Sunday, June 04, 2006

Little Tony.

Back again to say Hello again. Well my weekend is just about over. It has been very quiet and quite cold, so my heater is working overtime. My friend Ann was saying how she took her three Great-Grand-Daughters to the Dollar shop for a treat.

Well I used to like to do that with my grandchildren when they lived closer to me. Their mother seemed to think most things at the $2 shop were rubbish. I remember trying to help them choose some little thing and being asked, “Is this rubbish, Grandma?” My thought: Well they do not cost much, so long as the kids get some fun out of them. There were always cute hair decorations, and little puzzles etc.

<><><><> A story a friend sent me. Thanks Jan.

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LITTLE TONY ON MATH

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."

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LITTLE TONY ON MATH (Part 2)

Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3,'" I said "6", replies TONY. "But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3 x 2?'" "What's the f-ing difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!"

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LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH

Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

TONY says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful." Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

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LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"

<><><><><> LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f-ing beautiful!'"

LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER

Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own f-ing business.

You gotta LOVE Little Tony!!!!!

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<><>Now I’ll look for something a little more refined.<><>

Author unknown, So let’s call it “ONE” :

One song can spark a moment

One flower can wake the dream

One tree can start a forest

One bird can herald Spring

One smile begins a friendship

One handclasp lifts a soul

One star can guide a ship at sea

One word can frame the goal

One vote can change a nation

One sunbeam lights a room

One candle wipes out darkness

One laugh will conquer gloom

One step must start each journey

One word must start a prayer

One hope will raise our spirits

One touch can show you care

One voice can speak with wisdom

One heart can know what is true

One Life can make a difference

You see, it’s up to you!!

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There are only ten body parts with three letters…..

Can you name all of them? Answer in comments.

Thanks for that idea Judy.

<><><><><> Bye for now <><><><><>

14 comments:

Merle said...

The ten body parts with 3 letters are :

Leg / Ear / Rib / Arm / Hip / Gum /

Eye / Jaw / Toe / Hip /.

How did you go? I got 7 easily, but
tat was all. Cheers, Merle.

Thomas LB said...

I only got three, then I decided there must be a puch line and clicked to the comments. That's a clever little game- I'll share it with my young niece and nephew when they visit me in two weeks.

Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I like "Little Tony." Thanks.

Gandksmom said...

Ear, Eye, Toe, Rib, Arm, Leg, Jaw....That is all I could come up with! I love "Little Tony! So funny!

Ms. Vickie said...

As always Ms. Merle it was a delight to visit here.
Little Tony was a cute one today and I think I have
one of like him in my family. Clever little game.
Hope you have a great week, you are a kind lady to
many.

Granny said...

I didn't realize there were so many with only three letters until I started counting them off.

It's a good game to try on the girls.

Rubbish is in the eye of the beholder. They've become more discerning as they grow older though.

JunieRose2005 said...

When my kids were young-'Rubbish Things' was mostly all I could afford...But you know what...balloons-coloring books -puzzles-liquid bubbles-jacks...those things kids ENJOYED in those days!!

I remember when the kids were small and we would go on vacations, I would buy little Golden books and coloring books and little games for the kids to travel with!

It takes a lot more, usually, these days to satisfy kids!

Kinda sad-IMHO

June

doubleknot said...

That little Tony - he is a handful isn't he and sooo funny.
Kids like 'rubbish' - last Xmas the big hit was a dollar toy I picked up at the Dollar Store - wouldn't you know it.
If we could all be like our dogs we would be better off.
Had to laugh at the duck tape - that is the answer to everything around here.
It is strange you are running your heater and I on the other side of the world am running my A/C to try and keep cool with these 96%F days we are having right now - the weather has to break soon and start raining.
I liked the one list also. Thanks

doubleknot said...

One more thing - you mentioned fixing a leg of lamb in one of your posts - it really started me craving - the best I could do was some lamb chops but am really looking forward to fixing them and since my room mate doesn't like them I will have left overs.

Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I liked Tony...I had received Tony in an email, but it's still funny when I read it again. The ONE poem was also nice and I only got 5 of the body parts.

Peter said...

What's the deal here Merle, you posted little Tony on May 1st and shocked your poor little brother then, now you've done it again!!!!!

Michelle said...

$2 dollar shops are great! They have some great stuff and kids love it, they keep amused for hours :o)

Merle i am freezing! I went to bed near fully clothed last night! It was 7 this morning, lucky i have heater. :o)

Stay warm :o)

Meow said...

Love Little Tony ... read him before, but always enjoy reading him again !!!
I couldn't find all 10 body parts (well, I'm sure I have them, but couldn't think of them !!).
I love $2 shops, great for nick-nacks !!
Take care, Meow

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