Hello there People ~~ I hope things are going well for you.
I have had a couple of bad days – first I could not send
emails, got that fixed and couldn’t get on the net. Got
that one fixed and then Blogger didn’t want recognise me.
So now that, that is fixed I wonder what the next disaster
will be. I even had to comment as an “other” a few times.
However all is well and I am cautiously optimistic.
First a little poem called “It Makes all the Difference”
Isn’t it nice when you’re lonely,
Feeling discouraged and blue,
To have someone pop in and offer,
“Is there anything I can do ?“
Isn’t it good when you’re worried,
The world looking badly askew,
To have someone smiling proffer,
“Is there anything I can do ?”
Isn’t it grand when the grey skies
Take on a different hue
Just because somebody asks us
“Is there anything I can Do ?”
So don’t ever, ever be backward
To say it, with meaning true,
When you know someone somewhat downhearted
“Is there anything I can do ?”
A list of things you would never know if not for TV.
1. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
2. Beds have strange shaped sheets that reach up to the armpits on a woman, but only to waist level on a man lying beside her.
3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
4. The ventilatiom system of any building is a perfect hiding place, No-one will think of looking there.
5. You’re likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, you do not have to speak the language. A German accent will do.
7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
8. A man will show no pain while taking a ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
9. Kitchens don’t have lights. When entering at night, open the fridge door and use that light.
10. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and muffins for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
11. If a killer is loose in your house, it’s easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath—even in the afternoon.
12. One man shooting 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
13. Dogs always know how to spot villains, and will bark at them and no one else.
14. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English.
15. It is always possibe to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
16. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
<><><><> Some of those are a bit vague. <><><><>
<><><><> Some Jokes <><><><>
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all
covered in blood, and parked himself on the roof of the
cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began
hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to rack off and let him get some sleep, but
they persisted until he gave in.
“OK, follow me,” he said and flew out of the cave with
hundreds of excited bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a
He slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around him,
their tongues hanging out for blood.
“Do you see that huge tree over there ?” he asked.
“Yes, yes, you bet,” the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
“Good for you,” said the first bat, “because I bloody didn’t.”
This couple were married for 59 years.The husband was asked ; 'if
in all those years had they ever thought of divorce’. "Heavens no" he
replied."Murder yes, but never divorce".
<><><> A few Blonde Jokes to finish <><><>
Did you hear about the blonde coyote > Got stuck in a trap, chewed off 3 legs and was still stuck.
Did you hear about the blonde who bought an AM radio. It took her 2 weeks to figure out you could play it at night.
How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? There’s whiteout on the screen.
How can you tell if another blonde’s been using the computer? There’s writing on the whiteout.
How can you tell when a FAX has been sent by a blonde? There’s a stamp on it.
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.
How do blonde brain cells die ? Alone.
That’s it folks, sorry to any blondes reading, nothing
personal. They are just jokes !!! Take care, Merle.