Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Nurses and Blondes.

Hi Everyone ~~ Well I hope this finds you all doing well,

and managing to keep cool. I have the reverse problem.

One thing we all know, the seasons will change for all of us.

We just have to hang on until they do !!

Shopping trip accomplished and of all things I forgot to

get some Pumpkin. I will ring my son to get me some.

<><><><><> The Nurse’s A. B. C. <><><><><>

A for Adaptability – Learn to adapt to new surroundings

A for Adaptability -The ideal nurse is equally at home in a

cottage or a castle.

B for Business – Be business-like in all your undertakings.

C for Cleanliness – Not only in your work, but in yourself.

D for Dignity – Uphold the dignity of your calling.

E for Efficiency - Know your job from A to Z.

F for Fairness – In gving the same consideration to your poorest

patient as you would to a millionaire.

G for Gentleness – Of voice and manner.

H for Health – Keep your own mind and body healthy.

I for Initiative – Learn to take it.

J for Job – Do it well---you chose it.

K for Keenness – The nurse who is keen gets better results.

L for Loyalty – To your fellow-workers, and above all to your

patients. Many things are told you in confidence, so let them

be safe with you.

M for Method – Be methodical and tidy in your work.

N for Necessity – Remember the old one – that necessity is the

Mother of Invention.

O for Optimism – Try to look on the bright side. If you get

depressed, so does your patient.

P for Patience – One of your most priceless possessions.

Q for Questions – Be carful how you answer your patient’s questions.

Your answers may give confidence or otherwise.

R for Responsibility – Never take it lightly.

S for Sympathy – You may have become hardened, but never

become hard-hearted.

T for Tact – An all important quality.

U for Understanding –An understanding heart is worth it’s weight

in gold.

V for Versatility – The more versatile you are, the more you’ll be

able to interest your patients.

W for Wisdom – Which is even greater than knowledge.

X for X-ray – Give yourself a mental X-ray now and again.

Y for Yielding – There is a great art in knowing just when to yield

to your patient’s wishes.

Z for Zephyr – Let your comings and goings in the sick-room be

as gentle a gentle zephyr.

<><><><><> Now for some Blonde Jokes. <><><><><>

Blonde LOGIC

Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench

talking......And one blonde says to the other, "Which do

you think is farther away..........Melbourne or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says

"Helloooooooooo, can you see Melbourne...?????"

<><><><><><><>

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

<><><><><><><><><>

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks

her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your

act together.

Just yesterday you take away my license and then

today you expect me to show it to you!"

<><><><><><>

RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river

and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river

and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

<><><><><><><><>

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office

and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast

and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed

in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise

she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she

touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

<><><> A Few Sayings. <><><>

A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

Chinese proverb.

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy and

wealthy and wise. Engldh proverb. (So that’s where I

go wrong !!)

A good beginning is half the work. Irish proverb.

Contentment is the greatest wealth. English proverb.

Of all days, the day on which one has not laughed is the

one most surely wasted. Nicolas Sebastien Roch Chamfort.

<><><><> Enough for this lot – I’ll be back, Merle. <><><><>

20 comments:

Peter said...

Hi Merle, we have a new blogger go to the link below.

http://wazzasplace.blogspot.com/

somershade said...

Thanks for the sweet comment.

I like s for sympathy.

And all the sayings.

broken finger,too funny.

lots of huggs and kisses your way!!!

Karen said...

I really liked the ABC's. This one struck something: X for X-ray – Give yourself a mental X-ray now and again. It is good to do that on a regular basis.

Loved the blonde joke!!

Have a great day!!

Jacqui said...

Hi Merle, I just commented on yesterdays post, when I really meant it to be here, old age comes in many different guises, hugs jacqui

Jon Cox said...

Hahaha, your jokes are ALWAYS so GREAT! Thank you, I would post what I'm working on but I don't wanna disapoint anyone if it dosen't work out. I do have a new post going up really soon! :o)

Sue said...

Loved your blonde jokes, but I also liked the ABC's. My late Mom was a nurse and I could see her in many of these...

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Ava said...

Hi there!

Great post today! I always enjoy my visits here!!!

M.E Ellis said...

Hahaha at the moon/Melbourne joke. Bless!

:o)

PEA said...

Hi Merle:-) I'm blonde and these blonde jokes are pretty much right on! lol Love them! Also love the ABC's and the proberbs!! Hope you're having a wonderful day:-)

Tammy said...

Loved the carberator story...lol!!
:-D

kenju said...

Ilike tht alphabet list, Merle. Good words to live by.

Da Gal said...

Hiya Merle - good to see your bright sunshiney face. I hope your son picked up the pumpkin for you. I love the jokes and I really love the sayings.

Enjoy your week and continue to bring smiles to our hearts. Take gentle care, Meg

Raggedy said...

Great post! Good Stuff.
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) meow hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

mreddie said...

The following will show that guys are blonds as well. ec

A couple of blond men in a pickup truck drove into a
lumberyard. One of the blond men walked in the office and
said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man
said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.

He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant
two-by-fours." "Alright. How long do you need them?" The
customer paused for a minute and said, "Uh... I'd better go
check."

After awhile, the blond returned to the office and said, "A
long time. We're gonna build a house."

smiley said...

Hi Merle,

Love the 'Blond Jokes' :0)

I like all the proverbs too except for the "early to bed one..." I'm the total opposite!

Thanks for sharing...

Lucy Stern said...

Nothing like a good blonde joke.

Michelle said...

I like "M" for Method = Michelle= Obsessively tidy!

HORIZON said...

LOL- I could swear that the RIVER WALK story has actually happened to me, not that l'm blond or anything. lol

Jon Cox said...

Hello my friend! :o) It's always such a great joy to visityour blog, it REALLY makes me smile! :oD Thank you so much, I'm so glad that you like my work. Especially my paintings, I agree, it really is a nice new way to go. :o) I like the saying you have posted, they are inspiring! Thank you again! Take care! :o)