Saturday, July 29, 2006

Brains for Sale.

Hi There Folks ~~ Well it is Saturday night here in Oz and

all is well . I hope it is for all of you as well. My daughter did

get home yesterday and is fine. She did have the tip of that finger removed, so hope they got all the bad out of it.

<><><><>

I have been cooking today, a leg of lamb with roast vegies and

beans, carrots (with butter and honey on them when cooked)

and tomatos and onion cooked together. Should be nice & tasty.

As a result, I haven’t read too many blogs, or commented, but

tomorrow is another day. There was a song called, “Tomorrow

is a Lovely Day”. Nice song, but I cannot think who sings it.

Now for some fun – I hope ----

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BRAINS FOR SALE.

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally the doctor

came in looking tired and sombre.

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“I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news,” he said as he looked

at the worried faces. “The only hope left for your loved one at

this time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure,

very risky, but the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you’ll have to pay for the brain yourselves.”

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The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news.

After a great length of time, someone asked,

“Well how much does a brain cost?”

The doctor quickly responded, $5,000 for a male brain and $200 for a female brain.”

<><><>

The moment turned awkward. The men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually

smirked. A man, unable to control his curiousity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, Why is the male brain so

much more?”

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The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, “ It’s just standard procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they have actually been used.”

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<><><> Some Funnies <><><>

“Doc, I can’t stop singing the green, green grass of home.”

“That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.” “Is it common?”

“It’s not unusual.”

<><><><>

So I was in my car and I was driving along, and my boss rang me

and he said, “ You’ve been promoted.” And I swerved and then

he rang up a second time and said, “You’ve been promoted again.” And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said

“You are managing director.” And I went into a tree. And then a

policeman came up and said “What happened to you?”

And I said I careered off the road.

<><><><>

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen and it said

“Parking Fine.”

<><><><>

A man went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but

I couldn’t find any.

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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either

my Mum or Dad, or my older brother or my younger brother “Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it is Colin.

<><><><>

Q. My friend Dave the butcher works out daily at the local gym. He wears a size 12 shoe and is 184 cm tall. Dave wears a 42 –inch long suit, drives a sports car and eats a healthy diet.

What does he weigh .

A, He’s a butcher. He weighs meat.

<><><><>

If you melted dry ice and then bathed in it, would you get wet?

<><><><>

Why didn’t they worry about the speed of dark?

<><><><>

<><><> From my Calender <><><>

Regardless of your beliefs, nationality, or allegiance, everyone

sleeps under the same canopy of stars.

<><><><>

May you always walk with the morning star to guide you, the

summer sun on your back and an angel by your side.

<><> Well that is probably more than enough, Cheers, Merle.<><>

14 comments:

Tammy said...

I've never had lamb I kind of stay away from it because that is my maiden name and ewwwww....I love carrots made just that way!
:-D

JunieRose2005 said...

:) funny jokes, as always!

Lol- I liked that one about the brain , didn't you? hahaha


June

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

The Brains joke was funny and since there are 5 in my family I am wondering which of the kids is Chinese...Could it be Somershade? *LOL*

Big Dave T said...

Man, every time I stop by here, you're cooking something good for dinner.

"It's A Lovely Day Tomorrow" is an Irvin Berlin number made a hit by Frank Sinatra. But there is also "Tomorrow is a Lovely Day", written in 1937 by Bronislaw Kaper. Believe it is a British number but don't know who sings it there.

Sue said...

My hub and I shared a laugh over the brain joke. I think I laughed just a little harder than he did :-)
You have been busy cooking! Can you believe I have never tried lamb? My Australian SIL (who lives here)says our lamb here is not as good as what she gets at "home" (OZ)

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Merle, can you post some of that leg of lamb to the Northern Hemisphere? Specifically Louisville, Kentucky, U.S.A.?

Granny said...

t's a lovely day tomorrow,
Tomorrow is a lovely day,
Come and feast your tear-dimmed eyes on tomorrow's clear blue skies,
If today your heart is weary,
If every little thing looks gray,
Just forget your troubles and learn to say,
Tomorrow is a lovely day.

That's the Irving Berlin. I was googling before I checked your comments.

mreddie said...

Sounds like your daughter is finally over her ordeal with her finger - hope so. What you are cooking sounds yummy but I have never eaten lamb. It is not that I dislike it - just never had it. It's not unusual to chuckle at the Tom Jones syndrome - or is it? :) ec

PEA said...

I'm another one who has never had lamb...I've seen it a few times in the grocerty stores but I remember it being very expensive! You're always cooking something so delicious though!! Loved the brain joke!!!! You always have such great reading and always makes me laugh:-)Oh and Merle? What's new pussycat?? hehe

Peter said...

Hi Merle, I think it's Colin is a good line.

Framed said...

You must be a fantastic cook. I only had lamb once and vowed never again. But yours sounds tempting. Love the brain joke. Sadly, I also related incredibly to the medical alphabet. And I plan to share the prison vs work joke with my staff at work. I wonder if they call me the warden behind my back.

Raggedy said...

Dinner sounds scrumptious...I will be right there....
*Clicks heels together
There's no place like Merle's
There's no place like Merle's
There's no place like Merle's
Dern it I am still here...
*Runs out of room to find another pair of shoes to try....
I was sorry to hear that Kathy lost the tip of her finger. I hope she will be alright and make a speedy recovery...
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) huge huggles
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

I'm not very fond of lamb, and niether is my sister who says it tastes like the smell of the hair oil my dad use to use.

Maybe Australian lamb just tastes better than American lamb?

I loved the used brain joke, LOL.

I hope your daughter's finger will heal quickly now that she has had her surgery.

Janice~

Joy Des Jardins said...

Add me to the list of people who never makes lamb Merle. I don't know why that is. My mother cooked lamb a lot when I was growing up. We had a lot of roasts. I cook beef and pork, but not lamb. I think it's because I really don't eat it much. I know a lot of people love it. Loved your jokes today. Hope your daughter's finger is healing well Merle. Many hugs to you sweet friend, Thanks :)