Sunday, August 13, 2006

A Terrible Moment.

Hi Everyone ~~ Well my weekend is over as it’s Sunday

evening and it has been quite a nice couple of days. BUT

My football team, Carlton could not win - AGAIN !!

Thank Goodness there is more to life than football, but

it is a major source of entertainment. And disappointment.

There is always next year !!

<><><>

<><><> A story tonight called A Terrible Moment. <><><>

Her hair was in wild disorder. Her face was flushed, and her eyes flashing. She clenched and unclenched her fingers in

an agony of despair.

<><><>

Unless her looks belied her, she was a deeply injured and

desperate woman. Her indignation and anger were allied with

keen despondency.

“Cruel one; oh cruel one,” she cried, in anguished tones.

“I have borne with you too long ! You have injured me, you

have tortured me, and yet I could not bear to give you up.

When first we met,” she continued, “how your ease and

polish attracted me ! When you became my very own, how

my friends envied me ! But your understanding is too small

for my large soul. You have ruined my standing in society.

If we had never met, I might have walked in peace. So now

begone ! We part for ever ! ”

<><><>

There came a moment’s compulsive breathing, a gritting of

teeth and a sharp cry. It was all over. By an almost super-

human effort, she had pulled off her new shoes.

<><><><>

<><><> Indeed – A Terrible Moment. <><><>

<><><>

Ever bought a new product and couldn’t quite understand

what all the advertising terms meant. We are here to help.

<><>

NEW – Different color from previous design

ALL NEW – Parts not interchangeable with previous design.

ADVANCED DESIGN – The advertising agency doesn’t

understand it.

EXCLUSIVE – Imported Product.

UNMATCHED – Almost as good as the competition.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION – No provision for adjustments.

IT’S HERE AT LAST – Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

FIELD TESTED –Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

HIGH ACCURACY – Unit on which all parts fit.

FUTURISTIC – No other reason why it looks the way it does

REDESIGNED – Previous flaws fixed – we hope.

DIRECT SALES ONLY – Factory had a big argument with

the distributor.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – We finally got one to work.

BREAKTHROUGH – We finally figured out a use for it.

MAINTENANCE FREE – Impossible to fix.

MEETS ALL STANDARDS = Ours, not yours.

SOLID STATE – Heavy as anything.

HIGH RELIABILITY – We made it work long enough to ship it.

<><><><><><>

<><><> 10 Chocolate Rules. <><><>

1. If you’ve got chocolate on your hands, you’re eating it

too slowly.

2. Chocolate covered sultanas, cherries, orange slices and

strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

3. The problem: How to get 2 blocks of chacolate home from

the shop in a hot car. Solution: Eat it in the car park.

4. Diet Tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It will take

the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.

5. If calories are an issue, store your chocolates on top of

the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights and they will

jump out to protect themselves.

6. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white

chocolate. This equates to a balanced diet.

7. Money talks. Chocolate sings.

8. Chocolates have many preservatives. Preservatives make

you look younger.

9. Question: Why is there no such organization as Chocolates

Anonymous? Answer. Because no one wants to quit.

10. Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do.

That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.

<><><> And lastly a quote …. <><><>

Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should

relax and get used to the idea !!!

<><> That is it Folks. I’ll be back, Merle. <><>

<><><><><><>

18 comments:

Kathy said...

Merle mate... You are following the wrong footy team . Go for the Eagles mate. They will chase away the BLUES!!!!!
Hee Hee Hee !!!!

Karen said...

How true the advertising terms are! LOL

I'm sorry your team didn't win, let's hope for the next game. Utah just approved a new soccer stadium to be built in Salt Lake, finally, we're coming out of the dark ages ;-) Now if we could only get a decent pro baseball team and a pro football team.

Have a wonderful day!

JunieRose2005 said...

Hi Merle,

I would have bet that first one would be....'She threw her computer out the window!!!' :)


Loved the CHOCOLATE thing too!
YES! I LOVE chocolate!


Junie

rhapsody said...

Thanks Merle!

Will apply the chocolate rules ASAP!

Mom Called Me Sadie said...

You're such a delightful lady..and your sense of humor is divine. I enjoy coming here. Have a great rest of Sunday.

Sue said...

Those chocolate rules look like ones I could live by :-)
Enjoyed your post as always...

Granny said...

I'm sorry about Carlton and my abysmal baseball Giants as well.

Love the ideas about chocolate. Life wouldn't be complete without it.

Tammy said...

that's right...I'll do as I please...pass that chocolate strawberry please!!!
:-D

Joy Des Jardins said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the 10 Chocolate Rules Merle.....UNFORTUNATELY! I've always been a Chocoholic! It ALWAYS sings to me! Thanks sweetie....

Puss-in-Boots said...

I always stick to the chocolate rules - as evidenced by the increase in kgs! As for Carlton? Hmmmmm, better swap to the Lions, especially now that Aker's gone lol! At least you haven't got Eddie McGuire breathing down your neck lol.

Have a good week. Hugs.

Jeanette said...

HI Merle
Indeed a terrible moment.
I love chocolates, except the coffee ones yuk ..
GO TIGERS !!!!!
Take Care, Jan xxx

somershade said...

Love #4 I'm going to try that one right now.
Sorry about your team:(

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I, too, am glad there is more to life than football! That reminds me, there may be an American football game on TV at the moment. So I gotta go.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

So sorry about your team Merle. You win some and you loose some.

Love your post, but when I got to the chocolates and especially #5, I started laughing and couldn't stop. That has got to be one of the funniest top ten lists of Chocolate Rules.
I am going to send it to my Aunt Virginia...she'll get the biggest kick out of it.

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I l-o-v-e chocolate, and I loved your chocolate jokes.

Sorry about your team, better luck next year.

Janice~

jel said...

hi Merle,
me to sorry about your team :(

but i like the post about the chocolate :0>


have a great day!

Lucy Stern said...

Well your advertising terms are right on target. Thanks.

Meow said...

Looooove the chocolate list ... all very true, as far as I'm concerned. And the quote on woman and cats ... I have been telling my hubby this one for years !!
I can relate to your footy woes ... I barrack for Hawthorn ... need I say more !!
Take care, Meow