Friday, August 25, 2006

Drivers etc

Hi Everyone ~~ The end of another week here in

Australia with the weekend looming. One of the things

I do regularly is to run my security scans on Saturday.

And so far they have not found any serious problems,

for which I am very thankful.

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I have a recipe for a sweet that I make in Summer.

It is called Passionfruit Cream.

1 packet Passionfruit or Pineapple jelly

¾ cup of boiling water. Make jelly and cool.

½ cup sugar or sugar substitute

1 egg . Beat these together.

Add ¾ cup of milk and stir together

Add the pulp of 1 passionfruit.

Then add to cooled jelly and refrigerate.

<><><><> Not too inspiring, but it is very nice. <><><><>

Now I am going to alienate all the male drivers!!!

<><> What is a man Driver ? <><>

A man driver is the supercilious counterpart of that

intelligent user of the roads – a woman driver ( one of

which is me). A man driver is so smug about his

comparative prowess that he cannot see past the end of

his nose, which is probably why he makes so many mistakes

while driving. A man driver is a person who thinks that a

split second should be defined as a period of time between

the moment the traffic light turns green, and the moment

he should start blowing his horn.

<><><>

Man drivers come in many varieties, but from my experience,

they all have one thing in common – they adore hugging

curves. The main trouble is to convince them that the curves

they should hug are the ones that border the roadside. A man

driver seems to think that the faster he drives the smarter

he is regarded, but he’d do well to remember that the best

way to see 90 is not to try to see it on te speedo.

<><><>

The only reason a man driver is so much to the fore is that

there happens to be more of them, but I would remind him

that quantity is not nearly so important as quality. I am

quite sure, especially speaking as an experienced woman

driver, that I am more than prepared to give any man driver

on the highway, the half of the road to which he is entitled ---

that is, provided he can make up his mind which half he wants.

<><><><><>

Sorry fellas, please keep in mind that I no longer drive !!

<><><>

Here’s a joke for the menfolk.

A man woke up one morning to see his wife standing by the

bed in a skimpy negligee, She was carrying a velvet rope.

She purred at him: “Tie me up and do anything you like.”

So he tied her up, and went fishing.!!!

<><><><><>

A man had just read a book called “You can be the Man of your

House. He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to

his wife. Pointing a finger in her face he said sternly :” From

now on, you need to know that I am the man of the house, and

my word is law.

You will provide me a gourmet meal tonight and when I’m

finished that you will serve me a sumptious dessert.”

(Note frm Merle, I think this lad is heading for trouble !!)

“Then after dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me,

and we will do what I want.

After that, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax.

You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.

Then you will massage my feet and hands. After that is done

guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?”

His wife replied: “ The funeral director would be my guess.”

<><><><><><>

<><><> The Guy To Watch <><><>

You watch the guy who drives ahead

And the guy who drives behind;

You watch to the left, and watch to the right,

And drive with a calm clear mind.

<><>

But the guy you really have to watch

On the highway, you will find

Is the guy behind the guy ahead,

And ahead of the guy behind.

<><><><><>

<><> Finally a few thoughts for you. <><>

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

--Elbert Hubbard.

Whoever retains the natural curiosity of childhood

is never bored or dull. Anonymous.

On Death.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn’s rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there, I did not die. Anon.

<><><>

In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there

was in me an invincible summer. –Albert Camus.

You don’t drown by falling in the water.

You drown by staying there. –Anon.

That’s it for tonight. Stay well and stay happy, Merle.

<><><>

8 comments:

Sue said...

I tried several times to comment but blogger is being beasty. We had that poem printed on my Mom's memorial folder after she passed. I find it so meaningful...
((hugs))

PEA said...

Hugs Merle!! Ooooh that recipe sounds so light and scrumptious, I'll definitely be trying it!! Loved all the jokes...about time men get blamed for a few things!! hehe Have a wonderful weekend dear Merle:-) xoxo

Pamela said...

Merle, Thanks so much for visiting me the other day. I love that I found your blog, and was curious if you mind someone making a copy of some of the jokes or poems or if that would not be proper...Thanks for the smile!

Susiebadoozie said...

i like the funeral director joke.

and i like being childish too. so i guess i like that one too.

but i'm guilty of being a "man" driver. woops!!

Susiebadoozie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Granny said...

I don't know if you've ever noticed that Camus quote is at the bottom of every email I send. It's helped me through some trying times.

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

My grandmother's funeral pamlet (sorry can't recall what it's called) it has the same on death poem.

Take care.

Janice~

Raggedy said...

Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one