Monday, July 17, 2006

Funeral Joke

Hello Everyone~~ Well we have had a nice couple of rainy days here

which has been terrific as it was needed. I have got my e-mail system

working again, after being on the phone for well over half an hour, and

venturing to places I have never been before, but all is well now.

I have not been able to reach a commentor named Aunt Jenny. I got to

her blog but could not find where to reply. So on the off-chance that you

are reading Jenny – thanks for your comments and many, many congrats

on your family – 2 homemade and 5 adopted. What an amazing lady

you must be, and I see you sell lots of homemade things as well. Don’t

they keep you busy enough?

Another blogging friend Pea sent me the next item called Funeral.

Thank you Carole. It is a good joke despite it’s title.

<><><><><><>

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee
when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching
the nearby cemetery.
 
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse
about 50 feet behind the first one.
 
Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull
on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200
women walking single file.
 
The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached
the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss,
and I know  now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a
funeral like this.  Whose funeral is it?" 
 
"My husband's." 
 
"What happened to him?"
 
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed Him."
 
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
 
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my
husband when the dog turned on her."
 
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two
women.
 
"Can I borrow the dog?"
 
"Get in line."
 
 

<><><> The Invisible Line. <><><>

Mothers must draw a subtle line

Finer than any thread is fine;

Must Firmly hold, but never clutch,

Must freely give, but not too much,

Must stand apart, but never far,

Must heal the wound, but bless the scar;

And, falsely speaking, truly tell,

And guarding, never guard too well;

And hearing, fail to overhear;

And, fearing all things, have no fear;

And loving, love each child the best,

Yet no child dearer than the rest.

<><><><> Some calender Sayings <><><><>

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.

~ Anne Bradstreet.

He who plants a tree, Plants a hope. – Lucy Larcom.

Do not follow where the path may lead……

Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

-- Benjamin Franklin.

Living well and beautifully and justly are all one thing.

--Socrates.

Happiness is contagious. If allowed to spread it can

infect tha whole universe with joy.

Happiness is getting what you want.

Joy is knowing you are never alone.

<><><><><>

Enough for now. Have a great week and take care, Merle.

12 comments:

Tammy said...

LMBO at Carole's joke...and the other sayings...copied the Ben Franklin one...I've seen it somewhere and really like it!!
Have a great day!!
:-D

Ava said...

Glad you had some rain. We sure need some here as well.

Great jokes!

Peter said...

Hi Merle, get in line is a goodie.

Wystful1 said...

LOVE the funeral!!!! I even had to read it to my husband 'subtly' of course....don't want him to think I'd buy that dog from the last in line!!!! rofl

Now, I'm off to read more. I so enjoy your blog.

Aren't rainstorms heavenly!?

HORIZON said...

Laughed out loud at the funeral joke- think we have all been there- especially with my ex and his mum-lol.
I really related to the second one down about being a mum- so true. Unfortunately you can't win for losing sometimes but you'd understand that having raised your four kids too Merle. I think the teenage years are the hardest so far- tell me, does it last???
Best and Bests and Bests
:) your just lovely!

Raggedy said...

Great Post! The Mother poem was very nice to read because today is my Mum's birthday.
Thanks!
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) meow hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

Tracie said...

"The invisible line" is wonderful.

PEA said...

Glad to see you could use the joke Merle:-) I'll keep an eye out for others that I think would be worth sending you! Love the sayings!! Have a wonderful day:-)

mreddie said...

Glad you got some rain - wish we could here, we need about a day of slow rain. Glad you got your email fixed, sometimes those 'help' lines are not so helpful. Your verses about a mother reminded me of something I heard. A real art in parenting is to cause each child to think they are loved the best, no matter how many siblings they have. ec

Meow said...

Great post, Merle ... love the funeral one, too funny !!
The rain has been wonderful, hasn't it. But we need heaps more.
Stay warm, take care, Meow

kansasrose said...

Hi Merle! Visiting your blog always brightens my day! I love the Mother poem. Had a houseful of young nieces and nephews staying with us from out of town. What a joy it is to see these kids! Been cooking alot more than I usually do. Have a great day! Talk to you soon! KansasRose

rhapsody said...

I'm going to try & leave a comment even though blogger is doing maintenance or something- glad your email is working again...

As usual loved the jokes- the blonde ones & the funeral joke were great! Thanks for the laughs:)