Grandmas.

Hello ~~ It’s Me Again Margaret - The title of a great

Ray Stevens’ song. I hope all is well, all OK here. Well

today I went to the hairdresser by taxi and she permed

my hair which was long and terrible; now it is short and

looking much better. And no-one to see and nowhere to go !!

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Last night in Australia we had a Census form to fill out

and now wait to have them collected. I guess most of your

countries have them also. They work out where to build

schools, hospitals etc and count us every 5 years.

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<><><> What is a Grandma ? <><><>

A grandmother is a lady who has no children of her own, so

she likes other people’s little girls.

(A Grandfather is a man Grandmother. He goes for walks

with the boys, and they talk fishing and things like that.)

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Grandmas don’t have anything to do except be there. It is

enough if they drive us to the supermarket where the

pretend horse is, and have lots of coins ready. Or if they

take us for walks, they slow down past pretty leaves and

caterpillars. They never say “Hurry Up.”

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Usually they are plump, but not too plump to tie kid’s shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear. They don’t have to

be smart, only answer questions like why dogs hate cats, and

how come God isn’t married.

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They don’t talk visitors’ talk like visitors do, because it is hard

to understand. When they read to us, they don’t skip words,

or mind if it is the same story again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, because they

are the only grown-ups who have time.

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<><><><> Joke of the Day <><><><>

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York

City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of

how the store operates. You may only visit the store once.

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There are 6 floors and the attributes of the men increase as

the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch you may choose any man from a

particular floor or you may choose to go up a floor, but you

cannot go back down, except to exit e building.

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So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign reads : Floor 1 --These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads : Floor 2 --These men have jobs and

love kids.

The third floor sign reads : Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love

kids and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” the woman thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

The sign reads : Floor 4 –These men ave jobs, love kids, are

drop dead good looking and helps with the housework.

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“Oh, my God !” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it.”

Still she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads “ Floor 5 –

These men have jobs, love kids, are drop dead gorgeous, help

wih the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

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She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6^th floor and

the sign reads – Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to

this floor. There are no men on this floor.

This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible

to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

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<><><> Understanding Advertising Slogans. <><><>

A number of different approaches are being tried.

Translation – We are still grasping at straws.

Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured.

Translation – We are so far behind schedule the

customer should be happy just to get it delivered.

Test results were extremely gratifying.

Translation – We were so surprised the stupid thing worked.

The entire concept will have to be abandoned.

Translation -The only person who understood the thing quit.

We’ll look into it.

Translation – Forget it, we have enough problems for now.

Please read and initial.

Translation – Let’s spread the responsibility around for the

mistakes.

Rugged.

Translation – Too heavy to lift,

Lightweight.

Translation – Lighter than rugged.

Energy saving.

Translation – When the power switch is off.

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<><><> A Thought to Finish <><><>

Offering hope to others through a loving word, a thoughtful

act, or a simple smile is the surest way to lift your own spirit.

---- Lain Chroust Ehmann.

<><><> Bye till next time. Take care friends, Merle. <><><>