FAMILY and OTHER POEMS

A Family is a blessing, it means so many things Words could never tell, the joy a family brings. A family is a bond of faith, that even time can’t sever A gift to last all our lives, A family is forever. Anonymous. IN MY HEART ~ for an adopted child. Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. And don’t forget for a single minute, You didn’t grow under my heart but in it. Author unknown. ONE HUNDRED YEARS FROM NOW One hundred years from now It won’t matter What kind of car I drove What kind of house I lived in. How much money I had in the bank Nor what my clothes looked like BUT The world may be a little better Because, I was important In the life of a child. Author Unknown. I am very tired tonight after all the hot weather. It is a bit cooler now, but will try to think of something different tomorrow. I lke these three little poems and hope they appeal to some of you, my friends. Have a great week.

DESIDERATA. and CHILDREN LEARN

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself to others you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortune of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you from what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself, especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass, Take kindly the counsel of the years gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture the strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and the stars; You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy cnfusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all it’s shams, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Max Ehrmann wrote this in 1927. Children Learn What They Live. If a child lives with criticism. He learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostlity. He learns to fight. If a child lives with ridicule. He learns to be shy. If a child lives with shame. He learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with tolerance. He learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement. He learns confidence. If a child lives with praise. He learns to appreciate. If a child lives with fairness. He learns justice. If a child lives with security. He learns to have faith. If a child lives with approval. He learns to like himself. If a child lives with acceptance and friendship. He learns to find love in the world. Dorothy Law Nolte. Both oldies but good ones I think. A postscript to an earlier post ~~ I said a Hungarian man was found hanging in a tree. He had a parachute on and was not hurt – a little dehydrated for his overnight stay in the tree. He plans to be back in a glider again soon.

SOME FUNNY QUOTES

SOME FUNNY QUOTES Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight. George Globol. Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. Bill Vaughan. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain. A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. Marvin Kitman. Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. Dave Barry. Everywhere is in walking distance if you have the time.Dave Barry A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing. Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT. Dave Barry. I don’t know whether the world is run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it. Zig Ziglar. If you can’t convince them, confuse them. Harry S.Truman. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that. George Carlin. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright. I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate. George Burns. Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer. Dave Barry. Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. Ogden Nash. And a few witty jokes….. House guarded by shotgun 3 days a week. Guess which days. A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. If practice makes perfect and nobody is perfect, why practice? I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.. I intend to live forever, or die trying. The real trouble with reality is there is no background music. I hope some of these got a smile on some faces. It is so darned hot here my rememberer isn’t working today.

My Country revisited

_ MY COUNTRY AGAIN_ Today in our daily paper there was a cartoon showing a Fireman with a hose spraying flames from the fires, The words on it were ~~ I love a Sunburnt Country A Land of sweeping plains of rugged mountain ranges It’s Men and Women of the CFA (Country Fire Authority) with apologies to Dorothea MacKellar the author of My Country. An extra bit says IT’S Beauty and it’s terror The wide brown land for me.!!! Thankfully we have had some rain and most fires are under control, but can start up again with lightning (and stupid arsonists). These CFA people are all volunteers & not paid. I can remember seeing both my parents putting out smaller fires with just Wet Bags (sacks). I guess they kept us near for safety. It is a very scary thing. When I was a very young child ~ I used to wonder where I would prefer to live ~~ the country or the city? It was during the war & we saw in the paper the bombing of Britain etc. But my VERY young mind thought The country ~ snakes and fires, The city ~ Bombs. There was no way to win. We did eventually move to Melbourne into a succession of houses, which Peter wrote about ~~ with photos ~~ he is the clever one. We also went to a few different schools. Can you imagine going to a school with hundreds of pupils, after being at our tiny little one teacher school in Dixon’s Creek?? It was a major shock, and we were very shy kids ( seen and not heard was popular then). We survived and even enjoyed some of those experiences. I had a great teacher, who was an English lady when I was in my early teens. She was a wonderful teacher and I enjoyed English when she almost made the poems & stories come alive. A definate influence in my life. We tried our hand at farming for a couple of years, about an hour away from where I live now. Dad had some sheep and with Peter’s help and a couple of nice dogs worked with them. And even cleared some of the land and cut wood etc. Mum and I had “chooks”. Is this the same word for poultry overseas? We had lots of laying hens and sold eggs. We also had a few turkeys – the gobbler used to terrify me a bit. We had a few ducks and geese. We used to buy day old chickens and I for one enjoyed that time. We had lots of our friends visit from Melbourne, an aunt and uncle lived close by, as did my mother’s mother. Peter has also written about that trip in two trucks with all the disasters along the way. We had a lovely cat from the time we lived in Dixon’s Creek. He used to sit on a large post on our boundary fence, and come flying down the road to meet us, if we were coming home from school, specially if Mum had come to meet us. Well he travelled to all the 4 or 5 houses in Melbourne and then to the farm near Benalla, then back to Melbourne He lived over 14 years, from before our older brother died in 1940. Streaky – great cat. I read – “Cats leave paw prints on our hearts”. He did !! .The News is on now and a glider pilot was found hanging in a tree. He had been there overnight – a Hungarian man. I am too chicken to even fly in a plane. I f God had meant me to fly I would have wings!!! Enough for now.

