Wednesday, February 08, 2006


I found a few more Aussie Jokes ~~~ How do you define 144 Australians? Gross stupidity. The Aussie pilot when asked for his height and position replied “ I’m 5’11” and sitting in the front seat. What do you call an Aussie who scores well in an IQ test A cheat. An Aussie is proof that God has a sense of humour. What do you call an Aussie with half a brain? Gifted. If Santa Claus, a smart Aussie and a dumb blonde were in a room, and you tossed in a hundred dollar note, who would grab it first? The blonde – the other two don’t exist. How many Aussies does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? Ten, One to make the batter and nine to peel the Smarties. What would you do if an Aussie throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. Did you hear about the Aussie who had a brain transplant? The brain rejected him a week later. What is the difference between Aussies and pigs? Pigs don’t turn into Aussies when they drink. What’s the difference between an Aussie and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once. Why do birds fly upside down over Australia? It’s not worth shitting on. Why was the Christ child not born in Australia? You’d have a job finding three wise men, much less a virgin. What do you call a field full of Australians? A vacant lot. Most Australians aren’t good at history, For example, they think Gandhi’s first name was Goosey Goosey, An Englishman, an Irishman, an Australian and a New Zealander were in a plane, getting ready to make their first parachute jump. The Englishman’s exit was spectacular; he leapt out of the plane with the cry “I am doing this for my country….” The Irishman leapt out immediately afterwards, calling out the same words. Then the New Zealander ripped the parachute off the Australian, pushed him out of the plane and cried “I’m doing this for my country….” Hope some of those gave you a giggle. They are NOT true, but they are funny. I really love this country and it’s people, but cannot see anything wrong with a joke or two. I must admit I don’t quite get the last one but guess there is rivalry between our two nations. We have quite a lot of New Zealanders in this country as well as many other folks from other countries. Mostly it works very well.


kenju said...

Merle, they are funny - and I know they aren't true. It's nice to poke fun at ourselves though; God knows we do it enough!

LZ Blogger said...

These were all cute Merle. )but we all know you REALLY LOVE your fellow countrymen even enough to poke a little humor at them! ~ jb///

Peter said...

Who's giving you all these kiwii, kick an Aussie jokes??

JunieRose2005 said...

They were funny-if NOT true!

There's nothing wrong with joking about ourselves!

Lol- being from the south in the USA we get a lot of Red-Neck jokes! (although I do not consider myself a red-neck!)

Also- the BLONDE jokes could be me these days, as I am blonde (by choice) and also fit the blonde mentality....sometimes!! :)


mreddie said...

Chuckles, Merle, your posts are always interesting or humorous or both. ec

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ Just stopped by and saw your niece Vicki's blog. Looks like Peter has really started something her with you girls! ~ jb///

Anonymous said...