Little Tony.

Back again to say Hello again. Well my weekend is just about over. It has been very quiet and quite cold, so my heater is working overtime. My friend Ann was saying how she took her three Great-Grand-Daughters to the Dollar shop for a treat.

Well I used to like to do that with my grandchildren when they lived closer to me. Their mother seemed to think most things at the $2 shop were rubbish. I remember trying to help them choose some little thing and being asked, “Is this rubbish, Grandma?” My thought: Well they do not cost much, so long as the kids get some fun out of them. There were always cute hair decorations, and little puzzles etc.

<><><><> A story a friend sent me. Thanks Jan.

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LITTLE TONY ON MATH

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little TONY.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.

Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on," but I like your thinking."

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LITTLE TONY ON MATH (Part 2)

Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3,'" I said "6", replies TONY. "But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me "How much is 3 x 2?'" "What's the f-ing difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!"

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LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH

Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

TONY says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful." Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

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LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR

Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"

<><><><><> LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR (Part 2)

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on little TONY. "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just f-ing beautiful!'"

LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER

Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?" Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own f-ing business.

You gotta LOVE Little Tony!!!!!

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<><>Now I’ll look for something a little more refined.<><>

Author unknown, So let’s call it “ONE” :

One song can spark a moment

One flower can wake the dream

One tree can start a forest

One bird can herald Spring

One smile begins a friendship

One handclasp lifts a soul

One star can guide a ship at sea

One word can frame the goal

One vote can change a nation

One sunbeam lights a room

One candle wipes out darkness

One laugh will conquer gloom

One step must start each journey

One word must start a prayer

One hope will raise our spirits

One touch can show you care

One voice can speak with wisdom

One heart can know what is true

One Life can make a difference

You see, it’s up to you!!

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There are only ten body parts with three letters…..

Can you name all of them? Answer in comments.

Thanks for that idea Judy.

<><><><><> Bye for now <><><><><>