Good Old Days

Hello Friends ~~ Another day nearly done here, as it is

6 pm (Monday). And it is just on dark, so gates and doors

all locked up and blinds drawn to keep the cold out.

Shopping day tomorrow, for a fortnight’s supplies. I have

to write out a list yet. I write it roughly through the two

weeks as I think of things or run out of them.

I found the following item in a book I have and thought it

may be of interest.

<><><><><><> Good Old Days <><><><><><>

In the age when coffe breaks, the five-day week, air conditioning and

other amenities are taken for granted, it is

enlightening to read the Office Rules drawn up by one

employer of the 1870 s.

1. Employees will daily sweep floors, dust furniture & shelves.

2. Each day, fill lamps, clean chimneys and trim wicks. Wash

windows once a week.

3. Each clerk will bring in a bucket of water and a scuttle of

coal for the day’s business.

4. Make your pens carefully. You may whittle nibs to your

individual taste.

5.The office will open at 7a.m. to 8 p.m. daily, except on the

Sabbath on which day it will remain closed. Each employee is

expected to spend the Sabbath by attending church and by

contributing liberally to the cause of the Lord.

6.Men employees will be given an evening off each week for

courting purposes, or two evenings a week if they go regularly

to church.

7. After an employee has spent his hours of labour in the office, he

should spend the time reading the Bible and other good books.

8.Any employee who smokes Spanish cigars, uses liquor in any

form, gets shaved in a barber’s shop, or frequents pool and

public –halls, will give me good reason to suspect his worth,

intentions, integrity and honesty.

9.The employee who has performed his labours faithfully

and without fault for a period of five years, and who has been

thrifty, and attentive to his religious duties, will be given an

increase of five cents per day, provided a just return in

profit from the business permits it.

<><><> Wow, and we thought we were hard done by !!! <><><>

This is a repeat Joke – The Cost of Baseball, but it’s funny.

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband

is at work. Unbeknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding

in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she

hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: “Dark in here.”

Man; “Yes it is.”

Boy: “I have a baseball.”

Man: “That’s nice.”

Boy: “Want to buy it?”

Man: “No thanks.”

Boy: “My dad’s outside.”

Man: OK, how much?”

Boy: $250.”

In the next few weeks it happens again, that the boy and

the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy: “Dark in here.”

Man: “Yes it is.”

Boy: “I have a baseball glove.”

Man: “How much?”

Boy: “$750.”

Man: Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your ball

and glove. Let’s go outside and play catch.”

The boy says, “I can’t. I sold them.”

The father asks. “How much did you sell them for?”

The son says, “$1000.”

The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends

like that. That is much more than those things cost. I’m going

to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church, the father alerts the priest, makes the boy

sit in the confessional and closes the door.

The boy says, “Dark in here.”

The priest says, “Don’t start that s**t again.”

<><><><><><> Lucky Last Joke. <><><><><><>

It may come as a surprise to people not living in Las Vegas,

but there are more Catholic churches there than there

are casinos.

Not so surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services will

give casino chips rather than cash when the collection basket

is passed around.

Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches

have devised a method to cash in the offerings.

The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby

Franciscan monestery for sorting and then the chips are

taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.

This task is carried out by the chip monks.

<><><><><> Father: “I hear you skipped school to play football.”

Son: “No I didn’t, and I have the fish to prove it.”

An irate woman burst into the baker’s shop and said, “I sent

my son in for 2 pounds of cookies this morning, but when I

weighed them, there was only 1 pound. I suggest you check

your scales.”

The baker looked at her calmly for a moment or two and then

replied, “Ma’am, I suggest you weigh your son.”

<><><><><><>

May you always walk with the morning star to guide you,

the summer sun on your back, and an angel by your side.

<><><><> Well that is it for this one, See you next time. <><><><>