Thursday, June 08, 2006

Grandmas.

Hi Everyone ~~ Here we go again. Thanks to those who wished John a Happy Birthday. He had to work, but then is off for a long weekend at Mildura with the Ulysses (Sp?) Club on his Motor-cycle to camp for the weekend. Personally I think he will freeze, but I hope not. The motto of this club is “To Grow Old Disgracefully.” Great motto. John does not drink at all, so I have no worries there.

<><><><><> Short Poem ~ What are Grandmas For? <><><><><>

Grandmas are for stories

about things of long ago.

Grandmas are for caring

about all the things you know…

<><><><><>

Grandmas are for rocking you

and singing you to sleep,

Grandmas are for giving you

nice memories to keep….

<><><><><>

Grandmas are for knowing

all the things you’re dreaming of….

But most importantly of all,

grandmas are for love. Author unknown.

<><><><><><>

<><><><> Thirty Lines to make you smile. <><><><>

I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me.

Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don’t take life too seriosly; No one gets out alive.

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

I’m not a complete idiot ~ Some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it.

Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when

I grew up.

Procrastinate Now.

I have a degree in Liberal Arts; Do you want fries with that?

A Hangover is a wrath of grapes.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere.

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

He who dies with the most toys is none-the-less dead.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on.

<><><><> I hope you enjoyed some of those and didn’t

relate to too many of them !! <><><><><>

You know you’re living in 2006 when……

You accidently enter your passwod on the microwave.

You haven’t played Solitaire with real cards in years.

You have a list of 15 phone numbers for your family of 3.

Your reason for not stayng in touch with friends and family

is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

You’ve sat at the same desk for four years and worked for

three different companies.

You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o’clock news.

Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t

have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now cause

for panic and you turn around to go get it.

<><><><><><> And finally a little joke. <><><><><><>

John tells us he was at the hole-in-the-wall the other day and the sweet little old lady in front of him in the queue was having problems.

“She asked me to check her balance,” John said. “I gave her a push and she fell over.”

So I told her her balance wasn’t very good.”

<><><><><> That’s it for this post. Cheers. <><><><><>

11 comments:

Granny said...

Sweet and funny as usual.

Jacqui said...

Hi Merle, love your post.

Happy birthday John., the weekend should be great, enjoy it.

Walter mostly uses hocks, as he likes the meat off them. We have an old friend of his here tonight to enjoy some pea soup too, hugs jacqui

Michelle said...

LOL @ the gene pool & chlorine....oh so true!!

Peter said...

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Good post.

Joy Des Jardins said...

Love the Grandma poem Merle. BTW, if everything goes as planned, I'll be leaving for Boston on June 15th. I really can't wait to see Bastian and Bella...thanks for asking. Take care sweet lady....

somershade said...

Happy 52nd Birthday to your son John.

I can't wait to be a grandmother,liked your poem.

I loved the laugh, especially the mad cow and the handicapped stupidity thing.

oh do u know where BF is I told him he was setting a record of 35ish comments.:)

JunieRose2005 said...

As always, fun post at Herons Nest! :)

Hope your son's birthday was grand!

AND...Hope you're having a good day!

June

mreddie said...

My two favorites of the 'thirty lines' - Procrastinate now!!!! - I thought it needed the exclamations. And the other was one that I could relate to many years ago - 'A hangover is a wrath of grapes' - hasn't been a problem in years, but I still remember. :) Maybe that is the reason I don't drink now? ec

doubleknot said...

The lines to make you laugh - oh so many of them applied - ugh - what did I say? Oh yea, so many of them applied - need to find some missing parts I think - maybe I should just procrastinate.

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