Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Short Post

This will be a short post tonight as it has been a hectic day.

Finally I got Broadband on and working- with only two phone calls to Peter. It is great being able to talk while on the internet. John has also been here, ringing and e-mailing.

He is playing Darts tonight. He is very good at that and has

heaps of trophies as he wins often.

Couple of jokes…….

There’s a shooting gallery among the sideshows at the Royal

Melbourne Show, with a row of very battered ducks marching across the back of the tent.

A drunk weaves into view and demands a go at “the Ping Ping Ping.”

The stallholder thinks it might be a bit dangerous and tries to talk him out of it, but the drunk insists.

Eventually the stallholder agrees, after all business has been quiet.

The drunk knocks three ducks over, “ping,ping,ping”.

“Struth.” says the stallholder, “you’ve won a prize>”

So he reaches under the counter and pulls out a small live tortoise from a bucket.

“Beauty,” says the drunk and he staggers off.

A while later he fronts up again, if anyting slightly more

inebriated, demanding another go.

This time the stallholder is even more reluctant to hand over the air rifle, but there’s not exactly a queue of customers waiting. So he gives the bloke another go.

“Ping, ping, ping” and down go three tin ducks.

“Blimey,” says the stallholder in astonishment, you’ve won

another bloody prize.”

And reaching down, he presents the drunk with a kewpie doll.

“What’s that?” the drunk asks.

“It’s your prize, a kewpie doll,” says the shooting gallery bloke.

“I don’t want a bloody kewpie doll,” the drunk says, “I want

a meat pie like the last time.”

<><><><><><>

A Lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried a creative defence,

“My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles,” the enterprising lawyer said.

His arm is not himself and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for the offence committed by his limb.”

“Well put,” the judge replied, “Using your logic, I sentence

the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can

accompany it or not, as he chooses.

The defendant smiled. With his lawyers help he detached

his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.

<><><><><><>

Sorry, neither was wonderful, but I’ll be back.

Have a great day folks.

8 comments:

JunieRose2005 said...

OH!! ...But I LOVED the 'Meat Pie' one!! :)

Granny said...

Gross. I loved it.

You have a great day too.

Ann

cantellya said...

LOL! I thought they were quite funny! Nice to start my day with a laugh :)

mreddie said...

The broadband connection is a good thing, we have had it for a while. Plus the wife and I have our computers linked together - we can be on separate sites plus talk on the phone as well. I too liked the one about the "meat pie". :) ec

Meow said...

Hi Merle, and thanks so much for dropping by my blog today. It is nice to meet another fellow Aussie. Your blog looks great, I'll be back later to have a good read. Have a great day, take care, Meow

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Enjoy the broadband! I don’t think I could ever go back to dial up after having mine.

bec said...

yah, broadband. its sooo much beta than dial-up.
hope your not too tired.
all is good here
cheers Bec

NMAMFQLMSH said...

Isn't broadband great?
JJ