spend the night.

“I realise it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself,

but I’m recently widowed,” she explained.

“I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.

“Don’t worry” said Jack, “we’ll be happy to sleep in the barn.

And if the weather breaks, “we’ll be gone at first light.”

The woman agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn, and settled

in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared and they got on their

way to enjoy a great weekend of skiing.

About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from the attractive

widow’s lawyer. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked :”Bob, do you

remember that good looking widow from the farm we stayed at

on our ski trip up north about nine months ago?”

“Yes I do,” said Bob.

“Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go to the house

and pay her a visit?”

“Well, um, yes,” Bob said, a little embarrassed,. I have to admit that I did.”

“And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her yours?”

Bob’s face turned beet red and he said: “ Yeah, Look I’m sorry.

buddy. I’m afraid I did. Why do you ask?”

“She just died, and left me everything.”

<><><><><><><> Couple of puzzles. <><><><><><><>

Q. What is it that everyone has, but is always used more by their friends

than by them?

<><><><><><><>

Q. I’m pointed in one direction, and headed in another. When

you drive me home, my purpose you’ll discover. What am I?

<><><><><> Answers in Comments. Bye now, Merle.

Mayonnaise Jar

Howdy Folks ~~ Another day nearly over, and a chicken casserole

cooking in the crockpot. I will do some more vegetables tomorrow.

We had our shortest day today, as our friends in the Northern

Hemisphere had their longest. In a couple of weeks or so, the days

should start to draw out a little.. It gets dark so early these days.

I have a nice story tonight, sent to me by my good friend Granny .

I hope you enjoy it. as much as I did.. Thanks, Ann.

<><><><><><>

The Mayonnaise Jar.

*When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 Hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar . . . and the coffee. *

*A professor stood before his Philosophy class and had some items in front of him. *

*When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. *

*He then asked the students if the jar was full. *

*They agreed that it was. *

*The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.*

*He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. *

*He then asked the students again if the jar was full. *

*They agreed it was. *

*The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. *

*Of course, the sand filled up everything else. *

*He asked once more if the jar was full. *

*The students responded with an unanimous "yes." *

*The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. *

*The students laughed. *

*"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. *

*"The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. *

*"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. *

*"The sand is everything else--the small stuff. *

*"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. *

*"The same goes for life. *

*"If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. *

*"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. *

*Play with your children*

*"Take time to get medical checkups. *

*"Take your partner out to dinner. *

*"Play another 18. *

*"There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. *

*"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. *

*"Set your priorities. *

*"The rest is just sand." *

*One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. *

*The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. *

*"It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,there's always room for a cup of coffee with a friend." *

*Please share this with someone you care about. *

*I JUST DID by sending it to YOU*

<><><><><> And some Jokes <><><><><>

Q. What is the difference between men and govern-

ment bonds?

A. The bonds mature.

<><><><>

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive,

caring and good-looking?

A. They already have boyfriends.

<><><><>

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?

A. He buys two cases of beer.

<><><><>

Q. Why is Oxygen a lot like sex?

A. There’s no problem unless you’re not getting any.

<><><><><>

A blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in the back-yard.

A bird flew over them and pooped on his head. “Dam,” said the man, “Get

some toilet paper.” “What for?” said the girl. “He must be a mile away by now.”

<><><><><> Joke of the Day <><><><><>

Three boys are in the school-yard bragging about their

fathers. The first boy says: “My dad scribbles a few words

on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”

<><><><><>

The second boy says: “That’s nothing. My dad scribbles a few words on a piece

of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100

<><><><><>

The third boy says: “I got you both beat. My dad scribbles a

few words on a piece of paper, he calls iy a sermon, and it takes

eight people to collect all the money.”

<><><><><> Perfect timimg ~~ a Day late. <><><><><>

It was pointed out that yesteray at six minutes past eight,

the time and date would read: 200620062006.

<><><><><> Bye for now, Merle. <><><><><>

Time and Money

Hello to you all and thanks for your comments. I have been

unable to get on the Net tonight, but after about 4 hours

we are back on the air. Anyway, I caught up on reading the

papers and even wrote a couple of letters, longhand, which

I do not do very often. Thank goodness.

<><><><><><>

I hope all is well with you and anyone sick will hopefully be a

lot better very soon.

