Friday, July 21, 2006

The Woman.

Hello My Friends ~~ Back with you again. I hope

everything is going well with you and your families.

I am fine, in fact I tried out a new recipe for my

post tomorrow and it turned out nice. a Different

sort of salad which I hope will please.

An old friend sent me the following article by

e-mail the other day. It had music with it, but I

haven’t a clue how to post that. The words are the

important part anyway. It is called “The Woman.”

<><><><><><>

When God created woman he was working late on

the 6th day.

An angel came by and asked, “Why spend so much

time on that one ?”

The Lord answered, “Have you seen the specifications

I have to meet to shape her?”

<><><><>

She must be washable, but not made of plastic, have

more than 200 moving parts, which all must be

replacable and she must function on all kinds of food.

She must be able to embrace several kids at the same

time, give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised

knee to a broken heart, and she must do all this with

only two hands.

<><><><><>

The angel was impressed, “Just two hands—impossible.

And this is the standard model ? Too much work for

one day……wait until tomorrow and complete her then.”

“I will not, ”Said the Lord, “I am so close to completing

this creation, which will be the favourite of my heart.”

<><><><><>

She cures herself when she is sick and she can work for

18 hours a day.

The angel came nearer and touched the woman, “But you

have made her so soft, Lord.”

“She is soft,” said the Lord, “but I have also made her

strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome.?

“Can she think ?” the angel asked.

The Lord answered, “Not only can she think, she can reason

and negotiate.”

<><><><><>

The angel touched the woman’s cheek --- “Lord, it seems this

creation is leaking. You have put too many burdens on her.”

“She is not leaking --- it’s a tear,” the Lord corrected the angel

“What’s it for ?” ased the angel.

And the Lord said: “Tears are her way of expressing grief,

her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.”

This made a big impression on the angel, “Lord, you are a genius

You thought of everything. The woman is indeed marvellous.”

><><><><><>

Indeed, she is.

A woman’s strength amazes me. She can handle trouble, and

carry heavy burdens. She holds happiness, love and opinions.

She smiles when feeling like screaming.

She sings when she feels like crying and cries when she is

happy and laughs when she is afraid.

She fights for what she believes in, stands up against

injustice.

<><><><><>

She doesn’t take “no” for an answer, when she can see a

better solution.

She gives herself so her family can thrive.

She takes her friend to the doctor if she is afraid.

Her love is unconditional.

<><><><><><>

She cries when her kids are victorious.

She is hapy when her friends do well.

She is glad when she hears of a birth or a weddig.

Her heart is broken when a next of kin or a friend

dies. But she finds the strength to get on with her life.

She knows that a kiss and a hug can heal a broken heart.

<><><><><>

There is only one thing wrong with her.

She forgets what she is worth --------

Pass this on to your lady friends to remind them how

fantastic they are.

Pass it on to the males that you know—sometimes they

need to be reminded.

<><><><><> Now for a joke or two. <><><><><>

The Surgeons.

Five surgeons were discussing who makes the best

patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, “ I like to see accountants

on my operating table because when you open them

up, everything is numbered.

The second responds, “Yeah, but you should try

electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”

<><><><><>

The third surgeon says, “No, I really think librarians

are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical

order.

The fourth surgeon chimes in: “You know, I like

constructin workers, those guys always understand

when you have a few parts left over at the end, and

when the job takes longer than you said it would.

<><><><><>

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he said,

“You’re all wrong, politicians are the easiest to operate

on.”

“There’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no

spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.”

<><> A couple of quick riddles for you <><>

Why do black sheep eat less grass than white sheep?

How many cocktails can one drink on an empty stomach?

Answers tomorrow’s comments.

<><><><><><> A Joke called The Bill. <><><><><><>

A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary

hospital. As she lay her pet on the table, the Vet

pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s

chest. After a moment or two, the Vet shook his head

sadly and said, “I’m so sorry, Polly has passed away.”

<><><><><>

The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure ? I mean,

you haven’t done any tests or anything. He might just

be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes,shrugged, turned and left the

room, returning a few minutes later with a beautiful

black labrador. As the bird’s owner looked on in

amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his paws on

the table and sniffed the dead parrot. He looked at the

vet sadly and shook his head.

<><><><><>

The Vet led the dog out but returned a few moments

later wit a cat. The cat jumped up on to the table and

sniffed delicately the ex bird. The cat sat back, shook

his head, meowed and ran out of the room.

The Vet looked at the woman and said, “Like I told you,

your parrot is most definitely 100% dead.

He turned to his computer, hit a few keys and produced

a bill and handed it to the woman.

<><><><><>

The parrot’s owner, still in shock, took the bill,”$150 just

to tell me my bird is dead.”

The Vet shrugged, “Well, I’m sorry, but if you had taken my

word for it, the bill would have only been $20, but with the

Lab report and the Cat scan…….What did you expect it to be?”

<><><><> From my Calender <><><><>

You needn’t be the biggest or the strongest to accomplish

all of life’s tasks, just the most determined.

The ever-flowing river reminds us that life is eternal.

Just one simple act of kindness might make someone’s day---

or even a new friend.

All animals except man know that the principle business of

life is to enjoy it. – Samuel Butler.

<><><> Bye for now, Cheers, Merle. <><><>

9 comments:

Crazedmomof4 said...

You are wonderful as always. I copied your "Woman" to send out to my friends & I copied the surgeon to send out also & I copied The Bill for my blog.

Thankyou!

Sue said...

Loved the surgeon story! My husband also got a good chuckle out of that one!
The woman story is one someone sent me some time ago, but I loved it then and I loved reading it again!
Thanks for sharing....

Raggedy said...

Excellent post!
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) meow hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

Jon Cox said...

Hahaha, I love the parrot joke! Thank you so much!! I'm glad you enjoy my latest work! :o)

JunieRose2005 said...

Merle,

I enjoyed your post- especially the 'WOMAN' PART!!

...I'm back from shopping and, oh boy, am I tired!!
Think age is catching up on me!!

Junie

HORIZON said...

LOL on the politician joke- will read it to my hubby behind me here.
On the riddle about the sheep- is it because there are less black sheep than white?
:)

Ava said...

Great post! Can't wait to see the recipe.

mreddie said...

The quote by Samuel Butler was great, so many folks are miserable and either don't know it or don't know why. Looking forward to the recipe. ec

rhapsody said...

Gee, there's so much I'm going to have to come back & make sure I didn't miss anything...

Also I'm linking to you 'cause more people should have the opportunity for brighter days:)