Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Are You Afraid?

Hello My Friends ~~ Here we go again trying to find a post which will be of some interest to you.

I hope all those who are unwell and not feeling the best soon will feel better and at least be as comfortable as is possible.

To all the people who are carers and nurses, thank you for doing such a very important job with love and tenderness. Wonderful folks with hearts of gold.

<><><><><>

<><><><> ARE YOU AFRAID ? <><><><>

Afraid of thunder and lightning ?

Afraid of saying what you think and feel ?

Afraid of “giving yourself away “ and letting people see how deeply emotional you really are ?

Afraid of failing --- and thus afraid to attempt anything ?

Afraid of growing old and so grow older much quicker than you need ?

Afraid of letting anybody know you’re afraid ?

Take courage, friend ---- most of us are more afraid than anybody knows !!

<><><><><>

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got

fired ----- couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t

hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

Next was a job in a shoe factory, I tried but I just didn’t fit in

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I

couldn’t live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job as a pool maintenance man, but the

work was too draining.

So then I got a job in a gymnasium, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

I finally got a job as a historian until I realised there was no

future in it.

SO I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I AM A PERFECT FIT

FOR THE JOB !!!

<><><><><>

<><> A Joke called PRICELESS <><>

Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirin and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him all clean and pressed.

Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless and clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.

<><><><>

“Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping.

Love you.” So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table eating. Marty asks, “Son, what happened last night?”

His son says, “Well you came home after 3 am, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”

<><><><>

Confused, Marty asks, “So why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast on the table waiting for me ?”

His son replies, “Oh that ! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, “Lady, leave me alone, I’m married” “

<><><>

A self- induced hangover -- $100.00

Broken furniture ---$200.00

Breakfast --- $10.00

Saying the right thing __ PRICELESS.

<><><><>

<><><><> Lucky last one <><><><>

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker

is wearing an ear-ring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative

fellow and is curious about his sudden fashion change.

The man walks up to him and says: “I didn’t know you were into

ear-rings.”

“Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an ear-ring,” the co-worker replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity

prods him to ask: “So how long have you been wearing one ?”

“Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”

<><><> Bye until next time. Take care, Merle. <><><>

15 comments:

Tammy said...

I can really relate to the "afraid" bit...sometimes I reveal myself to others and get invalidated...ahh...you shouldn't feel that way...I hate that!! Don't tell me how to feel folks...does that make sense?
Hubby and I loved the earring joke...our son walked in with one the other day...within a day his ear swelled up to twice it's size...he had it removed and said he had learned his lesson...lmbo!!
Have a great day Merle!
:-D

Sue said...

We've had our morning laugh! Thanks Merle!

PEA said...

I think we can all relate to the Afraid one! I laughed so much at the job one...too cute!! Also love the one about the earring! Have a great day Merle!! xoxo

Ava said...

Just dropping in to say ehhlo! Hope you've had a great day!!

kenju said...

I had heard that earring joke before, but when I heard it - he was wearing a garter belt....LOL

Raggedy said...

Good post.
I love when the old jokes make a come back....
It was good to see them again...
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) huge huggles
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

Gandksmom said...

It takes a lot of energy to be afraid doesn't it? I know....I am afraid of everything!

M.E Ellis said...

I related to the afraid post. I might steal it for my own blogspot tomorrow if you don't mind.

Thanks for making me think.

:o)

Karen said...

The jobs joke was hilarious! Couldn't concentrate... ROFL

I'm afraid of some of those things, it's trying to overcome them that's important. I used to be afraid of trying anything new, for fear I'd fail and look like a fool. I figured out that I look more like a fool when I don't try. :-)

Have a great day *HUGS*

Meow said...

Thanks Merle, again your jokes were wonderul, I love visiting here ... always makes me smile.
Take care, Meow

mreddie said...

Saying the right thing has always been important - in every situation. ec

Jon Cox said...

Hahahahaha!!!! I love the job jokes! VERY HILARIOUS! :o)

Crazedmomof4 said...

I am like a blank canvas when it comes to joke. Most of the ones I've read here, I haven't heard before. keep it coming. Of course, maybe my mind is just blank! LOL BUt I Love The jokes! Thanks! I can always use a good laugh!

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Another "priceless" set of jokes!

Janice~

jel said...

the first two are priceless! :)

thanks
have a great day!