AUSTRALIA DAY.

Today has been our National Day and like most Aussies I am proud of how far we have come with our achievments and the good things that we have here. I support our sportsmen and women and enjoy life here in this great land. However I found a few Aussie jokes and am not averse to sowing them…….. What’s the difference between yoghurt and Australians? At least yoghurt starts with a little culture. What does an Australian girl use for protection during sex? A bus shelter. Newsflash! Paul Keating’s ( a former Prime Minister) library burned down and two books were destroyed! The real tragedy was that he hadn’t finished colouring in one of them. There’s a Japanese firm that has developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast it can actually catch an Aussie with his mouth shut. An Australian is someone who thinks that the three major political parties in Australia are Labour, Liberal and Cocktail. The reason that Jesus was not born in Australia is because it would be very difficult finding 3 wise men, and near impossible to find a virgin. An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited the doctor to find out how to go about this. “Well” said the doctor, “this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain”. “That’s OK “ said the Englishman. “I’ve always wanted to be Irish and I’m prepared to take the risk”. The operation went ahead but the Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor. “I’m so terribly sorry”, the doctor said. “Instead of removing half the brain, I’ve taken the whole brain out”. The patient replied, “No worries, mate !!” Well I will never get an Australia Day Medal will I?

More Memories

MORE MEMORIES First let me add to my last post by saying these incidents happened over about nine years, so there were not THAT many snakes. We used to run around without any fear. There was an old fallen tree across the road, that when we sat on it, it rocked, so was called Rocky Ned. We enjoyed that. All this was at a very small place called Dixon’s Creek. A Post office where our friends lived, and a general store. After our mother’s death Peter & I went back there to relive some of our journey. Peter’s wife Julie renamed the place Dixon’s Bloody Creek, as we apparently raved too much. My daughters were with us too and now they all refer to the new name. We arrived there shortly after a centenary of the school, and found a lady who ordered some tee shirts for us, for which we paid. Julie’s comment was we may never see them or our money again. Well Peter and I swelled up with indignation. No-one from Dixon’s Creek was a crook. AND we eventually got our shirts. As we knew we would.!! We lived there during the War years and were not supposed to let on where we were to aircraft. BUT our (only) teacher got outside when one plane went over, and made a big sign Dixon’s Creek. Fortunately it wasn’t a war plane. There were only 12 pupils there in those days, which was the minimum number or we would not have the school. There was a church next to it, as in so many small towns. We did enough walking to school 5 days a week so did not go. BUT once a year they had a bazaar (fete, fair) and we went to that. It was the only time we tasted Raspberry Cordial, which for many years was my favourite drink. Mum used to make cakes and home-made lollies such as coconut ice and Turkish Delight. My mouth waters at the thought, but I am a diabetic now so can only dream. I do have the occasional chocolate though. Another time an aeroplane was lost and needed to land. I do not know any details of why etc, but it laded in a paddock about 2 miles from school on the left hand side of the road. Peter argues that it landed on the right hand side of the road, but there were houses there, and besides Dad said I was right. Got to get lucky sometime!!! I remember riding my bike down a hill and coming to grief, as I knocked my teeth and broke one. Our friend, the Post Mistress drove Mum and me to a dentist about 15 miles away. I lived.!!! The house we lived in was moved to the little farm very cheap, as the previous owner had committed suicide in it. I believe my parents had quite a job cleaning it up. My Dad, always the joker, used to knock under the table and say “Come in Taylor”, as I guess that was his name. We used to have visits from relatives from time to time, which was always nice. I was always very fond of my aunts & uncles and cousins too. In fact I organised a small Family Reunion in 2004, which we all enjoyed. We do not have any aunts or uncles left, but some of us cousins had not seen each other in years so we had a great day. Peter came to Queensland which was fortunate for me as I had handed in my driver’s licence. Our eldest cousin had a pendant which read OBE which sometimes means (Order of British Empire) but in this case it meant Over Bloody Eighty !! I had never seen them before and if I live that long, I want one. We had our reuion at a winery by the Goulburn River. On another topic, my daughter Julie is safely home in Gladstone AND the pathology came back with the right answer. So I am very thankful for that. She cannot do anything much and has to go ack in 6 weks for a check-up. Again, many thanks to those folks who wished her well. I am sure she had some divine help recovering so quickly.

