Thursday, August 17, 2006

Dirty Dishes.

Howdy Friends ~~ We are having some lovely weather

here at present and there are signs that Spring is on

it’s way. A few blossom trees around and the yellow

wattle trees everywhere.

I hope that as our Winter is leaving us, that the very

hot weather of the Northern Summer is easing up some.

I know it has been very trying for many of you.

<><><><>

<><><> A litle ditty called “Dirty Dishes” <><><>

Thank God for dirty dishes . . . .

They have a story to tell;

And by the stack I have, it seems that

We are living very well.

And whilst people of other countries starve

I haven’t the heart to fuss . . . .

For by this stack of evidence,

God’s awfully good to us !!

<><><><>

<><><> What is a Politician ? <><><>

The politician stands upright and straightens

up his tie and says: “My friends, unless it rains,

the weather will be dry.”

And when this thought into our brains has

percolated through, we common people nod our

heads and loudly cry, “How true !”

<><><>

The politician looks around, clears his august

throat and says, “The ship will never sink so long

as it’s afloat !”

Wherat we roll our solemn eyes, applaud with

main and might, and slap each other on the back,

while we say, “He’s right !”

<><><>

The politician waxes stern, his drone becomes a

roar. He yells, “I say to you, my friends, that two

and two make four !”

And thereupon our doubts dissolve, our fears are

put to rout, and we agree that here’s a man who

knows what he’s about.

<><><> Frightening isn’t it ? <><><>

And another joke from the newspaper.

Noah Webster and his secretary were spending

a great deal of time together working on the

latest Webster’s Dictionary.

After one very long tiring day, Noah suggested

to his attractive young secreyary, that they take

a break and rest on he lounge.

Noah, grateful for his secretary’s hard work,

slipped an arm around her waist and planted a little

kiss on her cheek.

Just then the door opened and there stood Mrs.

Webster. “Why Noah,” she exclaimed, I am

surprised,”

“No Martha,” Noah responded, “ You are astonished.

We are surprised.”

<><><><>

<><><> THE PLANE <><><>

A plane leaves Los Angeles airport under the control

of a Jewish captain. His co-pilot is Chinese. It is the

first time they have flown together and an awkward

silence between the two seems to indicate a

mutual dislike.

<><><>

Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain

activates the auto pilot, leans back in his seat, and

mutters, “I don’t like Chinese”

“No rike Chinese?” asks the co-pilot, “why not?”

<><><>

“You people bombed Pearl Harbor, that’s why !”

“No, No,” the co-pilot protests, “Chinese not bomb

Pearl Harbor. That was Japanese, not Chinese.”

“Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese. . . doesn’t matter

You’re all the same.”

<><><>

There is a few minutes of silence. “No rike Jews !”

the co-pilot suddenly announces.

“Why not ?” asks the captain.

“Jews sink the Titanic,” the co-pilot responds.

“Jews didn’t sink the Titanic !” exclaims the captain.

“It was an iceberg !”

<><><>

“Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg, no

matter . . . . all same !”

<><><><>

Finally a few thoughts . . . .

You are only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry.

Don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowes along

the way. – Walter Hagen – American golfer.

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny

matters, compared to what lies within us.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson.

God does not ask about your ability.

He asks about your availability. Anonymous.

If you can walk

You can dance.

If you can talk

You can sing. Traditional Zimbabwe.

Achieving starts with believing. Anon.

Bye for now, Take care of each other, Merle.

<><><><>

14 comments:

Peter said...

Timely inclusion of the politician as we are being bombarded with political crap for a state election on Sept 9th.

Tammy said...

my favorite today was the Noah Webster...lol!!!
Have a great spring day Merle!!!
:-D

Raggedy said...

Good post.
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

JunieRose2005 said...

My favorite of today was the one about the politician!

:) So true too!!

June

Diane said...

Hi, Merle, and by all means, you may use the "A Womas's Tears" quote on my blog. I don't have ownership of it and I borrowed it from another blogging friend, much like you are about to do.

Have a great week, my friend. :-)

Diane

Jon Cox said...

I like the plane joke! :o) The few thoughts are great too! Thank you so much for stopping by! :o)

Mountain Mama said...

I like them all but especially 'The Plane.' LOL
I thought you were added to my links but don't see you there so will try to do that now. I really like your jokes!!!
They make my heart happy.

PEA said...

Fun reading as usual...I love the way you put jokes as well as sayings and thoughts:-) Gotta love that plane joke!! lol I have a few good ones I've received and will be sending them on to you...if you want to use them, go ahead:-) Heading out to the birthday party now...have a great day Merle! xoxo

Clare said...

Hi Merle

Great jokes as always and I especially liked the Dirty Dishes Ditty :).

August has been quite cool here compared to July. There are actually some blades of green grass showing in the parks now amongst the brown.

Clare

Granny said...

Loved the political poetry.

Mom Called Me Sadie said...

I too, like the Dirty Dishes poem. I've heard it before, but forgot all about it. There are blessing surrounding us.

You're such a delight!

Have a good day, Merle.

Sue said...

Loved the Noah Webster and also the dirty dishes!
thanks Merle :-)
((hugs))

Puss-in-Boots said...

Love the pollie joke. We have a State election on 09 Sept and maybe I should send that to Beattie and Springborg lol! It's only been a couple of days and already I'm sick of the promises that won't be kept and all the rhetoric that means sweet b...... all!

There, that's my beef for the day.

Thanks for the jokes, dear Merle, they more than make up for politicians.

Take care

Hugs oxox

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Always a pleasure to read your blog, you always have some gems of wisdom to impart or a joke or two and my favorite this time was the politican.

Later Janice~