Tomorrow the 21^st my nephew Marcus from Holt Press will

turn 45 years of age. So Happy Birthday Marcus. You are

starting to get some big numbers there!! Hope you have a great day,

lots of prezzies and good food, and getting some special attention

from the family.

<><><><><><><>

A Poem ….. Time is the Hunter

Time is the hunter, we are it’s prey,

As we pass each hour of every day,

We are not aware, until it’s too late,

What we take for granted, will seal our fate.

<><><><><><>

Time gives so favour, hears no cry,

Of the honest truth or the blatant lie,

For in the end, what games we play,

Time will have the final say.

<><><><><><>

What time we have, is ours to keep,

A gift on loan, while awake or sleep,

To spend as we wish, our distance run,

When our time is up, our time has come.

<><><><><><>

<><><><><> Time for a Joke. <><><><><>

A married couple went to have their baby delivered. Upon

their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a machine that

would transfer a portion of the mother’s labour pain to the

baby ‘s father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both

very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer

to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably

more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

However as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and

asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch, so the

doctor adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband’s blood pressure and was

amazed at how well he was doing, At this point, they decided

to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife

considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer

ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with

virtually no pain, She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the postman was dead on the porch.

<><><><><><> Thoughts on Money <><><><><><>

It can buy a House, But not a Home.

It can buy a Bed, But not Sleep.

It can buy a clock, But not Time.

It can buy a Book, But not Knowledge.

It can buy a Position, But not Respect.

It can buy Medicine, But not Health.

It can buy Blood, But not Life.

It can buy Sex, But not Love.

<><><><><>

Money isn’t everything, and it often causes pain and

suffering. I tell you all this because I am your

Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your

pain and suffering……

So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.

I Accept Cash, Money Orders, Personal cheques, Bags of

Gold . Note: No children as Payments, They will be returned.

<><><><> A Quickie to Finish. <><><><>

A Police Recruit was asked: “What would you do if you had to

arrest your own mother?”

The Recruit answered: “Call for backup.” Bye for now, Merle.

<>><><><><<>

Medley tonight.

Hello Everyone ~~ Thanks for the comments about

the jokes, and I have another couple tonight sent in an e-mail

from a friend. Thanks Warren.

Well, I watched the soccer too and got to bed at 4 am and

managed to get up by 9 am. as my Cleaning Lady was due.

So all looks clean and tidy again, and lots of laundry done

and airing. I can still do that. I hope our Socceroos do better

next match, but they were not disgraced.

I hope these jokes do not shock anyone !!

<><><><><>

Grandpa A grandson came to visit his grandparents and noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch

in the rocker, wearing only a shirt, naked from the waist down. "Grandpa, whatcha' doing? You're weenie's out in the wind for all to see!" he exclaimed. Grandpa looked off in the distance, not answering. "Grandpa, whatcha' doin' sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. Grandpa looked at him and said, "Last week I sat here with no shirt on and got a stiff neck.

This is grandma's idea..." ******************************************************************

Sensitive Men Do Exist...

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. (Hundreds of cute, small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.) The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side. She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.

After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and she asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"

The guy says, "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

<><><><><><><>

<><><><> Some Drought Humour <><><><>

It is so dry in New South Wales (Australia) ……

The Red Cross has launched a wet blanket appeal.

If the English cricket team wasn’t touring we’d never see ducks.

We’re actually drinking the new Vanilla Coke.

You’re only permitted to eat watermelon between 8pm and 8am.

The Government has introduced a water pistol buyback scheme.

Thieves are syphoning off radiators instead of petrol tanks.

Jesus has turned the wine into water.

I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

When my daughter fainted it took 3 buckets os sand to bring her around.

All the dogs are marking their territory with chalk.

Some of the 4WDs in Double Bay have actually got dust on them.

<><><> Great Truths about Growing Old. <><><>

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

Forget about health food, I need all the preservatives I can get.

<><><> Bye for now ~ Be Happy, Merle.

More of the Same.

Hi Folks ~~ I hope all goes well with you . And I hope that all the

Dads had a very Happy Father’s Day, and enjoyed some special

attention Like presents and goodies to eat and drink. I am still

working on my phones, but at least they work, which is the main

thing. Like most Aussies, I will be up half the night watching our

Socceroos play the champions, Brazil. One can only hope !!