FIRES and MEMORIES

Fires and Memories In Australia we are in the midst of a very hot Summer, and also have quite a few bush-fires burning. We have lost a lot of National Parks, some houses and buildings, many, many animals and 3 lives so far in Victoria. One of these was a 42 year old volunteer fire fighter, trying to protect us from these awful fires. I remember vaguely the terrible fires of 1939 when a great number of homes were burnt and many lives lost. We were lucky as we did not lose our home, but neighbours across the road and close by did. We lived on a small farm, and there was a very deep well there with goldfish in it. My mother wanted to take us down a ladder into the well, but my father thought we may have been boiled alive. Instead we went to another farm near to us and waited the fire out there. I was nearly 5, Peter nearly 3 and our older half-brother Jack was 14. I remember his dressing gown was hung on a branch of a tree, and I think it survived. Jack had TB and died the next year aged 15. Apparently his father was in World War I and was gassed in France. He developed Tuberculosis and then passed it on to Jack. He used to sleep on a covered front veranda, as fresh air was good for him, and also to protect Peter and me. I remember the three of us used to walk along the road to gather what Mum called “morning’s wood” – (kindling to light fires with). I guess this was before he was bedridden. He spent time in Melbourne in a hospital, which Mum visited. We had to sit in the car with Dad. I remember her saying that she used to buy boiled lollies occasionally, as we were very poor, and give Jack more than us because we had our lives ahead of us and he didn’t. We spent a lot of years with just Mum, Peter and me. My father went to live in Melbourne to get work. He drove double decker buses and came home when he could. Mum used to read us books and possibly that is when we both developed our love of books. We lived opposite a fruit orchard and Mum had permission to pick and use any she wanted. I remember one time she had picked an apron full of plums when she met up with a tiger snake about to strike. So she let it have the apron full of plums and I guess both she and it raced off in opposite directions. The house on this farm was destroyed in 1939. We went to a very little school, and I had to start at four and a half to keep it open, and Peter did the same 2 years later. We had a long walk to school through paddocks with lots of steers in them. They used to watch us, and vice versa but never did more than that. One afternoon after school, Pete and I stared the trek home and as usual threw our school-bags through a fence. About to go after them, when we saw an orange coloured snake crawling along the fence-line. We high-tailed it back to school and the teacher drove us home after checking we had not been bitten. NO just scared half to death. Poor Mum later had to walk all the way back to retrieve our bags. I remember one year for Christmas Peter and I badly wanted bikes and on Christmas morning got quite a few presents but no bikes. After a while Dad said let’s go for a walk ( which was very out of character) and we went, probably a little sulkily. Lo and behold, behind a tree we found our treasured bikes – where Dad had hidden them. So then we rode to school about 2 miles, but no more cattle or snakes. One more snake story, walking home with Mum we saw a snake crawling into a hole on the bank by the road. Well my mother grabbed that darned snake, pulled it out and killed it. I was only small and said “Mum, don’t you ever do that again”, and we never spoke back to her ever. The darned thing could have swung around and bitten her, which would have left us in a mess. Nearest doctor about 10 miles away. And no transport. Well I hope I haven’t bored you folks. It is all June’s fault!! with her memories of her mother. Unfortunately I cannot write a poem of praise. One last word – we used to listen to the radio (on a battery) no power then, and listen to country music, again may have started our fondness for it. Also listened to serial stories on the wireless as it was then called. Mum used to milk a cow, separate the milk and make butter from the cream. Memories Peter.

