Sunday, March 19, 2006

Sunday fun.

Sunday ~ Quiet day, Time to read some blogs and comment. It is good getting to know everybody a little better. There are so many things we can learn from each other. Life is good.!!

Some things to think about.

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening rule: when weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals

dying of nothing.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the

world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it

takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think

I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s butt.”

Why do some people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when they ask where the

bathroom is?

If quizzes are quizzical. what are tests?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from

morons?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his

head out the window?

Does pushing the elavator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Some fun ones and even naughty ones.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + +

A joke to finish…….

A woman takes her pet budgie to the vet because it is listless and lethargic.

She hands the budgie to the vet who takes one look at it lying on the table and says: “I’m going to have to do some tests.”

He goes away and comes back with a caged feral cat and places it down next to the budgie.

The cat screeches and claws at the cage, trying to get to the bird, but the budgie just raises it’s head, looks at the cat for a second and then lies back down again.

So the doctor goes away again and brings back a huge, slobbering labrador, which strains on the leash trying to get to the bird.

Once again, the bird just picks up it’s head, looks at the dog and lays back down again.

The doctor tells the woman: “This is terrible. I really don’t think there’s anything I can do but that will be $150 please.”

The woman cries out: “$150! But you didn’t do anything.”

Doctor: “Well, there was the labraport and catscan.”

+++++++++++++

6 comments:

Peter said...

Hi Merle, some goodies there, it's amazing where all this stuff comes from.

bubba said...

very good. I do want to use some of those.

JunieRose2005 said...

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.<<<<


:) My personal favorite!!

June

Jan said...

hi Merle
just caught up with your blogs like the jokes and poems got square eyes watching games Aussie Aussie Aussie oi oi oi very remiss of me not to have thanked you for chocolates opened them last night while watching games Thank You ...Janxxxxxxxxxxx

mreddie said...

I read - I chuckled - I resolved that the next time I am blue, I will start breathing again. :) ec

Da Gal said...

and another comment about graves/ruts... no matter how far down the road of life you travel you are always the exact same distance from the ditch!

Merle - your site is lovely. I am so happy you're blogging. Take gentle care and thanks for the kind words at my place. I take what you say to heart.

Meg