Thursday, May 18, 2006

Positive Thoughts.

Hi Folks ~~ I found another small poem that I thought

you might like. And the usual couple of jokes.

<><><> Positive Thoughts. <><><>

I am seeking positive thoughts today

To give me guidance along my way

Too many times the only color I see is blue

You know the deep down in your soul déjà vu

I’m thinking I’m on the right track

Then I look back

Seems I’m getting nowhere fast

Are the actors in my life’s play miscast?

So give me some positive thoughts today

Help me put aside my dismay

Say”Hey Girl you know what to do

Raise your head and work it through”

Thank you kindly, appreciate your advice

Enjoyed this little talking to

Just between me, myself, and you.

<><> Sage Largo. <><>

<><><><><>

Sheldon Cohen.

A man walks to 5th Ave. & 42nd St. during a downpour and somehow manages to get a taxi immediately. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Sheldon."

"Who?"

"Sheldon Cohen. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my cab being vacant during a rainstorm. It would have happened like that for Sheldon every single time."

"Well, no one is perfect. There are always a few clouds over everybody", stated the passenger.

"Not Sheldon. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star. He was more handsome and sophisticated than Cary Grant. He had a better body than Arnold in his prime. He was something. Somehow Sheldon just knew exactly how to make women happy. He had a memory like a computer; could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Notlike me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out."

"Wow, incredible, no wonder you remember him!"

"Well, I never actually met Sheldon."

“Then how do you know so much about him?”

“I married his ex-wife.”

<><><><><><>

A 12 year old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him and the window wound down. “I’ll give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car” said the driver.

“No way”, replied the boy. “How about a bag of lollies and $10”? asked the driver. “I said no way,” replied the irritated youngster.

“What about a bag of juicy lollies and $50, eh?” quizzed the driver, still rolling slowly to keep up with the walking boy. “No, I’m not getting in the friggin’ car” answered the boy.

“OK, OK, I know what you want. I’ll give you $100 and a bag of lollies,” the driver offered. “NO”, screamed the boy.

“What will it take to get you in the car?” asked the driver with a long sigh. The boy replied, “Listen Dad, you bought the Volvo, you live with it.”

<><><><><>

Alcohol ~~ The perfect way to remove unwanted brain cells.

<><><><><>

In marriage there are three rings : the engagement ring,

the wedding ring, and the suffering.

<><><><><><>

17 comments:

Peter said...

Sheldon Cohen was a winner alright, he got rid of that wife !!
You haven't fixed that link up yet, sure it's only for the practice now but practice is what you need.
And you haven't fixed the blog links for Ms Vickie and Miss Cellania.

Karen said...

That was a wonderful poem :-) The jokes were fun too, thanks for starting my day with smiles.

Have a wonderful day!

kenju said...

Love the Sheldon joke, Merle!

Ms. Vickie said...

What a beautiful poem, I enjoyed it very much.
Thank you always sharing. I also enjoyed the jokes.

Ava said...

What a nice poem today.

The joke about the ex-husband was great!!!!!

Thank you!

Ava

Joy Des Jardins said...

Thanks Merle. I always like reading your little snippets of wisdom and humor.

Granny said...

The Volvo was funny. Girls loved mine but I bet they'd feel the same way now.

Sorry kids, you're stuck with a minivan unless you prefer to walk.

Gandksmom said...

Merle,
Where have you been all my life! I linked to you from someone else and I am so thankful that I did! I will bookmark you so I can come back and read some more, but God sure brought me your way today. I was down in the dumps and needing a good talking to! Thanks!
Wendy

JunieRose2005 said...

I always love reading your posts!

I've been busy today so am just now getting to catch up on some blogs!

June

mreddie said...

Much chuckling about the Volvo one - sounds like some kids I know. :) ec

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Funny as usual. I have a sister-in-law that was married to "Sheldon." He died and is on such a high pedistal that I don't know how her present husband puts up with her. I feel sorry for him because he can never live up to "Sheldon."

Michelle said...

Love that poem, one we should all do our best to follow. Have a super weekend Merle :o)

Jacqui said...

Hi Merle,
In the words of the song, the paving "has gone about as far as it could go"
We have run out of pavers, we bought them at a garage sale, and it looked plenty, we'll get some more to finish.
Neil & Joan McQuin are coming to stay for a couple of days, should be good catching up.
hugs jacqui

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I don't know which I like the best they all rock!LOL!

Janice~

Why Am I said...

Enjoyed this little talking to

Just between me, myself, and you"...nice poem!!...o yea and abt the festivals thingy...i know u didnt mean nething...just thot i wud throw some lite:)thanks for the comments..have a nice weekend!!!

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