Friday, February 24, 2006

Nice to be back on the air.

Hello everyone, Here I am with a nice new blogsite, which Peter and I hope will work, with no Jumbles. Hope you like the new site. Peter has worked hard getting me going again, and may never visit again !!!

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said implants?" She hit me.

4. I don't do drugs. I get the effect by standing up too quickly.

5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."

6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and ****head's.

11. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

14. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

15. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

7 comments:

bubba said...

I'm stealing some of those lines. Down right funny. I don't care who you are.

Joy Des Jardins said...

First of all....your site looks WONDERFUL Merle. Peter did a fantastic job....I love it! I think it definitely depicts... YOU! Secondly, that's some funny stuff...thanks. Enjoy your new site...I think you're going to have lots of fun with it. -Joy

kenju said...

I love the new template, Merle, so you and Peter did well! The jokes are great - I love #1 - and it is SO true!

mreddie said...

Yo bro did good! Spiffied the site up real nice. Can relate to #6, #9 is all too true and #14 was a good one too. ec

JunieRose2005 said...

;) very funny lines here!

I like #13 best! ;)

June

Big Dave T said...

Since I don't like to fly, I liked the "if flying is so safe . . "

They say that car crashes kill more folks than plane crashes. Ok, then why can I think of more famous people that have died in plane crashes.

John Denver
Glen Miller
Big Bopper
that Kennedy kid
the member of the Waltons (Wal-Mart family)
Minn. Senator Paul Wellstone
that pro golfer
Amelia Earhart

Other than Princess Diana and James Dean, I can't think of a celebrity offhand that was killed in a car wreck.

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ Cute post! I like the new look of the blogsite as well! ~ jb///