DECK OF CARDS

This is a story about a soldier in the North Africa Campaign in World War 11. After heavy fighting, the men returned to camp. The next day being Sunday, the Chaplain had set up a church service. The men were asked to take out their Bibles or Prayer Books. The Chaplain noticed one soldier looking at a deck of cards. After service, he was taken by the Chaplain to see the Major.The Chaplain explained what he had seen. The Major told the young soldier he would have to be punished if he could not explain himself. The young soldier told the Major that during the battle he had neither a Bible or a Prayer Book so he would use his deck of cards and explained: You see Sir when I look at the ACE, it tells me that there is one GOD and no other. When I see the 2, it reminds me that there are two parts to the Bible, the OLD TESTAMENT and the new TESTAMENT. The 3 tells me of the TRINITY OF GOD THE FATHER< GOD THE SON and GOD THE HOLY SPIRIT. The 4 reminds me of the FOUR GOSPELS, MATTHEW, MARK, LUKE and JOHN> Wen I see the 5, it tells me of the FIVE UNWISE VIRGINS who were lost and the five were saved. The 6 makes me mindful that GOD CREATED THE EARTH in just six days, and God said that it was good. GOD RESTED ON THE SEVENTH DAY. As I look at the 8, it reminds me that GOD destroyed all life by water except for 8 people. Noah, his wife, their three sons, and their three wives. When I see the 9, I think of the NINE LEPERS that GOD healed. There were ten lepers in all, but only one stopped to thank him. The 10 reminds me od the TEN COMMANDMENTS carved in stone by the hand of GOD. The JACK makes me remember the Prince of Darkness. Like a roaring lion, he devours those that he can. When I look at the QUEEN, I see the BLESSED VIRGIN MARY, MOTHER OF JESUS. As I look at the last card, the KING it reminds me that JESUS IS LORD OF LORDS and KING OF KINGS. There are 365 spots on a deck of cards, the number od days in a year. There are 52 cards to a deck, the number of weeks in a year. There are 12 picture cards, the number of months in a year. There are 4 different suits in a deck, the umber of months in a quarter of a year…. And so, the young soldiier then said to the Major, “You see, Sir, that my intentions were honourable. My deck of cards serve as my Bible, My PRAYER BOOK and my ALMANAC.” A deck of cards should remind us that we need JESUS 365 days, 52 weeks and 12 months a year and that we should PRAY 4 others. May you never look at a deck of cards the same way.

The Rose and The Clock of life.

Some say love, lt is a river that drowns the tender reed. Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed, Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need. I say love, it is a flower, and you it’s only seed. It’s the heart, afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance. It’s the dream, afraid of waking, that never takes a chance. It’s the one who won’t be taken, who cannot seem to give. And the soul, afraid of dyin’, that never learns to live. When the night has been too lonely, and the road has been too long, And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong, Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows, Lies the seed, that with the sun’s love, in the spring becomes The Rose. Words by Amanda McBroom. Sung by Bette Midler. The Clock of Life. The clock of life is wound but once, And no man has the power To tell just when the hands will stop At a late or early hour. Th lose one’s wealth is sad indeed, To lose one’s health is more, To lose one’s soul is such a loss That no man can restore. The present only is our own, So Live, Love, toil with a will –- Place no faith in Tomorrow --- For the clock may then be still. Robert H. Smith.

