Saturday, June 10, 2006

Children's Rights.

Hi Folks ~~ Well it is Saturday night here in Australia

and it has been a very cold day. Melbourne had a top

temperature of 9 degrees C. and I doubt if we got any

higher. It is supposed to rain, which would be great, but

I think snow is in the air. We don’t get snow here though

only on the mountains.

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Children’s Bill of Rights. Author Unknown.

My son came home from school one day, with that smile on his face. Watch me blow my Mum away, I’ll put her in her place.

Guess what I learned in Civics Two, taught by Mr Wright. It was all about the law today. The Children’s Bill of Rights.

I don’t have to clean my room or even cut my hair. No one can tell me what to eat or choose the clothes I wear.

Freedom of speech is my constitutional guarantee. It is my choice of what to read or watch on TV.

I have freedom of religion, and no matter what you say, I don’t have to ask your God for help. I don’t have to kneel to pray.

I can also wear an earring in my ear or even pierce my nose. I can have the Devil’s number tattooed across my toes.

Hey, if you spank me, I can charge you with assault. I can back up all my charges with the black and blue results.

Don’t ever touch my body, it is for me to use, and all those hugs and kisses are a form of child abuse.

Don’t fill my head with morals like your mother did to you. There’s such a thing as mind control, that’s illegal too.

Mom, I have these children’s rights. You can’t do a thing to me. I’ll just call the children’s services, better known as C.S.D.

My very first impression was to toss him out the door, but here is a chance to teach a lesson for once and ever more.

I kind of mulled it over, but I didn’t let it go. This kid of mine doesn’t realize, he is working with a pro.

The next day I took him shopping. Much to his dismay, I didn’t buy him 501s or shirts designed by Nike.

I called and talked to C.S.D. They said they didn’t care, if I bought him Volume shoes, or a pair of Nike Airs.

I cancelled his appointment to test his driving skills. I’d probably be dead by now, if only looks could kill.

I don’t have time to stop and eat, get stuff for you to munch. I followed C.S.D.’s advice, I bought you a big sack lunch

So, you say you’re not so hungry, You can wait till dinner time. I am fixing liver and onions, a favorite dish of mine.

So, you want to get a movie to watch on the VCR. Gosh I sold that television to buy tires for my car.

I also rented out your room. You don’t really need a bed. All I have to do is put a roof over your head.

As long as I will buy your clothes and all the food you eat. I can keep your allowance and buy me something really neat.

I know you like the tacos after we have shopped all day. Son, I have my bill of rights. They go in effect today.

Son, Why are you crying ? What are you doing on your knees? You’re asking God to help you, instead of C.S.D.?

<><><><><><><> Repeat of an old Joke. <><><><><><><>

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.” With that shestripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled “Come on baby, Mama needs new clothes!”

As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed.. YES! YES! I WON, I WON.” She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?

The other answered, “I don’t know ~ I thought you were watching.”

MORAL : Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

<><><><><><> A few quickies. <><><><><><>

A lady put an ad in the newspaper “Husband Wanted”. The next day she got 100 letters, all saying the same thing : “You can have mine.”

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Just think, if it wasn’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

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If you want your spouse to listen and really pay attention to every word you say ~~ talk in your sleep.

<><><><><><><> Bye for now, Merle. <><><><><><><>

8 comments:

Granny said...

Good morning - at least here.

Just checking in.

JunieRose said...

:) Hi Merle,

Some real goodies here!

June

Joy Des Jardins said...

Merle, I LOVE "The Children's Bill of Rights." It's great...thanks for posting it for all of us...young and old...to see.

mreddie said...

We could use just a bit of your coolness here, it was right around 100F, depending which source you checked. Plus we could really use some rain as well. Picked the first squash out of the garden yesterday - they were great! ec

Kelvin said...

Kia Ora Merle, from that blogger across the ditch !!! Enjoyed your jokes - oldies but goodies.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Merle...our weather here is perfect...not to hot or to cold.
Enjoyed your post as usual, with the usual laughter.

Jacqui said...

Hi Merle,
glad you are enjoying the travels and photos, and yes I did take the photos. Seeing as we are starting to make arrangements about our next trip, I thought I had better get this one out of the way.

hugs jacqui

Jacqui said...

Hi Merle,
glad you are enjoying the travels and photos, and yes I did take the photos. Seeing as we are starting to make arrangements about our next trip, I thought I had better get this one out of the way.

hugs jacqui