Thursday, June 22, 2006

Read the Book.

Hello Folks ~~ I hope all is well with you and your family.

I had a call from my daughter today saying that she and

her husband and 3 youngest children are coming to visit

just for the weekend. I haven’t seen them since Christmas

so am looking forward to seeing them. The oldest two kids

will do the milking on their dairy farm, which is on the coast

of Victoria, close to the Twelve Apostles and the Great

Ocean Road. A tourist attraction of some note.

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Thanks to the folks who commented on The Mayonnaise Jar.

I edited it today and it is easier to read and enjoy. Blogger

does like to mix things up at times.

Now to find something to post……..

<><><><><> Read the Book <><><><><>

A man bought his wife a flash new car and as he handed her the manuel says: “Here’s everything you need to know about your new car.” He laid it down and shouted, “Come on, we’re going into town to celebrate your birthday.”

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Just as she headed out the door, the phone rang. It was their

neighbor wondering if anything was wrong, as the car horn was

honking continually.

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She hurried outside and said, “For Heaven’s sake, turn off the horn.”

He said :”I can’t. I’m not touching it and it still honks.”

“At least roll down the window, so I don’t have to shout.”

“ Can’t. They won’t work.”

“Well start the motor. Maybe that will stop the horn.”

“Can’t. Already tried it. It won’t start.”

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“Look in the manual and see what it says,” she said, between giggles.

“Can’t. The manual is in the house on the ktchen counter. Go in

and get it and read it to me.” His voice was getting hoarse from trying to shout

above the horn.

She hurried into the house, grabbed the manual and ran outside, and began to

thumb through the pages, then trying hard not to laugh while reading to him.

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“Okay. have you got the remote?”

He held it up for her to see.

“Okay. Just push the unlock button.”

For once he did not query the wisdom of this. He pushed “unlock” and the horn

quit honking, the door unlocked and when he turned the key, the motor

immediately leapt into action and purred like a kitten.. Then he opened the door

and walked around to the other side, saying, “You drive.”

<><><><><><><> Joke of the Day <><><><><><><>

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded

up Jack’s mini-van and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got

caught in a terrible blizzard.

So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive

woman who answered the door if they could spend the night.

“I realise it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself,

but I’m recently widowed,” she explained.

“I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.

“Don’t worry” said Jack, “we’ll be happy to sleep in the barn.

And if the weather breaks, “we’ll be gone at first light.”

The woman agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn, and settled

in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared and they got on their

way to enjoy a great weekend of skiing.

About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from the attractive

widow’s lawyer. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked :”Bob, do you

remember that good looking widow from the farm we stayed at

on our ski trip up north about nine months ago?”

“Yes I do,” said Bob.

“Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go to the house

and pay her a visit?”

“Well, um, yes,” Bob said, a little embarrassed,. I have to admit that I did.”

“And did you happen to use my name instead of telling her yours?”

Bob’s face turned beet red and he said: “ Yeah, Look I’m sorry.

buddy. I’m afraid I did. Why do you ask?”

“She just died, and left me everything.”

<><><><><><><> Couple of puzzles. <><><><><><><>

Q. What is it that everyone has, but is always used more by their friends

than by them?

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Q. I’m pointed in one direction, and headed in another. When

you drive me home, my purpose you’ll discover. What am I?

<><><><><> Answers in Comments. Bye now, Merle.

15 comments:

Merle said...

Hi Folks ~~ Did you figure them out?

Q1. Your name. Q 2. A nail.

Cheers, Merle.

Peter said...

Yay, I got 'em both.

Betti said...

the second one stumped me.

thanks for the riddles!

Sue said...

Got your first riddle and my husband got the second!
My brother and SIL are visiting Sydney right now. Her family lives there and they go over every other year. Looking on the map, it appears you are quite a ways from there!
(Map reading is not my strongest point, however) so feel free to correct me~~~
:-)

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ Loved the Memorable "Ski Trip" joke. As for the Puzzles.

I thought:
1) was MY GUILT
2) was MY WIFE!
(It MAY actually just be MY PERSPECTIVE! LOL!) ~ jb///

jel said...

hope u have a great visit with your daughter and her family :)


and the jokes were funny!!! :)

Ava said...

Hi Merle!

I hope that you have a great weekend and a good visit with your family!!!

Ava

somershade said...

your going to have a wonderful visit,I'm thrilled for you.

hubby got the first one correct and #2-road.
better than Wife (lz)funny

mreddie said...

So glad you are getting part of the family for a visit - I know it will be enjoyable for you. My older daughter and her two are here for the week and the other daughter with her four stayed the night Tuesday night - it was delightful but a mob scene. :) ec

Karen said...

*giggle*

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

That joke about the skiers threw me, not exactly what I was expecting but it was funny because of that.

Janice~

Jeanette said...

Hi Merle
Another good post .
When all else fails read the book.Have A lovely weekend with Daughter and Family
Take Care .Jan

Michelle said...

Have a great weekend with your family Merle, hope the weather stays fine for you all :o)

Donnak said...

I could have sworn I commented here yesterday - it's been one of those weeks! lol

Hope you have a great visit with your daughter and family! :)

Granny said...

I'm reading in my sleep and missed both of them. I should start saving yours until morning (my morning).