Honesty Quotes & Life Instructions

I found a few quotes about Honesty….. The day is for honest men, the night is for thieves. Euripides. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it. When in doubt, tell the truth. These three by Mark Twain. Level with your child by being honest. Nobody spots a phony quicker than a child. Mary MacCracken. Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. Samuel Butler. Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise. Sigmond Freud. Some more life instructions – Author unknown. 1. Talk slow but think quick. 2. Don’t judge people by their relatives. 3. Don’t let a little dispute injue a great friendship. 4. Smile when you pick up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice. 5. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; respect for others. Responsibility for all your actions. 6. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. 7. Marry a man/woman you can talk to. As you get older,his/her conversational skills will be as important as any other. 8. Spend some time alone. 9. Read more books and watch less TV. 10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. 11. Trust in God but lock your car. 12. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll get to enjoy it a second time. 13. Be gentle with the earth. 14. Never interrupt when you are being flattered. 15. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before. 16. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck. 17. Learn the rules and then break some. 18. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other. 19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Good News and some jokes

What to write tonight ?? I spoke to Julie again today and she said she was good and the pain better than before the op. She had an enormous tumour which they say should be benign and she wont need chemo. I hope they are right. When I had breast cancer 26 years ago – the specialist told me it wouldn’t be cancer, and later he rang after getting results from pathology and said it was, so I do hope Julie will not have to face that. She sounded so bright, had had a shower and 2 walks in the passage and sat in a chair. Then was told to get back in bed and not overdo it. I feel so much better knowing she is doing so well. Will put a few jokes in to change the subject !! Quotes about age and ageing ….After thirty, a body has a mind of it’s own. Bette Midler. Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Satchel Paige. I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it’s all a bit lower. Gypsy Rose Lee. I prefer old age to the alternative. Maurice Chevalier. Old age is no place for sissies. Bette Davis. If I were younger, I’d know more. James Barrie. The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. Lucille Ball. A few on drinking….. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henry Youngman. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh I grant you that the wheel was a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Dave Barry. Sir if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. Lady Astor to Winston Churchill. Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink to. His reply. A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. W. C. Fields. I hope some of those brought a smile.

Well I have better news tonight. My daughter Julie came through her operation all right. I rang the Hospital in Brisbane ( about 1000 kilometers away) and she had not returned from theatre. I rang an hour later, and a small little voice said a shaky Hello, and I actually spoke to her for a few minutes. She said she was OK and for me not to worry. Tonight I had a call saying she wont need chemo, so that is terrific. Rang her sister, brothers & her mother-in-law. I feel like a big weight has been lifted from me. Will find out more tomorrow. But for now, we are all so glad for her. Also rang Peter and a couple of cousins. Enough!!! Again, many thanks for those kind words left at Herons Nest. They were much appreciated.

WORDS OF FAITH

Without winter, there can be no spring. Without mistakes, there can be no learning. Without doubts, there can be no faith. Without fears, there can be no courage. My mistakes, my fears and my doubts are my path to wisdom, faith and courage. ANON. Be still, sad heart and cease repining; Behind the clouds is the sun still shining; Thy fate is the common fate of all, Into each life some rain must fall. LONGFELLOW. Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles. CONFUCIUS, Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens. J.R.R.TOLKIEN. If you can’t have faith in what is held up to you for faith, you must find things to believe in yourself, for a life without faith in something is too narrow a space to live. GEORGE E. WOODBERRY. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact. WILLIAM JAMES. Do all the good you can, By all means you can, In all ways you can, In all places you can, At all times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can. JOHN WESLEY. I enjoy these words and hope they will interest some of you. Just at present I have a very worried mind. Tomorrow my eldest daughter faces a serious operation and I cannot help worrying. However faith that all will be well keeps me going.

I AM A SENIOR CITIZEN

I’m the life of the party…even when it lasts until 8 p m. I’m very good at opening child-proof caps with a hammer. I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I’m going. I’m good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano and antacid. I’m the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go. I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a word you are saying. I’m very good at telling stories…over and over and over. I’m aware that other people’s grandchildren are not as bright as mine. I’m so cared for: long term care, eye care, private care, dental care. I’m not grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, children or politicians…. I’m positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired. I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a secure place. I’m wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that’s just my left leg. I’m having trouble remembering simple words like…… I’m realizing that aging is not for sissies. I’m anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti- inflammation. I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days. I’m wondering…if you are as old as you feel. how can I be alive at 135. I’m supporting all movements now… by eating bran, prunes and raisins. I’m a Senior Citizen and I think I am having the time of my life. Author Unknown. An oldie but a goodie!!!

