Hello to all ~ I hope you are having a great week and that
things are going well for you. All is well here, thankfully.
Kathy went to the doctor today and got the stitches out
of her finger and more anti-biotics, so hope that does the
trick. She has to go back on Friday.
Today is my Dad’s birthday, so he has been on my mind. He
would be 95 today, but he died in 2001 aged 90. I remember
him telling me that he was 23 years old when I was born.
I still miss him and our visits there twice yearly. He and my
stepmother lived on the border of New South Wales and
Queensland, so it was a long way from here.
<><><><> Tonight's story is called WHY WORRY? <><><><>
There are only two things in life to worry about.
You’re either rich or you’re poor.
If you are rich, you’ve got nothing to worry about, and if you
are poor, there are still only two things to worry about.
You are either well, or you’re ill.
If you are well, you’ve got nothing to worry about, but if you
are ill, there are still only two things to worry about.
You’re either going to get better, or you’re not.
If you are going to get better, you’ve got nothing to worry
about, and if you’re not, there are still only two things to worry
You’re either going up, or you’re going down.
If you are going up, you’ve nothing to worry about, and if you
are going down, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with old friends,
you won’t have any time to worry – so, Why Worry???
<><><><><><> And now some jokes etc. <><><><><><>
This one is a repeat, but one I think it’s funny.
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter.
Ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough
to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave,
because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren’t able to name that person, until the woman gave
a very touching speech. She said that she would voluntarily
let go of the rope, because , as a woman, she was used to
giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in
general, and was used to making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she had finished her speech, all the men started
clapping their hands….
<><><><><> This one is not very nice !! <><><><><>
A little fella walked into a pub and steps in a pile of dog poo.
His feet slip from under him and he crashes down heavily
on his back.
He gets up and staggers to the bar and rests there groggily with a stiff drink.
Just then, a big burly truckie walks in, stands in the same pile
and crashes down on his back.
The little fella says: “I just did that,”
So the truckie dropped him.
<><><><><> Some Definitions <><><><><>
OPPORTUNIST ~ A man who goes ahead and does what you
always intended to do.
CYCLOPS ~ Traffic policeman.
LITTLE TIFF ~ Argument between two pigmies.
HANGOVER ~ Something to occupy the head that wasn’t used
the night before.
MIDDLE AGE ~ When you know your way around, but don’t
feel like going.
DIPLOMATIC RELATIONSHIPS ~ The art of saying, “ Nice
Doggie” while you look around for a rock.
LIVING WAGE ~ Depends on whether you are getting it, or
RIGHT OF WAY ~ Something you are legally entitled to, but
it requires somebody to give it to you, and
if he doesn’t, you haven’t got it.
AH TOO he say ~~ If at first you don’t succeed—you’re
running about average.
AH TOO he say ~~ Man getting old when broad mind and
narrow waist, start to change places.
AH TOO he say ~~ He that giveth by the inch, but promises
by the yard, deserveth to be kicked by
AH TOO he say ~~ Shallow thinker, he never leave a deep
<><><> That is more than enough wit and wisdom. Bye!! <><><>