Monday, June 19, 2006

Medley tonight.

Hello Everyone ~~ Thanks for the comments about

the jokes, and I have another couple tonight sent in an e-mail

from a friend. Thanks Warren.

Well, I watched the soccer too and got to bed at 4 am and

managed to get up by 9 am. as my Cleaning Lady was due.

So all looks clean and tidy again, and lots of laundry done

and airing. I can still do that. I hope our Socceroos do better

next match, but they were not disgraced.

I hope these jokes do not shock anyone !!

<><><><><>

Grandpa A grandson came to visit his grandparents and noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch

in the rocker, wearing only a shirt, naked from the waist down. "Grandpa, whatcha' doing? You're weenie's out in the wind for all to see!" he exclaimed. Grandpa looked off in the distance, not answering. "Grandpa, whatcha' doin' sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again. Grandpa looked at him and said, "Last week I sat here with no shirt on and got a stiff neck.

This is grandma's idea..." ******************************************************************

Sensitive Men Do Exist...

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. (Hundreds of cute, small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.) The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side. She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.

After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and she asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"

The guy says, "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

<><><><><><><>

<><><><> Some Drought Humour <><><><>

It is so dry in New South Wales (Australia) ……

The Red Cross has launched a wet blanket appeal.

If the English cricket team wasn’t touring we’d never see ducks.

We’re actually drinking the new Vanilla Coke.

You’re only permitted to eat watermelon between 8pm and 8am.

The Government has introduced a water pistol buyback scheme.

Thieves are syphoning off radiators instead of petrol tanks.

Jesus has turned the wine into water.

I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

When my daughter fainted it took 3 buckets os sand to bring her around.

All the dogs are marking their territory with chalk.

Some of the 4WDs in Double Bay have actually got dust on them.

<><><> Great Truths about Growing Old. <><><>

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.

Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

Forget about health food, I need all the preservatives I can get.

<><><> Bye for now ~ Be Happy, Merle.

12 comments:

LZ Blogger said...

You got to bed at 4:00 a.m.? Merle I had know idea you were such a party animal! LOL ~ jb///

JunieRose2005 said...

:)

The jokes were very funny-especially that first one!!

hahaha- makes perfect sense!

June

Karen said...

LOL No shock here, those were great.

I hope you have a good day and enjoy watching more football/soccer. I think you deserve a nap ;-)

Thomas LB said...

I can take the drought jokes and pass them around here in Texas- it's just as bad here on the other side of the planet.

Granny said...

Blogger is being cranky again and don't know if this will go through.

Jokes funny as usual.

Have a good day.

Ava said...

Greag post, as always!!!!!

Ava

bornfool said...

Funny stuff. Thanks, Merle.

Clare said...

Great jokes as always Merle and good on ya for staying up till 4am :).

Peter said...

Great drought jokes.

mreddie said...

Wow - staying up until 4am - sounds like something I would do. :) Well - until 2am anyway. The problem is that I don't bounce back very well the next day. :) ec

Michelle said...

The soccer was great! Love the drought joke Merle...sad though :(

Justine said...

Love the drought jokes Merle! We're farmers so a bit of light relief is VERY welcome.