JOKES OF THE DAY

Three men out on a bush-walk came to a raging river, which they had to cross, The first man prayed “Please God, give me the strength to cross this river” Pow! He had big arms and strong legs and swam across in two hours. The second man prayed “Please God, give me the strength and the tools to cross this river” Pow! He had a rowing boat and was able to cross in an hour The third man pleaded ;” Please, God, Give me the strength and the tools and the intelligence to cross this river. Pow! God turned him into a woman, she looked at the map, strolled 2oo metres upstream and walked across the bridge. There’s this truckie sitting at a fast food joint,sucking on an orange juice and munching on a burger as he reads the paper. Three big bikies rocked up, and the first one grabbed the truckies’mOJ and downed it. The second one grabbed his burger and polished it off and the third bikie grabbed the bloke’s paper. The truckie just stood up and walked away without a word. So the bikies go up to the counter of the fast food joint and say to the pretty lady on duty, “Not much of a truckie is he?” “Not much of a driver either,” she responds, “He’s just reversed over three motofbikes.”

INDIAN WEDDING BLESSING

This is The Indian Wedding Blessing. My daughter Kathy and her husband had this read at their wedding 19 years ago, and I still think it is terrific. Now we feel no rain, for each of us will be a shelter to the other. Now we feel no cold, for each of us will be warmth to the other Now there is no loneliness, for each of us will be a companion to the other. We are two bodies, but there is one life before us and one home When evening falls, I’ll look up and there you’ll be. I’ll take your hand: you’ll take mine and we’ll turn together to look at the road we travelled to reach this hour of our happiness. It stretches behind us, even as the future lies ahead. A long and winding road, whose every turning means discovery Old hopes, new laughter, shared fears. The adventure has just begun.

CONTENTMENT

CONTENTMENT Taking an idea from Bubba. I like the word contentment. I was asked recently if I was happy, and although I am not unhappy ~~ I came to the conclusion that I was content. I am enjoying my life at present, although I live alone & no longer drive a car. But there are pluses to living alone ~ you can eat whenever you want, sleep whenever you want and generally only need to satiafy oneself. I also like words such as … Tranquil ~ meaning peaceful. It makes me think of a calm & restful place. Recently asked if I ever got bored ~ I almost laughed at that one. There is always something to be done ~ a book to read or a little bit of gardening or a TV show to watch, and now blogging. So Boredom does not have a chance here. A few funnies my cousin sent me. Behind every successful woman.. IS HERSELF. Awoman is like a tea-bag…. you don’t know how strong she is until you put her in hot water. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. Coffee, chocolate and men. Some things are just BETTER RICH. Warning : I have an attitude and I know how to use it. Of course I don’t look busy…..I did it right the first time. Do not start with me, you will NOT WIN. All stressed out and no one to choke. If you want breakfast in bed, Sleep in the kitchen. It was a male cousin who sent these.. For women only !!!

CONCERT AT BENALLA

CONCERT AT BENALLA, VICTORIA Last night, my eldest son John took me to a great concert at Benalla, a town about 45 minutes from Shepparton. An Australian country singer, Graeme Connors was the artist. He writes all his own songs and they all tell a story. I saw him 2 or 3 years ago, and thoroughly enjoyed the show again. One of his best songs is The Great Australian Dream and some of the words are …..each time I thought I’d found it what makes us who we are – that bus pulls up beside me and the kids get out – yeah the kids get out – and it’s baseball caps on backwards like they wear them in L.A. - Coca Cola, Nike shoes and Oakley shades – so I figure thers’s an answer somewhere in between Beverley Hills 90210 and the Great Australian Dream. John is the eldest of my four children – he is 51 and lives nearby which is great for me. He has 3 daughters. Geaff is my second son and lives in a beautifl house 2 hours away on outskirts of Melbourne. He is 48 & has 2 children. No. three is Julie who lives even further north than Peter and at the moment is very unwell & due to have an operation in a week’s time. I pray that all will be well with her.She is 45 My youngest is Kathryn who lives about 5 hours away. She and her husband have a dairy farm. They have 5 children and I spent a lovely week with them over Christmas. Kathy is 44. The three youngest were adopted as babies and are definitely my kids and I love them all equally. When I was 45 I had breast cancer and had a mastectomy, but was lucky as it has never returned – after 26 years. I have heard and read that having cancer changes our outlook on life. I agree with that as little things no longer worry me – and I enjoy my life as it is at present. I have had two husbands, one divorce and left a widow by No.2 Well that is enough for tonight. Peter suggested I add something personal in my posts but maybe this is too much. Will find something else tomorrow. We are having a very hot summer so far this year. Thank goodness for ducted evaporative cooling.