<><><> Some more of the same Reflections. <><><>

Almost all of our unhappiness is the result of comparing

ourselves to others.

<><><><>

We can’t do much about our appearance, but we have

total control over the kind of person we become.

<><><><>

To change everything, simply change your attitude.

<><><><>

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.

<><><><>

Carrying a grudge is like a run in a stocking, it can only get worse.

Forgiveness is the answer.

<><><><>

When you remember how hard it is to change yourself, you begin

to understand what little chance we have of changing others.

<><><><>

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers, why not

gather your own boquet.

<><><><>

A friend is a person who knows all about you but likes you anyway.

<><><><>

Friends are like a beautiful garden. They require regular care.

<><><><>

The people on our planet are not standing in a line single file. Look

closely. Everyone is really standing in a circle, holding hands,

Wherever you give to the person standing next to you, it

eventually comes back to you.

<><><> A Plaque for Guests. <><><>

Guest..

You are welcome here, be at your ease,

Get up when you’re ready and go to bed when you please.

We’re happy to share with you such as we’ve got

the leaks in the roof and the soup in the pot.

You don’t have to thank us or laugh at our jokes,

Sit deep and come often, you’re one of the folks !

<><><><><>

<><><> LIFE BEFORE COMPUTERS <><><>

An application was for employment

A program was a T V show

A cursor used profanity

And a keyboard was on a piano!

Memory was something you lost with age

And a CD was a bank account

And if you had a corrupted disk

It would hurt when you found out !

Compress was what you did to garbage

Not something you did to a file

And if you unzipped anything in public

You’d be in jail for a while.

Log on was adding wood to a fire

A hard drive was a trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And a back-up happened to the commode.

Cutting, you did with a pocket knfe,

Pasting, you did with glue

Web was where a spider lived

And a virus was the flu!

<><><> And Some Jokes Folks. <><><>

A University student at a football match challenged

a senior citizen sitting next to him, saying it was impossible

for their generation to understand his.

“You grew up in a different world,” the student said loud

enough for the whole crowd to hear. Today we have

television, jet planes, space travel, man has walked on

the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars., we even

have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars,

computers with light- speed processing…. and uh….

Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s litany,

the old geezer said, “You’re right, we didn’t have those

things when we were young, so we invented them, you

little twit, what the hell are you doing for the next

generation.”

<><><><>

Jacob, aged 92, and Rebecca, aged 89, are excited about

their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to

discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a Chemist.

Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:

“Are you the owner?”

The pharmacist answers. “Yes”.

Jacob : “We’re about to get married,”

“Do you sell heart medication?”

Pharmacist: :Of course we do.”

Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”

Pharmacist: “All kinds.”

Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?”

Pharmacist: “Definitely.”

Jacob: How about Viagra?”

Pharmacist: “Of course.”

Jacob: Medicine for problems, arthritis, jaundice?”

Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety… the works!”

Jacob: “ What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes

for Parkinson’s disease?”

Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”

Jacob: You sell wheelchairs and walkers?”

Pharmacist: “All speeds and sizes….why do you ask….

is there something I can help you with?”

Jacob says to the pharmacist: “We’d like to nominate

your store as our Bridal Gift Registry.”

<><><><><> Couple of Quickies. <><><><><>

Q. Why are elephants banned from pblic swimming pools?

A. They keep dropping their trunks.

<><><><>

Q. What do you call a parrot in a raincoar?

A. Polyunsaturated .

<><><><><>

Q. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma”

A. One has it’s claws at the end of it’s paws; the other

has it’s pause at the end of it’s clause.

<><><><><><>

Q. What do you get when you cross a teddy - bear with

a skunk?

A. Winnie the Peeyew,

<><><><><>

Q. What wears a coat in Winter and pants in Summer?

A. A dog.

<><><><> Goodnight/morning to all, Merle. <><><><>

Reflections.

Hello to you all ~~ My weekend is half over as it’s Saturday

night. But I hope that you have a great weekend.

I have had a fun time today. I bought some new cordless

phones yesterday and charged their batteries overnight.

Now I have them set up and working which is great.

