Monday, June 05, 2006

Memo from God.

Hi folks ~~ Another cold evening in Australia, 4 degrees C.

and getting colder and it’s only 9.30 pm. It will get to Zero

or below before morning. I am fortunate, with heating and

an electric blanket to warm my bed.

Enough about the weather. I had a lady come to vacuum etc

today, she comes fortnightly for an hour and a half.

Then I had an young attractive lady call in to ask if I wanted

to sell my house. A phone call from an Electricity company

wanting me to join them but I already use them, Exciting ??

<><><><><> A story called : Memo from God. <><><><><>

To: YOU

Date: TODAY

From: THE BOSS

Subject: YOURSELF

Reference: LIFE

I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help. If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don’t despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege. Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it’s like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new grey hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn’t live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people’s bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them !!

Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you, you may have touched their life in ways you will never know.

<><><><><><> Joke of the day <><><><><><>

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.”

The priest asks: “Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?”

“Yes, Father, it is.”

“And who was the woman you were with?”

“I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

“Well, Johnny, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later

so you may as well tell me now.

“Was it Tina Minetti?”

“I cannot say.”

“Was it Teresa Volpe?”

“I’ll never tell.”

“Was it Nina Capeli?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

“Was it Cathy Piriano?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Was it Rosa DiAngelo then?”

“Please Father I cannot tell you.”

The priest sighs in frustration.

“You’re very tight-lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that.

But you have sinned and have to atone.

“You cannot attend church services for four months,

Now go and behave yourself.”

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides

over and whispers: “What did you get?”

“Four months’ vacation, and five good leads.”

<><><><><> A puzzle ~~ Answer in comments. <><><><><>

No Peeking !!

There were two Eskimos fishing on the same iceberg. One

of them was the father of the other one’s son.

How is this possible?

<><><><><><> That’s all folks. <><><><><><><>

16 comments:

Merle said...

Hi ~~ Did you figure it out? I must
admit that I didn't.

The other Eskimo was his wife.

Wystful1 said...

Love the joke!!! Too funny.

I am new to visit you, and enjoyed your blog.

Much Monday happiness to you. Hope it's warming up some now. (Here in the USA it's nearly summer and in Texas, where I live, it's downright HOT)

bornfool said...

I got it after a minute or two.

Gandksmom said...

Yeah, I got it too....after a few minutes! You are too funny!

Peter said...

Hi Merle, good joke.

somershade said...

Cannot believe how cold it is there.
I liked the God thing and the joke was to funny,I read it to hubby.

Thanks for wishing me happy birthday.

And I always enjoy reading your sweet comments on everyones blog.

will be back soon and let these warm u up XXXOOO :)

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I also can't believe how cold it is there. We are beginning our summer here with pleasant weather. Love the God thing and the joke. It took me a pad and paper to finally figure out that it had to be his wife.

mreddie said...

That wasn't a bad day to talk about. The cold weather, the vacuum lady, the real estate person and to really electrify your day, the electric company! :) Sometimes the routine days are the best kind. ec

kenju said...

Good puzzle, Merle. I thought it would be a grandfather or something like that.

Granny said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Granny said...

That's because I put "husband and wife" before I read the comments (so I wouldn't be cheating) Then I thought I might spoil it for some else so I deleted it.

Then I went back and found you'd published the answer.

Mass confusion on my part.

Michelle said...

Loved the eskimo's!
Can i borrow your electric blanket?? C'mon Merle, pleeeeeeeeese!

Thomas LB said...

It's surprising how hard a riddle can be when things are worded just slightly differently than you're used to!

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