FIVE MINUTES MORE

FIVE MINUTES MORE At the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground. “That’s my son over there,” she said pointing to a little boy in a red sweater playing on the slide. “He’s a fine looking boy” the man said. “That’s my son on the swing in the green sweater.” Then glancing at his watch, he called out to his son, “What do you say we go Todd?” Todd pleaded, “Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes.” The man nodded and Todd continued to swing to his heart’s content. Several minutes passed, and the father stood and called again to his son. “Time to go now?” Again Todd pleaded, “ Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes.” The man smiled and said “ Okay.” “My, you are certainly a patient father” the woman said. The man smiled and then said, “Last year, my older son, Tommy, was riding his bike near here and was killed by a drunk driver. I never spent enough time with Tommy, and now I’d give anything for just five more minutes with him. I’ve vowed not to make the same mistake with Todd.” “He thinks he gets five more minutes to play on the swinga. The truth is….I get five more minutes to watch him play.” Author unknown. THE MAGIC OF LOVE Love is like magic and it always will be, For love still remains life’s sweet mystery. Love works in ways that are wondrous and strange And there’s nothing in life that love cannot change! Love can transform the most commonplace Into beauty and splendor and sweetness and grace. Love is unselfish, understanding and kind, For it sees with it’s heart and not with it’s mind. Love is the answer that everyone seeks…. Love is the language that every heart speaks. Love can’t be bought, it is priceless and free, Love, like pure magic, is life’s mystery. Helen Steiner Rice. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Helen Keller.

THINGS I AM GRATEFUL FOR

Things I am grateful for : The partner who hogs the covers every night, because I have a partner. The child who is not cleaning his room but watching TV, because that means he is not out in the street. The taxes I pay, because I have a job. For the mess I have to clean up after a celebration because it means I am surrounded by friends. For the clothes that fit a little tightly because that means I have enough to eat. For the lawn that needs mowing, the windows that need cleaning & the gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home. For all the complaints I hear about the government because that means we have freedom of speech. For the parking spot that I find at the far end of the car park because that means I am capable of walking and have been blessed with transport. For my heating bills because it means I am warm. For the piles of washing & ironing because it means I have clothes to wear. For the lady who sings loudly and off-key because it means I can hear. For feeling tired at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard. For the alarm that goes off in the early hours of the morning because it means I am alive. We often do not look at things this way. Someone made up a great list.

SOME FUNNY QUOTES

SOME FUNNY QUOTES Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else. Will Rogers If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style. Quentin Crisp Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an aquaintance or a stranger. Franklin P. Jones Seventy per cent of success in life is showing up. Woody Allen The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. Franklin P. Jones Many a man owes his success to his first wife, and his second wife to his success. USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 per cent of the population. David Letterman If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. W. C. Fields I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it. Jonathan Winters Too much of a good thing can be wonderful. Mae West Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. Victor Borge Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. George Burns Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects. Arnold H. Glasgow.

I Told You I Was Sick

Surprise, surprise, Come on Scotty!

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Eat Drink and be Merry.

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart Attacks than Australians. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart Attacks than Australians. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer Heart attacks than Australians. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer Fewer heart attacks than Australians. The Germans drink a lot of beer, and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Australians. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently, what kills you.

LIFE INSTRUCTIONS

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2.Memorize your favorite poem. 3.Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. 4.When you say “I love you”, mean it. 5. When you say “I’m sorry, look the person in the eye. 6.Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only to live life completely. 10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. Author unknown. We will all end up so darned good if we follow all these Instructions. M.

THE TV IS MY SHEPHERD

The TV is my Shepherd: I shall turn it on. It makes me lie down on the sofa. It ravishes my soul. It leads me in the paths of Ignorance and violence, For the sponsor’s sake. Yea, though I walk in the shadow Of my responsibilities, There will be no interruptions; For the TV is with me. It’s cable and it’s remote control They comfort me, It prepares a commercial Before me, It plants lies within my mind. It anoints my head With materialism. My coveting runneth over. Surely laziness and ignorance Shall follow me all the days of my life; And I shall dwell in the house Watching TV and it’d propaganda Until the day tyranny breaks down My door, And I can no longer hide from it; Behind my television, anymore. With apologies to The 23rd Psalm.