<><><><><>

The next job, (maybe when I finish this) I will install the

phone numbers of my family and friends. That is why I can

never tell what their phone numbers are, when I just have to

push a button. It looks simple enough ~ wish me luck.

<><><><> First tonight ~~ some Reflections. <><><><>

Love is like wildflowers. It’s often found in the most unlikely places.

~~~~~~~~~~

To get more out of life, give more of yourself.

Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.

You’ll learn more about a road by travelling it than by consulting all the maps in the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~

When fate shuts a door, come in through the window.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No failure is ever final, nor is any success.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you’re doing your best, you wont have time to worry about failure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dreams come true for those who work while they dream.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

No one is guaranteed happiness. Life just gives us time and space. It’s up to us to fill it with joy and meaning.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Do for others with no desire of returned favors.

We all should plant some trees we’ll never sit under.

~~~~~~~~~~~

True wealth is what you are, not what you have.

~~~~~~~~~

Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.

<><><><<> The usual Joke or two <><><><>

A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are

walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a genie appears.

The genie says, I’ll give each of you one wish.”

“Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in

the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”

Poof! She’s gone.

~~~~~~~

“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii,

relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless

supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.”

Poof! He’s gone.

“OK, you’re up,” says the Genie to the manager. The manager

says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story.

Always let your boss have the first say.

<><><><><> How to impress a woman. <><><><><>

*Wine her, *Dine her, *Call her, *Hug her, * Support her,

*Hold her, *Surprise her, *Compliment her, *Smile at her,

*Listen to her, *Laugh with her, *Cry with her, *Romance her,

*Encourage her, *Believe in her, *Pray with her, *Cuddle her,

*Shop with her, *Give her jewellery, *Buy her flowers,

*Hold her hand, *Write love letters to her,

*Go to the ends of the Earth and back again for her.

<><><><><><> How to impress a Man. <><><><><><>

*Show up naked….

*Bring food….

*Don’t block the TV

<><><><><><> The big Question <><><><><><>

Do dignitaries become indignantaries when they suffer

indignities ??

And finally : Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get

run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers.

<><><><><> Goodbye all ~~ Be happy, Merle <><><><><>

Fruit Slice.

Hi Folks ~~ I hope all is well with you…I have to post a 5

ingedients or less recipe, so here goes ……..

Fruit Slice or Fruit Cake.

Ingedients, 1 kilo (2 lb) Mixed Fruit

2 and ½ cups of Orange Juice

2 and ½ cups of Self Raising Flour.

Soak the fruit overnight in a bowl with the OJ

Next morning add the SR flour and mix well. (Use same measure for the juice and the flour).

I use 2 biscuit trays, 12 inches by 8 inches, Spray with

a cooking oil and spread the oil all around the tin with a

clean tissue. Add the mixture to both trays and bake in

a slowish oven 160 C, ( no higher as it burns easily) for

1 hour. Place low in gas oven.

This can be placed in a cake tin and made into a fruit cake

and bake for 1 and1/2 up to 2 hours. Cool oven 160, but I

prefer it in 2 tins, goes further and tastes just as good.

<><><><><><><> No eggs, sugar or butter !! <><><><><>

<><><><> A couple of Blonde Jokes <><><><>

The wife, who is blonde, came running up to her husband in the driveway, the other day, just jumping for joy! he didn't know why she was jumping for joy but thought what the heck and starting jumping up and down along with her. When she said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" he said, "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about." She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told him that she was pregnant! He was ecstatic! They had been trying for a while, so he grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!" Then, she said "Oh, honey. There's more." he asked, "What do you mean 'more'?" She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew. She said... (You're going to love this!) "Well, that was the easy part. I went to the chemist and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack and. Both tests came out positive!" ~~~~~~~~~~

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO HOUSTON WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLOND, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT. THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON. THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS. I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE." HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND SHE GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS. "I TOLD HER, FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HOUSTON.

<><><><><> A little puzzle or Whatever.. <><><><><>

Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without

a mistake. The average person can’t, but some people are not

average. ……….

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is an cat

This is old cat

This is person cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

When you have mastered the art of reading the lines aloud

without a mistake, then read only the third word in each line.

<><><><><> Have a great weekend everyone !! <><><><><>