Saturday, March 04, 2006

Blonde jokes.

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after

just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.: The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch,inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, {I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.” The telegraph operator

explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds “ it’s 99 cents

a word.”

Well after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she will only be able to send her sister one word. After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, “I want you to send her the word “Comfortable” “

The operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bul back to your ranch if you send her just the word “comfortable”?

The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde. The word’s big. She’ll read it very slowly – com-for-da-bul.”

Subject : Love Dress.

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son’s house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the

daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress.” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

My husband loves me to wear this dress,” she explained. “It

excites him no end! Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end.

He can’t get enough of me.”

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there provocatively. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“This is my love dress,” she whispered sensually.

“Needs ironing,” he said, “What’s for dinner?”

His FUNERAL will be eld Thursday........

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?” “Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?” “Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They are a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble.”

“I’d be happy to”, said the blonde.

So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts.

Off they went. Five hours later, the truck driver was drivingthrough the heart of San Dego when suddenly he was horrified!

There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde.

“What the heck are you doing here?” he demanded, I gave you

$100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.”

“Yes, I know you did,” said the blonde, “but after the zoo we had money left over--- so now we’re going to Sea World.”

Well, I thought they were funnny!! Cheers everyone, Merle.

4 comments:

bubba said...

Indeed. Very funny. I liked them very much

LZ Blogger said...

Funny stuff Merle. I think I know this blonde too! But it hard to know... there were so many of them in California! ~ jb///

JunieRose2005 said...

Very funny, Merle! :)

kenju said...

HA! comfortable - I love it.