Monday, February 13, 2006

BITS and PIECES

My son John found these for me. They start off with an Editors Note: These may or may not be true. I have no idea. Some are verifiable, others are not. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. The national anthem og Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorised all 158 verses, There are 293 ways to make change of a dollar. The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey. The longest one syllable word is “screeched.” All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange or purple. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt.” All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill. Almonds are a member of the peach family. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance. Maine is the only state whose name is one syllable. There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous” : tremendous, horrendous, stupendous and hazardous. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. An ostrich’s eye is begger than it’s brain. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur. In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. In England the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. John Lennon’s first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball. “Stewardesses” is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand. *********************** Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old!” Well you are gonna love this joke. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist when I noticed his diploma hanging on the wall. It bore his full name and I suddenly remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name. He had been in my high school class some 40-odd years before and I wondered if he could be the same guy I had a secret crush on way back then.?? When I got into the treatment room I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was much too old to have been my secret crush…or was he??? After he examined my teeth I asked if he had attended Morgan Park High School. “Yes, I did. I’m a Mustang!” he said gleaming with pride. “When did you graduate?” I asked. “1959. Why do you ask?” he answered. “Well, you were in my class!” I exclaimed. Then the ugly, old wrinkled son of a bitch asked, “What did you teach?” ************************ Good one I think. Hope you got a smile out of some of this.

8 comments:

Peter said...

That's a definite "downer" what did you teach?
Good stuff Merle

bubba said...

Not only a laugh but I had to wipe some tears. thank you. I hope all is well with your loved ones.

Joy Des Jardins said...

Well, I don't know if some of those statements are true either Merle; but they're pretty interesting anyway. Thanks..and have a beautiful "heart" day.

mreddie said...

Smiles were present - it is so odd that I don't feel old as long as I don't look in the mirror. ec

LZ Blogger said...

Merle - These were GREAT! I guess someone must have gotten tired of typing with just their left hand. The call them Flight Attendants now so that they can be P.C. and gender neutral! Too bad I used to like the STU's best! ~ jb///

Karen said...

Interesting! Thanks for sharing those, I didn't know most of them.

Happy Valentine's Day! :-)

JunieRose2005 said...

Merle,

That joke had me LOL here! :)

Oh, my!! Imagine if that really happened!

Have a happy Valentine's Day!

June

Jamie Dawn said...

The one about almonds being in the peach family really got my interest. My mom is an almond marketer, so I have to ask her about this one.

I know that Valentine's Day has passed for you, but it is V-Day here right now.
I hope your life is filled with love... EVERY day.