Monday, March 20, 2006

Hi Folks

Hi Folks ~~ Happy to be back with you. I had a really bad day and night with gout. Pain was bad, but is OK again today.

I don’t even drink, nor eat rich foods. Oh well, many are so much worse off, and I hope they are getting some respite.

My son John has sent me some jokes, so here goes…….

Two elderly ladies were in a beauty salon getting their hair

done, when in walked a young chick with a low cut blouse that

revealed a beautiful rose tattoed on one breast.

One woman leaned over to the other and said, “Poor thing, she

doesn’t know it, but in 45 years she’ll have a long stemmed rose

in a hanging basket.”

**********

Men are like……….

1. Men are like …LAXATIVES… They irritate the **** out of you .

2. Men are like BANANAS…The older they get, the less firm they are.

3.Men are like ..WEATHER…Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like BLENDERS…You need one, but not sure why.

5. Men are like CHOCOLATE BARS… Sweet, smooth, and they

usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like COMMERCIALS…..You can’t believe a word they say.

7. Men are like DEPARTMENT STORES…Their clothes are always 50% off.

8, Men are like….GOVERNMENT BONDS…They take soooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like …MASCARA.. They usually run at the first sign

of emotion.

10. Men are like….POPCORN…They satisfy you, but only for a

little while.

11. Men are like … SNOWSTORMS…You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get of how long it will last.

12. Men are like…LAVA LAMPS…..Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like…. PARKING SPOTS…. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Some choice ones there !!!

A few wise old sayings…….

Having two ears and one tongue, we should listen twice as

much as we speak. Turkish.

Have confidence in yourself and you can lick anything. Anon.

He that is hard to please, may get nothing in the end.Aesop.

Health is better than wealth. Unknown.

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Thomas Norton & Thomas Sackville.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. American saying.

If you believe everything you read, better not read. Japanese.

If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.

Aesop.

If you have, give; if you lack, seek. Malay.

If you kick a stone in anger you will hurt your foot. Korean.

If youth knew, if age could. Henri Estienne.

In a crisis, give help first and then advice, Aesop.

It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it. American mothers.

It’s OK to make a mistake, as long as you learn from it. Anon.

Well that is enough wisdom for today. I hope you found something of interest.

8 comments:

Peter said...

Yeah there were a few that I can learn from.
(that line of dots is getting near the danger mark>)
I havent had any spam yet, try turning your word verification off, can always turn it on again.

Anonymous said...

OK I'll turn it off Peter. :) Some really good one there Merle.

JunieRose2005 said...

Merle,

First - I'm sorry you had a bad night with the pain, and hope you continue to feel better today!

...and those MEN things were all good- and TRUE! :)

June

kenju said...

Merle, I live the joke about the rose tattoo!

So sorry to hear yuou have gout and suffer with it. Hope you can get some relief soon.

Joy Des Jardins said...

Merle, glad to hear you're feeling better from your painful night. It's amazing what we just "deal" with, isn't it? Love the jokes.

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ I was sorry to hear about your pain... then I read the things about men, and the feeling left me! ;-) ~ jb///

Anonymous said...

I found you via, Judy. I had a lovely visit reading through your posts. Nice to meet you, Merle.

madameplushbottom said...

Merle my grams can't seem to get the word "gout" right.. she keeps calling it "grout," which is so wonderful if you knew my grams... she think's she speaks the kings english or the queens english.. whatever it is.

Feel better soon please and take gentle care. Hugs, Meg