Monday, June 12, 2006

Dog Rules.

Hi everyone ~~ Hope all is well in your world. I found

these couple of items to share with you.~~~~~

DOG RULES. “ Things I MUST remember,” by the dog,

1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m

lying under the coffee table.

3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, sofa or under beds.

4. I must shake the rainwater off my coat before entering the

the house.

5. I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell them.

6. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones,

or my owners will think I am haemorrhaging.

7. Even though we have a door-bell, I will not bark every time

I hear one on TV.

8. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

9. I will not roll around in the dirt after getting a bath.

10. The cat is not a squeaky toy…So when I play with him and

he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.


And a joke for you.~~~

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fitted under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with cast under his shirt, he found himself to be assigned to the toughest students in school.

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonishethem. This happened several times.

When he could do work at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class raised it’s level of unruliness. Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places.

Discipline was not a problem from that day forth.!!

<><><><><><><> Take care folks, Merle. <><><><><><><>


LZ Blogger said...

Merle ~ Loved the dog rules! FUNNY Stuff! ~ jb///

Jacqui said...

Hi Merle,
I'm glad you are still enjoying the photos and the trip, it's good going back over it, I keep remembering things and how good it all was.
Cathy, our travel agent is working on our new itinerary, it's looking good.
Loved the teacher joke, and the grocery list story. The power of prayer is a remarkable thing.
hugs jacqui

JunieRose2005 said...

;) The doggie rules list was very cute!!

It's always fun reading your posts!


Ava said...

I love the dog rules! Genious!!!

Stapling the tie to his chest ... I can just imagine the look on a students face if that happened!!! Hillarious!!!


somershade said...

I always can count on a good laugh here,love the doggy thing.The stapling made me say ouch!

Peter said...

Hi Merle, ouch!!!!

doubleknot said...

Love the dog rules. I can just imagine the students faces in the staple story.
The Special Grocery List was nice. The one liners where funny.
Thanks for starting the day with a laugh.