Thursday, June 15, 2006

Cats and Teenagers.

Hi Everyone ~~ Time to blog again !! I hope you are all

doing well wherever you are, and not being threatened by

storms or worse. All OK where I am, but need rain badly.

Farmers starting to get seriously worried.

<><><><>

Teenagers and cats are the same.

1. Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you

call them by name.

2. No matter what you do for them, it is not enough. Indeed

all human efforts are barely adequate to compensate for

the privilege of waiting on them, hand and foot.

3. You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an

adult human being, and it can safely be said that no teen in

his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or

her parents.

4. Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat

nor your teen will ever crack a smile.

5. No cat or teenager shares your taste in music.

6. Cats and teenagers can lie on the living- room sofa for

hours on end without moving and barely breathing.

7. Cats have nine lives. Teenagers carry on as if they did.

8. Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner,

communicating that ultimate human ecstasy; a sense of

complete and utter boredom.

9. Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone’s furniture.

10. Cats are free to roam outside sometimes have been known

to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead

animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort

of behavior.

Thus if you raise teenagers, the best sort of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep

a guidebook on cats at all times. And remember this, above all

else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction.

When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you

for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant

moment for all concerned.

<><><><><><><> Joke of the Day <><><><><><>

Telstra (Aussie phone company) was to hire a team of phone

pole installers, and the Boss had to choose between 2 Aussies

and 2 Irish guys.

“Here’s what we’ll do,” the boss said. “Each will be installing

poles out on the new road for a day. The team that installs

the most phone poles gets the job.”

Both teams headed right out. At the end of the shift, Pat and Mike, the Irish guys came back and the boss asked them how

many they had installed.

They said it was tough going, but they had put in 12.

Forty-five minutes later, Sebastian and Shane, the Aussie guys

came back in and they were totally exhausted.

The boss asked them how many poles they had done.

Seb, the team leader, sighed: “Shane and me, we got three in.”

The boss gasped, “Three? Those Irish lads put in twelve.”

“Yeah,” said Seb, “but you should see how much they left sticking out of the ground.”

<><><><> A couple of Quick ones about marriage. <><><><>

A little boy asked his father,”Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know, Son, I’m still paying.”

<><><><><>

A young son asked, “Is it true, Dad that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?”

Dad replied,” That happens in every country, Son.”

<><><><><><>

First guy says, “My wife’s an angel.

Second guy says,”You’re lucky. Mine’s still alive.”

><><><><><><>

A Woman’s Prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom, to understand a man, to love and to forgive him, and for

patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for strength, I’ll just beat him

to death.

<><><><><><> And A Thought <><><><><>

For life to be meaningful, add a little sacrifice, subtract

hatred and anger, multiply friends and divide love for

everyone to share.

<><><><><> Bye For Now, Merle. <><><><><>

14 comments:

bornfool said...

Several of those little jokes had me laughing out loud. Thanks, Merle.

Joy Des Jardins said...

Some great jokes Merle. I love the Teenagers & Cats. Hope rain comes your way so the farmers can stop worrying. I'm all packed Merle...ready to go. Thanks for your very sweet comments...bless your heart. Love, Joy

LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ Already Thursday down there? Loved the Phone Pole joke! ~ jb///

Ava said...

Good afternoon!

Great post! Enjoyed the teenagers and cats!!

Ava

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I'm still over here in yesterday while you are already in tomorrow. It always amazes me when I come to visit and you are already enjoying the next day.

Loved your jokes and thoughts...you really had me laughing.

Hale McKay said...

Whew! Some great stuff on this post, Merle. The cats and teenagers part was classic - and so true. I loved the telephone poles story.
...Heck, i liked them all!

Granny said...

Stealing your teens and cats.

Michelle said...

Yep Merle, that had Telstra written all over it!! Happy Days :o)

Peter said...

Hi Merle, some good choices there.

Janice said...

Hi Merle,

Loved the jokes the teens and cats one has to be a classic, and the Telsta one make me LOL.

Janice~

somershade said...

We teach a young married sunday school class,they love your jokes.Funny bunny.I'll post a cat picture for you today.

doubleknot said...

Great to wake up to your jokes and wisdom - the cats and teens so true. Thanks.

JunieRose said...

...My favorite was the last part!
So true!

June

rhapsody said...

Thank you for the laughs:)