Thursday, August 17, 2006

My Wish for You.

Hello my friends ~~ Here we go again with not

a clue what to post at the moment, so I will

have to look through a book or two to see what

I can come up with. I cooked a chicken in the

microwave today and roasted lot of vegetables

and dished up 9 dinners, so it’s good to sit down.

<><><><>

<><><> My Wish For You. <><><>

MAY YOU HAVE . . . .

Enough happiness to keep you sweet,

Enough trials to keep you strong,

Enough sorrow to keep you human,

Enough hope to keep you happy

Enough failure to keep you humble,

Enough success to keep you eager,

Enough friends to give you comfort,

Enough wealth to meet your needs,

Enough enthusiasm to look forward,

Enough faith to banish depression,

Enough determination to make each day

better than yesterday and lots of love.

<><><><>

A man met a beautiful woman and he decided

he wanted to marry her right away.

“But we don’t know anything about each other,”

she said. He said that was OK, they would

learn about each other as they went along.

So she agreed and they were married, and went

on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.

<><><>

One morning, they were lazing round the pool, when

he got up, climbed the 10 m board and did a perfect

2 ½ tucks followed by 3 rotations in jack-knife

position, straightened up and cut the water like a

knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back

and lay down on a towel.

“That was incredible !” she said. To which he replied:

“I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told

you we’d learn more about ourselves as we went along.

<><><>

So she jumped in the pool, and started doing laps.

After about 30 laps she climbed out and lay down on her

towel, hardly out of breath.

“That was incredible !” the man said. “Don’t tell me. You

were an Olympic distance swimmer?”

“No,” she said, I was a hooker in Venice and I worked

both sides of the canal.”

<><><><><>

A Red Cross office realised that the organisation had

never received a donation from the town’s most

successful lawyer.

The person in charge of contributions called to persuade

him to contribute.

“Our research shows that, out of a yearly $500,000, you

don’t give a cent to charity,” the Red Cross guy said.

“Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some

way?”. The lawyer mulled this over for a moment before

replying. “First, did your research show that my mother

is very ill and has medical bills several times her annual

income?” the lawyer asked.

<><><>

Embarrassed, the Red Cross rep mumbled: “Um, no.”

The lawyer interrupted, “Or that my disabled brother is

blind and confined to a wheelcair?”

The stricken Red Cross rep began to stammer out an

apology, but was interrupted again. “Or that my sister is

a recent widow, penniless with three children?”

<><><>

The humiliated Red Cross rep, completely beaten, said

simply: “I had no idea.”

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again.

“So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give

any to you?”

<><><><><><>

A smile is good for your health – and the health of others.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

Be grateul when you are feeling good, and graceful when

you’re feeling bad.

Be nice to your children – they choose your nursing home.

<><><><>

<><> Bye for now, ‘till next time, take care, Merle. <><>

14 comments:

Susie said...

Morning Merle!
We enjoyed your lawyer and the Red Cross
joke today.
have a great day!!

TJ said...

Love You Merle!!!
:-D

Karen said...

I wish you the same things, Merle :-)

I like cooking ahead too, less fuss when I don't have time to cook.

Have a wonderful day :-) Love & hugs!

somershade said...

You cooked a whole chicken in a microwave.Thats great,tell me how.
And thanks for the giggles today,and the wish.

Pear tree cottage! said...

Merle,
You ar such a treasure. what a lovely post goodmorning by the way! it is raining here yippee!

many hugs to you today <^..^>

Carole Burant said...

Good evening Merle:-) I was pickling today so I'm late in reading posts...I'm still laughing at the lawyer/Red Cross joke!!! Take care! Hugs xoxo

Peter said...

Hi Merle, great lawyer joke.

mreddie said...

I'm sure it was good to get off your feet after all that. So true about a smile being good for one's health and the health of others. ec

Granny said...

I like the lawyer joke.

Puss-in-Boots said...

Love the funnies, as usual. I know I will have a good laugh when I read your post. It's on my list of favourites.

My mum sent me a fridge magnet which reads: "Live long enough to be a problem for the kids" I quite like that, a bit of pay back maybe? Lol.

Hope you enjoyed your meal after all that work.

Take care for now, dear Merle.

Hugs,

Robyn

Annette said...

Merle,

Both my hubby and I laughed at the the diver swimmer joke and the lawyer/redcross rep joke. Thanks for the laughs!

Annette

Michelle said...

Hi Merle, glad your tests came back well :)

Your chicken dinners sound delicous, its 5.30pm and i am starving!

Janice Seagraves said...

Hi Merle,

Your lawyer joke reminded me of something:

A true story!

My daughter Sarah told me that after watching the comercials that tell about these starving children in third world countries (that are make you feel sorry for them), that one entire class at her school decided that they would adopt one child each.

After saving their allowance, and mowing lawns. or what-ever odd jobs they did to get the money together the students finally send it in.

In a few weeks each student got their package that was suppose to have a photo of their one and only poor starving child, that they had adopted, and a letter from that child as well.

The students proudly brought the packages, and photos back to school to show each other.

Inside each and every package was the EXACT same photo of the EXACT same child!

Janice~

Raggedy said...

hahaha at last line there....
another good post!
Hugs