Friday, August 04, 2006

Ten Things God Won't Ask.

Hello Everyone ~~ I hope all is well with you and that the weather

is not being too unkind to you, It has been a nice day here today,

even with sunshine. Another week is over,it’s amazing how quickly

they go by. Whether you are having fun or not.!! I am sorry my

spanner” was a strange word for some. I believe they are called

a “wrench.” No wonder

the man in the joke never got to borrow one, they didn’t know

what he wanted !! Thank you Kathy for leaving a comment explaining

what a spanner was in Australia.

<><><><><>

<><><> A quick Easy Recipe for you <><><>

1 ½ lbs of Minced Steak (Ground Beef)

1 chopped onion, salt and pepper, a little oil

1 can of any sort of soup ( celery or tomato or ?)

1 packet of frozen mixed vegetables. (or use fresh vegs.)

Brown meat in oil in frying pan or large saucepan, then

slightly cook onion.

Mix everything together and cook ½ to ¾ of an hour.

You can add anything to it, bell peppers (capsicum)

celery. Very easy, and it’s tasty.

<><><><>

<><> An E mail sent to me by a Friend. <><>

TEN THINGS GOD WON’T ASK.

1. God won’t ask what kind of car you drove. He’ll ask how

many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.

<><><><>

2. God won’t ask the square footage of your house. He’ask

how many people you welcomed to your home.

<><><><>

3. God won’t ask abut the clothes you had in your closet.

He’ll ask how many you helped to clothe.

<><><><>

4. God won’t ask what your highest salary was. He’ll ask

if you compromised your character to obtain it.

<><><><>

5. God won’t ask what your job title was. He’ll ask if

you performed your job to the best of your ability.

<><><><><>

6. God won’t ask how many friends you had. He’ll ask

how many people to whom you were a friend.

<><><><>

7. God won’t ask what neighborhood you lived in. He’ll

ask how you treated your neighbors.

<><><><>

8. God won’t ask the color of your skin. He’ll ask about

the content of your character.

<><><><>

9. God won’t ask why it why it took so long to seek salvation.

He’ll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven and not to

the gates of hell.

<><><><>

10. God won’t ask how many people you forwarded

this to. He already knows your decision.

<><><><>

I received this from someone who thinks I’m a “keeper.”

So I’ve sent it to the people I think of in the same way.

Now it’s your turn to send it to the people who are “keepers” in

your life.

<><><>

Good friends are like stars, you don’t always see them but you

know they are always there. Keep them close.

<><><><><>

<><><><> Some Marriage Humour. <><><><>

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?”

I said, “Dust.”

<><><><>

In the beginning God created earth and rested.

Then God created man and rested. Then God created

woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

<><><><>

Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

<><><><>

First guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel !”, Second guy :

“ You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

<><><><>

How do most men define marriage? An expensive way

to get laundry done for free.

<><><><>

Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go

through life thinking they had no faults at all.

<><><><>

If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided

attention to every word you say talk in your sleep.

<><><><>

The most effective way to remember your wife’s

birthday is to forget it once.

<><><><>

Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what

real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.

<><><><>

<><><> And a Joke to Finish with called Bear Hunter. <><><>

A Man wakes up one morning to find a bear on the roof.

So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there’s an

ad for a bear remover.He calls the number and the bear remover

says he will be over in 30 minutes.

He arrives, and gets out of his van. He’s got a ladder, a baseball

bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

<><><><>

“What are you going to do,” the homeowner asks.

“I’m going to put this ladder up against the roof,

hen I’m going to walk up there and knock the bear

off the roof with this baseball bat. The bear will be

subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the

back of the van.”

<><><><>

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

“What’s the shotgun for?” asks the homeowner

“If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.”

<><><><>

<> Well that is enough, take care folks and have a great

weekend. Enjoy your life, Merle. <>

12 comments:

Sue said...

I truly think you are a "keeper"
Thanks for brightening my day and the days of so many of us!
:-)

Puss-in-Boots said...

Ten things God won't ask! Very thought provoking and sooo true. Love the jokes, keep them coming.

Take care

Joy Des Jardins said...

I love this post Merle....I also know God won't ask if you have the proper insurance....HE takes EVERYONE! Thanks Merle.

Raggedy said...

Yup yip yep..you are a keeper!
Another great post!
Thanks...

Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) huge huggles
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ There were some funny ones here. I won't say which I thought was the funniest (just in case my wife reads this) But I remember her birthday EVERY YEAR NOW! ~ jb///

PEA said...

Yup you are a keeper for sure:-) I've copied down the recipe, thanks so much for sharing it, it certainly does sound delicious!! I loved all the jokes too, very good ones!! Take care Merle xoxo

Da Gal said...

Hiya Merle - that recipe looks nummy and I love the ten things god won't ask. How true!

Hope blogger is treating you better. It was causing a big ol mess on my end last week too and still won't let me upload a pic when I want.

Hope you are staying warm and looking forward to spring!

Sling said...

Hi Merle..I just dropped in from Apos' site..Enjoyed your site!..

Meow said...

Hey Merle, another great post. The recipe sounds yummy ... perfect for when you have no idea what to make !!
Hope you are well, and enjoying this wonderful sunny weather we are having (I'm guessing it is the same out your way, as it is down here ).
Take care, hugs to you, Meow

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Love the post with the jokes on husbands especially the one-Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

It reminded me of one my cousin Ann told me:

Women have many fault,
but men have only two,
everything they say
and everything they do!

Janice~

Tammy said...

I just wanted to tell you Merle, I have told that spaghetti joke to whoever would listen and everybody just gets a hoot out of it!!
Loved this post too!
:-D

Granny said...

I just started something similar to that recipe in the crock pot. Not sure what it will turn into tomorrow.

Stew? Possibly.

Love the jokes.