AUSTRALIA DAY.

Today has been our National Day and like most Aussies I am proud of how far we have come with our achievments and the good things that we have here. I support our sportsmen and women and enjoy life here in this great land. However I found a few Aussie jokes and am not averse to sowing them…….. What’s the difference between yoghurt and Australians? At least yoghurt starts with a little culture. What does an Australian girl use for protection during sex? A bus shelter. Newsflash! Paul Keating’s ( a former Prime Minister) library burned down and two books were destroyed! The real tragedy was that he hadn’t finished colouring in one of them. There’s a Japanese firm that has developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast it can actually catch an Aussie with his mouth shut. An Australian is someone who thinks that the three major political parties in Australia are Labour, Liberal and Cocktail. The reason that Jesus was not born in Australia is because it would be very difficult finding 3 wise men, and near impossible to find a virgin. An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited the doctor to find out how to go about this. “Well” said the doctor, “this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain”. “That’s OK “ said the Englishman. “I’ve always wanted to be Irish and I’m prepared to take the risk”. The operation went ahead but the Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor. “I’m so terribly sorry”, the doctor said. “Instead of removing half the brain, I’ve taken the whole brain out”. The patient replied, “No worries, mate !!” Well I will never get an Australia Day Medal will I?