Thursday, January 26, 2006

AUSTRALIA DAY.

Today has been our National Day and like most Aussies I am proud of how far we have come with our achievments and the good things that we have here. I support our sportsmen and women and enjoy life here in this great land. However I found a few Aussie jokes and am not averse to sowing them…….. What’s the difference between yoghurt and Australians? At least yoghurt starts with a little culture. What does an Australian girl use for protection during sex? A bus shelter. Newsflash! Paul Keating’s ( a former Prime Minister) library burned down and two books were destroyed! The real tragedy was that he hadn’t finished colouring in one of them. There’s a Japanese firm that has developed a camera with a shutter speed so fast it can actually catch an Aussie with his mouth shut. An Australian is someone who thinks that the three major political parties in Australia are Labour, Liberal and Cocktail. The reason that Jesus was not born in Australia is because it would be very difficult finding 3 wise men, and near impossible to find a virgin. An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited the doctor to find out how to go about this. “Well” said the doctor, “this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain”. “That’s OK “ said the Englishman. “I’ve always wanted to be Irish and I’m prepared to take the risk”. The operation went ahead but the Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor. “I’m so terribly sorry”, the doctor said. “Instead of removing half the brain, I’ve taken the whole brain out”. The patient replied, “No worries, mate !!” Well I will never get an Australia Day Medal will I?

10 comments:

Peter said...

You most assuredly will not !!!!
Methinks it's just as well most of your readers are from overseas.

bubba said...

Now Peter. Play nice with your sister. You just might have to stand in the corner.

Karen said...

You have that medal in spirit! That was a cute joke. Happy Australia Day! :-D

JunieRose2005 said...

I LOVED your jokes!

I think we ALL need to have more humor about who we are!

I do!! :)

June

Merle said...

Peter ~ I don't think I was on a short list for a medal anyway!!!

Bubba ~ Thanks for your support!

Karen ~ Thanks for your comments
Thanks for that spiritual medal.

June ~ I think if we cannot laugh at ourselves occasionally, life
would be a bit of a drag.





\.

June ~ If we cannot laugh at ourselves a little, life would be a drag. Thanks for comments

Minerva said...

Loved the jokes..and came over to thank you for the comments on my blog - I really appreciate knowing and hearing of people who have gone on...

Thank you..

Minerva

LZ Blogger said...

I love self-deprecating humor! These are classic! Thanks Merle! ~ jb///

kenju said...

Merle, these jokes are classics! Our nephew and his wife are touring Australia this month and writing a travel blog about their experiences. I sure would like to be with them!

mreddie said...

Great one about culture. :) The one about the coloring books has been told on several of our presidents - usually by the opposite party. ec

Merle said...

Thank you all folks for your
comments.
Judy ~ I think I left a comment at your blog. Loved those
"Somebody said" lines.
Minerva ~ Thanks for your visit and I am glad you are feeling a little better.