Positive Thoughts.

Hi Folks ~~ I found another small poem that I thought

you might like. And the usual couple of jokes.

<><><> Positive Thoughts. <><><>

I am seeking positive thoughts today

To give me guidance along my way

Too many times the only color I see is blue

You know the deep down in your soul déjà vu

I’m thinking I’m on the right track

Then I look back

Seems I’m getting nowhere fast

Are the actors in my life’s play miscast?

So give me some positive thoughts today

Help me put aside my dismay

Say”Hey Girl you know what to do

Raise your head and work it through”

Thank you kindly, appreciate your advice

Enjoyed this little talking to

Just between me, myself, and you.

<><> Sage Largo. <><>

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Sheldon Cohen.

A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. during a downpour and somehow manages to get a taxi immediately. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Sheldon."

"Who?"

"Sheldon Cohen. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my cab being vacant during a rainstorm. It would have happened like that for Sheldon every single time."

"Well, no one is perfect. There are always a few clouds over everybody", stated the passenger.

"Not Sheldon. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star. He was more handsome and sophisticated than Cary Grant. He had a better body than Arnold in his prime. He was something. Somehow Sheldon just knew exactly how to make women happy. He had a memory like a computer; could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Notlike me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out."

"Wow, incredible, no wonder you remember him!"

"Well, I never actually met Sheldon."

“Then how do you know so much about him?”

“I married his ex-wife.”

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A 12 year old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the window wound down. “I’ll give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car” said the driver.

“No way”, replied the boy. “How about a bag of lollies and $10”? asked the driver. “I said no way,” replied the irritated youngster.

“What about a bag of juicy lollies and $50, eh?” quizzed the driver, still rolling slowly to keep up with the walking boy. “No, I’m not getting in the friggin’ car” answered the boy.

“OK, OK, I know what you want. I’ll give you $100 and a bag of lollies,” the driver offered. “NO”, screamed the boy.

“What will it take to get you in the car?” asked the driver with a long sigh. The boy replied, “Listen Dad, you bought the Volvo, you live with it.”

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Alcohol ~~ The perfect way to remove unwanted brain cells.

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In marriage there are three rings : the engagement ring,

the wedding ring, and the suffering.

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