Friday, March 17, 2006

Today's jokes.

. I could not even open Blogger, and once when I did, New Post wouldn’t open. All’s well that end’s well !!

Thanks Peter and Meg for comments, now lost when I deleted

the first effort. Same problems today.

Well, it is about my lunch-time, so will find a couple of jokes, to finish with. I get a lot from the Melb. paper, but they are off

while the Games are on. So have to find my own.

Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

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“Would you like to speak to the man of the house……or the

woman who knows what’s going on?”

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Bubba and Junior (mechanical engineers) were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

“We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole,” said Bubba, “but we don’t have a ladder.”

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced “Eighteen feet six inches,” and walked away.

Junior shook his head and laughed: “Aint that just like a dumb

blonde? We ask for the height and she gives us the length.”

One for the blondes !! # # # # #

A farmer goes to his vet complaining that birds keep nesting

in his horse’s mane and asks how he can get rid of the pests.

The vet says to go to the bakery and get some yeast and rub it

into the mane to fix the problem.

Lo and behold this works and curious, the farmer asks how the

yeast worked.

The vet said it was quite simple: “Yeast is Yeast and nest is nest and never the mane shall tweet.”

Some classic quotes. # # # # # #

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, “Lillian,

you should have remained a virgin.” Lillian Carter (mother if Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: “No good in a bed, but fine against a wall. Eleanor Roosevelt.

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish ot withdraw that statement, Mark Twain.

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

Victor Borge.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx.

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3 comments:

max inclined said...

I was just blog browsing and came across yours. It's delightful to see someone who seems to enjoy life so much and so purely. I had a good laugh at the egg timer joke. Wish my mom could use a computer as well as you do.

Peter said...

Hi Merle, I think most of your trouble has been because blogger has been playing up, I had lots of troubles yesterday and a few this morning, so I turned the computer off for the day, seems OK now??

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Blogger has been driving me up a wall recently! Especially since my time has been short and it’s taking me much too long to post.

Thanks for the funnies—they were the perfect ending for a wonderful day.

May the Irish hills caress you.
May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.