Saturday, May 13, 2006

Aussie Love Poem.

Of course I love ya darling

You’re a bloody top notch bird

And when I say ur gorgeous

I mean every single word

So ya bum is on the big side

I don’t mind a bit of flab

It means that when I’m ready

There is something there to grab

So your belly isn’t flat no more

I tell ya, I don’t care

So long as when I cuddle ya

I can get my arms around there

No sheila who is your age

Has nice round perky breasts

They just gave way to gravity

But I know ya did your best

I’m telling ya the truth now

I never tell ya lies

I think it’s very sexy

That you’ve got dimples on ya thighs

I swear on me nanna’s grave now

The moment when we met

I thought u was as good as

I was ever gonna get

No matter wot u look like

I’ll always love ya dear

Now shut up while the footy’s on

And get me another beer !!

<><><><><> Typical Aussie !! <><><><><>

<><><><><><><><> ~ Colonel Sanders. ~ <><><><>

After watching sales fall off for three months straight

at K F C, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a

favour. The Pope says. “What can I do?” The Colonel says,

“I need you to change the daily prayer from, ‘Give us this

day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily chicken’

If you do this, I’ll donate $10 million to the Vatican.”

The Pope replies, “I am sorry. That is the Lord’s Prayer and

I cannot change the words.” The Colonel hangs up.

<><><><>

After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel calls again.

“Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I’ll donate

$50 million if you change the words of the daily prayer from

‘Give us this day our daily bread’ to ‘Give us this day our daily

chicken’. The Pope responds, “It is very tempting, Colonel

Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much

money. It would help us to support many charities. But again,

I must decline. It is the Lord’s Prayer and I can’t change the

words.” So the Colonel gives up again.

<><><><>

After two more months of terrible sales, the Colonel gets

desperate. “This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you

change the words of the daily prayer from ‘Give us this day

our daily bread’ to ‘ Give us this day our daily chicken, I will

donate $100 million to the Vatican.” The Pope replies, “Let me

get back to you.”

<<><><>

So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and

he says, “I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that K F C is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican.” The bishops rejoice at the news. Then one asks

about the bad news. The Pope replies, The bad news is that

we lost the Tip-Top account.”

<><><><><>

<><><><> I hope you enjoyed those jokes and got a laugh.

A very happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers, grandmas and

even great grandmas. Have a happy day.

<><><><>

I am having “Hot Cakes and Maple Syrup” at McDonalds in

the morning with my son John. A hell of a lot better than being tied up. Don’t you think?

Last time I had this brekkie was with Jacqui and Walter. Thanks, Walter, your idea.

<><><><><>

10 comments:

Peter said...

Do we need to explain that Tip-Top is a major Bakery?? nah probably not.

Jacqui said...

Love the tip top story.

It's a bit too far for me to have Hot cakes & maple syrup as often as I would like them, I often make pancakes at home, but they just dont taste the same. We'll be back to have them with you again.

Marcus & co are coming for lunch tommorow, I'm going to cook lasagne and try Ann's cobbler, with apricots, I think.

Have a good day, love jacqui

Jacqui said...

Forgot to mention that yes I agree, Zac does look like Marcus and Peter.

I'm having trouble locating a recent photo of Adam, there's just him and Samuel to go, and then that's all the boys. Am waiting anxiously for a picture of Ezra.

Granny said...

Ann's cobber Jacqui? Good.

Happy Mothers Day to you Merle.

McDonalds does pancakes here too. I'm so hooked on their sausage and egg McMuffin with cheese, I've never tried them.

kenju said...

Have a wonderful Mother's Day, Merle.

I have to ask what a "footy" is?

JunieRose said...

;) Funny jokes, Merle!

.....and I must say those Aussie men are a lot like my Charles! hahaha

Happy Mother's Day!

Joy Des Jardins said...

Happy Mother's Day Merle!! Happy Hot Cakes!

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Happy Mother's day to you.

Footy is foot ball, is that the one we call soccer here in the states?

Brekkie is breakfast right? Ya got to Love Aussie!

Janice~

doubleknot said...

I must have missed the Aussie Love Poem before - I just love it. Now if we could get all the men to mean it things would be great.

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