I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes. I’ve learned that the best classroom in the world Is at the feet of an elderly person. I’ve learned that having a child fall asleep in your arms Is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world. I’ve learned to never say no to a gift from a child. I’ve learned that I can always pray for someone When I don’t have the strength to help in some other way. I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires You to be, Everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. I’ve learned that sometimes all a person needs Is a hand to hold and a heart to understand. I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for. I’ve learned that it’s those small daily happenings That make life so spectacular. I’ve learned that under everyone’s hard shell Is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved. I’ve learned that the Lord didn’t do it all in one day What makes me think that I can? I’ve learned that love, not time, heals all wounds. I’ve learned that you can make someone’s day By simply sending them a little note. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person By how they handle these three things: A rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree Lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your Parents, You’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” Is not the same as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second Chance. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and Touch someone. People love human touches…. ~holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

ELEVEN PEOPLE ON A ROPE

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope is not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were All going to fall. They weren’t able to name that person, until the woman gave A very touching speech. She said she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a Woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband And kids or for men in general, and was used to making sacrifices with little in return. As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping !!!!

FUNNY SIGNS

FUNNY SIGNS IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs. IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step Ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps Will be taken. IN ANOTHER OFFICE:After the tea break, staff Should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the Draining board. ON A CHURCH DOOR:This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked Because of the draft. Please use side entrance) OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP: We exchange Anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not Bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain. QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person Passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council. NOTICE IN DRYCLEANER”S WINDOW: Anyone Leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will Be disposed of. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP: Closed due to illness. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants Please Stay in your car. SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has Children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the First floor. NOTICE IN A FIELD: The farmer allows walkers to Cross the field for free, but the bull charges. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET: If you cannot read, this Leaflet will tell you how to get lessons. ON A REPAIR SHOP: We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door – the bell doesn’t work) SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICEBLOCK: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below. Well that ended on a choice note !!!!

BLESSINGS

BLESSINGS If you woke this morning with more health than illness… You are more blessed than the million who will not survive This week. If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the Loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the Pangs of starvation….. You are ahead of 500 million people in the world. If you can attend a church meeting without fear of Harassment, arrest. torture or death….. You are more blessed than three billion people in The world. If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your Back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep …….. You are richer than 75% of the world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet and spare Change in a dish someplace……. You are among the top 8% of the world. If your parents are still alive and still married……. You are very rare. If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and Are truly thankful….. You are blessed because the majority can, but most do not. If you can hold someone’s hand, hug them or even touch Them on the shoulder….. You are blessed because you can offer God’s healing touch. If you can read this message, you are more blessed than Over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

GARDEN FOR DAILY LIVING

FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING Plant 3 rows of Peas: 1, Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of Soul Plant 4 rows of Squash: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grumbling 4. Squash selfishness Plant 4 rows of Lettuce: 1. Lettuce be faithful 2. Lettuce be kind 3. Lettuce be patient 4. Lettuce really love one another No Garden is complete without Turnips: 1. Turnip for meetings 2. Turnip for service 3. Turnip to help one another To Conclude our garden we must have thyme: 1. Thyme for each other 2. Thyme for family 3. Thyme for friends. Water freely with patience and Cultivate with love, there is much fruit In your garden because you reap what You sow.

GOLDEN RULES FOR LIVING If you open it, close it. If you turn it on, turn it off. If you unlock it, lock it up. If you break it, admit it. If you can’t fix it, Call someone who can. If you borrow it, return it. If you value it, take care of it. If you make a mess, clean it up. If you move it, put it back. If it belongs to someone else and You want to use it, get permission. If you don’t know how to Operate it, leave it alone. If it’s none of your business, Don’t ask questions. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. If it will brighten someone’s day, say it. If it will tarnish someone’s Reputation, keep it to yourself. Author unknown. It is an oldie, but at this time of year I feel a repeat is OK.